Medium Leavers

Stop Telling Me You’re Leaving Medium and Go and Mastodon Somewhere Else

Advice for crybabies everywhere

So I read you’re leaving Twitter?

— Yeah, I’m going to Mastodon.

Cool. I’m going through a divorce, but I’m not shouting about it.

I’m not getting divorced — that was a mock-up. But if I was, I wouldn’t write about it. Why bother? When I was growing up everyone got divorced. It was no big deal.

‘Are you coming out to play?’ I’d ask my friend next door.

‘Sorry, my parents are getting divorced. I’m moving to New York with my dad, tonight.’

‘OK. See you. Bye!’

I lost most of my friends through divorce. One year I had loads of friends. The next I had none. And after that, it was difficult to make new ones as everyone was already in gangs. So I was left on the outside. Alone.

That might make a good piece!

It would be hard reading, but certainly more inspiring than

Only two words come to mind when I read stuff like this

FUCK

and

OFF

I don’t understand why people write these posts. Leaving Medium isn’t hard. You just stop writing and let yourself drift away like a corpse floating down a river.

You don’t have to announce it. It’s no big deal.

But if you really insist on letting people know, why not write something like this.

A simple appreciative note to all those folks who have waded through your shit poetry for years and left kind comments.

But no.

Instead, we get an aggressive fuck-off telling everybody they’ve been wasting their time for the past three years, because now they’ve got better things to do at Substack and Mastodon.

Well, good luck to you. But before you go, here’s a little something to take with you on your journey.

It’s a FUCK and an OFF

Have a happy fucking life!

Thanks for leaving. For more cynicism, check out

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