Super-Chuck

More powerful than a teenage girl’s attitude!

Super power, huh? Well, let’s get right to the point. I would like the power to make people LAUGH-LAugh- laugh (That’s supposed to be an echo).

What? I only get it for a day? Hah! Forget it. Something else, then.

I would like to be a MIDDLE AGED WOMAN-MIDDLE Aged woman- middle aged woman (another echo.) Just think of the power I would have. I could be bitter, angry, opinionated, vengeful, menopausal. . .uh, never mind. Then I’d be my wife.(Yep, I slipped that in there.) Something else, then.

Oh, here’s a good one. No more echoes, I promise. I would like the super power of understanding New Math. But if it’s only for one day, it would have to be the day my son studies for his SAT’s. Yes, I said “day.”

Nah, I’ll pay a tutor. I don’t want to waste my power on an ungrateful little brat. . .that I love more than life and am just kidding!

Okay, here it is. My super power would be to be Dr. Manhattan from The Watchmen. He was deemed the most powerful being in existence. He had the ability to manipulate time, space, and matter. He could create multi-verses. He could defeat Superman, Darkseid, and Doomsday with a flick of his finger.

Yep, that’s who I would be. What would I do with the power of a God? Well, that’s easy. Create better BBQ. And, um, reposition the hair molecules on my head so that I had a full head of hair, with a slight curl hanging over the forehead. And I would make it dark black hair, and give myself blue eyes. . .wait, already have blue eyes.

Then I would manipulates the molecules of my body to give myself around a 15% body fat, and corded muscles. . .wait a minute! I’m describing Julia E Hubbel! I can’t be her, she’s already her!

Well, I would have a penis and I think she doesn’t. . .and her boobs would probably be a little bigger than mine. I could probably afford make my penis a little smaller. . .it would fit better in my Speedo. Oh, wait! I’d be naked.

Oh, there is so much I could do. So many little things, like getting rid of nuclear weapons, developing clean, unlimited energy, increasing access to clean water and more food for everyone, turn the orange man into a little turd, scoop him up and put him in a little baggie, win the lottery.

So boring, though.

Ooh, I could make myself invisible and sneak into the women’s locker room at the gym. . .okay, that’s a little creepy. Strike that.

Nah, I think I’ll just stick with being me. I’ll probably get in less trouble that way.

But only after I turn my 1979 Pinto into a 1965 Mustang convertible. Then, I’ll be me.

I was tagged in this article by Timothy Key. I am going to pick some people at random from my followers/following list and tag them, and see what happens: conny manero, hanna james Insaf Ali Marla Bishop Eli Snow Trista Ainsworth Phillip Tan Riku Arikiri Keno Ogbo. I hope all of you take the opportunity to try something new and to, perhaps, interact with us in a whole new way. Good writing!

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Mental Health is more important today than ever. If you are feeling down, reach out and talk with someone. I hope you got a laugh out of this, and it helped lighten your mood.

Chuck Roast is a writer, author, word generator, hack, scribbler, literary genius, penman, scribe, litterateur, poet in residence (my house), satirist, and humorist (“humourist” for those of you who like the “incorrect” spelling)for Medium and the publication Illumination, among others, a Top Writer in Satire and Humor, owner/editor/writer of his own Publication, Dad-Bods, which is currently sitting idle while he develops his social media skills and gains more exposure through manipulation of said social media. He was recently curated for the first time, in Poetry, for his poetic story, Remember the Founders and Their Reasons.

Here are the links to his accounts, LinkedIn, Twitter. Comments are always appreciated. Thanks for reading. Write On! Write well, write good, and write enough!

Please comment! I’d love to hear from you!