Social Deities — Part One
A brand new, light hearted multi-part story of what happens when you give Greek god’s social media access.
It’s a little-known fact that the Greek gods take a great deal of interest in human advancements. One such intrigue was the development of social media. In fact, it fascinated the gods so much that they invented their own version of social media. In place of Twitter or Facebook, they made their own social media website called God Book.
God Book quickly had almost every god and deity of Olympia sign up within the first day. Zeus’s about me read: sexy since 700 BCE. In a very open marriage and always looking for my next baby mama. Shout out to my fave boy, Heracles.
Sometime after the creation of the godly social media site, Aphrodite lazed on her Grecian chaise, sweeping through God Book on her phone. She hurried past some of Athena’s selfies with her shield and rolled her eyes at Hera’s loved up posts dedicated to Zeus, despite the man’s lack of faithfulness to her over the years.
She stopped when a post from Poseidon caught her eye.
SOME of us don’t need to start wars amongst the humans for validation. SOME of us know how awesome we are because we can move seas and control sharks.
The post received one hundred likes and ten laughing faces. She felt her anger begin to flare at what she felt was a not-so-subtle attempt at throwing shade. At HER. It was clearly a reference to the time that she helped the Trojan’s simply because Paris granted her the golden apple, the prize that went to the goddess named most beautiful.
Well, that pompous fish head wasn’t going to get away with this slight.
Aphrodite’s fingers typed furiously on her phone.
SOME OF US DON’T HELP HUMANS MERELY FOR VALIDATION. SOME OF US DO WHAT WE BELIEVE IS RIGHT.
She pressed send. It only took a few minutes before her post began to gather likes from her brethren. A satisfied smile lit up her face but dropped when she saw a notification that Poseidon had commented.
LMAO, you’ve never done anything for anyone unless it was out of vanity or egotism.
His comment received eighty-eight likes and a comment from Zeus: OOH BURN.
The goddess felt her face flush with the heat of anger and her bottom lip begin to quiver. She would not stand for this disrespect!
I HAVE SO! IN FACT, I’M GOING TO HELP A HUMAN RIGHT NOW! IT HAPPENS TO BE THE DAY OF VALENTINES! A DAY OF LOVE WHICH HAPPENS TO BE MY SPECIALITY, FISH BREATH!
Immediately she got hundreds of positive likes and a few of her fellow goddesses whom she was on cordial terms with commenting their support.
Finally, Poseidon’s reply came.
I’ll meet you in the human city of New York and I’ll record your selfless act for all our Pantheon to see. That’s if you manage to do something good for once, girl.
Scowling, Aphrodite swiped off God Book and checked out her wardrobe. She would need her best human attire of recent Earth fashions if she was going to blend in on the planet below.
TBC
Thank you for reading this first part of a three part tale. It’s the first in a planned series called Keeping Up With The Olympians. A thank you to my husband CJ Coop for the prompt that inspired this.
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The next parts will be up on Tuesday and then Thursday.
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