Stop Taking Everything So Personally.

The truth is, 99% of the time, it's not about you.

We take things too personally.

We become too involved and invested in things that have little to nothing to do with our lives. Why do we do that?

It could be because it gives us a sense of importance. A sense of participation, of belonging, of superiority?

But I'm learning that we're using this to distract ourselves from the aspects of our lives we're not too thrilled with.

We're giving away our energy when we have strong opinions about people, places, and things that have no say or impact on our lives.

Rather than focusing on ourselves and the things we want to change, we give our energy and attention to these 'things' we emotionally invest in.

And when someone disagrees with us about this 'thing,' we take it as a personal attack.

We think we're being told the way we are is flawed or not good enough — we need to change who we are, at our core, to be good enough.

But the truth is:

We can't handle criticism.

Our culture has taken away the value of feedback.

Feedback is how we learn what our strengths and weaknesses are.

We need to know what we're good at and what we need to work on to improve.

Without this information, we remain stagnant and stuck and can't move forward.

Ironically, we're wondering why this is happening, yet the answer is staring us right in the face.

We're gaslighting ourselves.

We constantly ask ourselves why things aren't different, changing, or improving, but when we hear suggestions about what we should change, we throw a fit and call feedback a personal attack against our character.

We're letting our egos dictate how we should react to circumstances.

Instead of reflecting on our actions, we're constantly allowing ourselves excuses as to why we don't need to grow and evolve.

Which leads to my next point:

Our egos have been allowed to grow too big.

We tend to have very strong opinions about things we know little to nothing about.

I've fallen into the trap of thinking I can call myself an expert because I know something.

That's a blatant lie.

Like I said earlier, we're letting our egos dictate too many of our actions.

Constantly protecting our feelings and letting them lead the way rather than mastering and controlling them.

I won't deny that it's easier said than done.

Sometimes, emotions and feelings can feel and be very big and overwhelming.

But ultimately, we're the only ones who have the power to change how we react to those emotions.

We're the only ones able to stop ourselves, think, and make a conscious decision to react differently.

Nobody, no matter what you do, can do this for you.

You're the one who needs to accept full responsibility for your actions and accept that how you react is 100% within your control.

Otherwise, you cannot start making the necessary changes to truly change your life.

Lastly, here's a reality check we all need (myself included).

The world doesn't care much about you and what's going on in your life (unless you're a celebrity).

Everyone has something going on that's stressful.

And, like I said earlier, we're giving too much energy to things, people, and places that have absolutely nothing to do with us.

Why do we care about some random celebrity's life so darn much?

(That's beside the point I'm trying to make now and a conversation for another blog).

We all have responsibilities, duties, goals, difficult circumstances we're dealing with, etc., happening in our lives.

We all have much more in common than we realize. We're all struggling together to survive, build the lives we want, create memories with friends and loved ones, and find joy in all of it.

Why does it matter so much what Joe Schmo and Sally May have to say about it?

The truth is it doesn't matter.

We make it matter because we like the idea that what we do is somehow important to other people.

I'm not saying we shouldn't care about anyone. That's extreme.

I'm saying we need to be more selective of who and what we give our attention to.

And not mind so much those who disagree with us.

Because odds are, we're better off focusing all that extra energy on investing in ourselves, our goals, our healthy relationships, our finances, etc.

That way, we can be on our way to building a life we're content with and find plenty of joy in.