Writing Prompt Responses | Short Story | Mashups

Smiling at the Chaos Army

A fantasy flash fiction story

This story is a (late) response to Monday Mashup #25, and a stand-alone fantasy short story.

Dex set down his ale, and gazed at the beautiful adventurer that he had been flirting with for the past twenty minutes. The rest of the taproom may as well not have existed.

“Yeah, it’s true. I am a survivor of the devastation of Redforthill,” he said. “I was alone in the barracks when the city was attacked. It was chaos. Ogres, dark elves, owlbears, the lot. A full-on chaos army.”

“How’d you escape?” she asked.

Dex tensed up, the memories running through his mind.

It was true that he’d been alone… thanks to drowning his sorrows the night before, and then being so hungover that his comrades had left him in his bunk when guard duty started.

He had lain there for another half hour, knowing that he was sure to be fired before the day was out. Well — another town, another tavern. He’d move on. Like always.

It had been mysteriously quiet, he remembered that…

Pulling on a tunic rather than his chain armor, and leaving his weapons, Dex walked through to the castle courtyard. It was almost deserted, but he heard an altercation at the mage’s tower:

“Are you a druid?” said a voice. “We need your help. You legally have to tell me if you’re a druid.”

A male voice replied: “Can you please be quiet? We’re trying to worship chaos over here.”

Frowning, Dex hurried over, wishing he’d brought his sword. As he approached, he saw a woman at the door of the tower. She was holding a sickly-looking boy by the hand. Inside, the tower were two red-robed chaos cultists, sitting on either side of a glowing pentagram that had been etched into the floor.

“I’ll ask again — isn’t this the druid’s tower?” demanded the woman.

“The Army of Doom is almost upon us,” said one cultist, a very tall kid with many dark shadows under his eyes. “Enjoy your last minutes before your flesh forms part of the feast.”

Dex looked from one pair to the other. “Uh, ma’am, the Druid’s Tower is on the far side of the castle, on Merchant Square near the city wall,” he said, pointing. “You can cut past the keep there, and exit through the trade’s gate.” He glanced briefly at the cultists. “Perhaps hurry. And take a weapon?”

“Does a child count as a weapon?” she spat, as she moved off.

Dex returned his gaze to the youthful chaos cultists. “I may be new around here,” he said, “but I don’t think you’re supposed to be doing that.”

“Get lost, peasant,” said the pale one.

Dex grinned, then leaned back against the door, casually looking for any weapons that might be lying on the court mage Naya Flameweaver’s desk. “You know, I don’t think that this ‘army of doom’ thing sounds like a fun time for any of us.”

“Well, we won’t be eaten,” snarled the second cultist, a short and spotty youth of about seventeen years. “We’re the chosen ones.”

“Let’s see how that works out for you,” said Dex coolly. He had noticed a wand in a box, labelled Wand of Smiles. It had to be worth a try. He raised it, and stabbed out, focusing on releasing its power.

A beam of light briefly surrounded both cultists. And immediately, the snarls left their faces. “Wow, it’s been so good talking to you, man!” said the tall cultist, rising, and smiling like a hyena.

“It feels so good to visit this castle at last,” said the spotty one, grinning broadly and moving out into the courtyard. “We should say thanks to the Duke.”

“Oh, but he’s gonna be eaten. Damn,” said the tall one, smiling all the time.

“We’d best hurry, then,” said the other.

Just then, an enormous owl-bear with glowing red eyes leaped the castle wall. It advanced on the cultists.

“Wonderful — the Army of Chaos has arrived!” said the pale one, though his tired eyes looked terrified.

“Oh, but we’re the chos… the Arma-doom…” The second cultist fell silent as the ravening owl-bear chomped into his smiling face.

“I now realize letting you summon the chaos horde was an extremely poor choice on my part,” sighed the pale cultist, as two demonic lizards joined the scene and ripped off his arms.

Dex was already sneaking away around the side of the keep. Not waiting to see more, he raced for the trade gate. He knew that the closest area of city wall was also the beginning of a tunnel that ran under the moat and to the mountains.

But could he get there?

Emerging into Merchant Square with the city wall ahead, Dex saw a scene of carnage and chaos. The woman with her kid were ahead, near the middle of the square, frozen and terrified. There were bloody battles with ogres up on the wall, while to either side, local soldiers — his comrades — faced ravening, dark elf chaos soldiers.

“This way,” snapped Dex, sprinting forward, and grabbing the woman by the hand. “Come with me if you want to live.”

Several chaos soldiers had broken through up ahead, and were attacking civilians and soldiers alike. They were blocking the way to the tunnel. One loomed up, but Dex fired the wand again.

“Oh, hey there, man!” said the chaos soldier affably, lowering his sword, and patting Dex on the back. “Nice to meet you. Don’t be a stranger!” A local warrior then decapitated the still-grinning dark elf, and Dex hurried on, the woman and child still in tow.

Dex paused, gauging the response.

“Hey, don’t stop. It’s a cool story,” said the adventurer, raising her eyebrows.

“It’s not a story — it’s true.”

“Right. I mean — whatever.” She glanced away; the rest of the woman’s adventuring party had arrived, and were waving at her from another table.

Dex knew that she didn’t believe him, but wasn’t sure that he cared at this point. “You’re cute,” he said. “I may have just met you, but gosh darn I’d like to adopt an owl bear with you.”

“Ugh. No thanks, creep.” With that, the woman left to join her friends.

Dex sighed, as he drained his drink. “Right,” he said softly to himself. “Add that to the list of ones that didn’t work out.” He put down the tankard, and stood up. “Ah, well. Another town, another tavern.”

Thanks for the challenge, Bradan Writes Stories! Maybe Mojave Green FJCMontenegro and Samuel Kenneth Kauffman would have fun with the same challenge:

My scorecard:

Main prompt:
Your hero has to get out of dodge (2 points).

Elements:
The story starts in/on a tavern (1 point).
Quote constraints (3 for 1 point each; there are actually five of them! Check the list below and find them).
Item constraints – a wand of smiling (1 point).
This box (1 point).

Hardcore Constraint:
Include a flashback (most of the story is one; 2 points)
(the name of the town is a portmanteau, too).

TOTAL: 10 points

Thanks for reading! You can find more of my fiction here, as well as all of my advice and guidance on creative writing right here. Want stories like this in advance, along with thoughts on the creative process? Check out my Ko-Fi! 🧠

All of Bradan’s quote constraints are listed below:

• “Are you a druid? You legally have to tell me if you’re a druid.”
• “I now realize letting you summon an (Insert thing) was an extremely poor choice on my part.”
• “I may have just met you but gosh darn I’d like to adopt an owl bear with you.”
• “Does a child count as a weapon?”
• “Is that (insert monster/baddie) negging us? It’s working incredibly well”
• “Can everyone stop overreacting? It was ONLY a murder!”
• “Can you please be quiet? We’re trying to worship chaos over here.”
• “I can’t do CPR. I’m a snake!”