Single Men — You’ve Got a Lot to Learn

Etiquette tips for single men exploring the Lifestyle

Most people would be surprised to know that many single people explore the Lifestyle in the same way couples do. Single women and men attend hotel takeovers, house parties and even date couples within the realms of the swinging world. While single women are quite rare, so rare in fact, that they are often referred to as “unicorns,” single men are almost everywhere in swinging circles and on swinging dating apps.

Why these single dudes are looking for hookups and/or love in the world of couples is a bit of a mystery, but for most part, it seems like they are just looking for good times and casual sex partners. Who can blame them?

While some party hosts make an effort to screen single men a little deeper than others do, there are a few underlining common themes among single men in the Lifestyle. They tend to be a bit pushy, disrespectful and forget why they are even there.

You Aren’t a Replacement to my Husband

There are some really awesome single men within the confines of the Swinging Community. However, for every good guy, there are about three not so great ones. The worst of the worse are the single men that think women are looking for sex because they are lacking something at home. They assume that because I am seeking to have intercourse outside of my marriage, or bring another man into my bedroom alongside my husband, that he must be inadequate in some way.

News Flash: He’s not.

In fact, my husband is so fucking awesome, he let’s me fuck other men AND other women. In return, I give him free range to ravage all the sexy women that will have him. This is the core meaning of swinging — togetherness, partnership, and respect. These are also things that many single dudes don’t bring to the table because, well, they are single.

You Aren’t God’s Gift to Sex

I can’t tell you the number of times a single male either via online chat or at a swinger event has told me that he is going to be the “best fucking lay” of my life or that he is going to do something to me that’s never been done before. While some single men really do bring some mad skills into the bedroom or into a group sex situation, most are average at best.

Most women in the Lifestyle don’t give a shit about your 9" cock if you don’t know how to use it. You have to remember that in this situation, our True Norths are also participating. The absolute best sex I have ever had is with my husband. If you can’t show me a good time, I will find my man and enjoy him because he is a sure thing. This even happened once at a party — a single man that was invited to a group play situation attempting to fuck me and unable to keep his dick hard. After several attempts to help rectify his situation, I walked across the hotel suite and pulled my husband’s face off of a beautiful woman and told him to fuck me. I get mine. Always.

You Are Always on Thin Ice

Being invited to a house party or any other type of swinger event is a privilege for single men. In fact, I’d guesstimate only about 1 in every 100 single males will even be invited to an LS event. No matter how great they are or how much the women (and men) love him, he must be on his best behavior if he plans to ever be invited back.

This means do NOT do any of the following:

Touch without permission
Join in without permission
Whip your dick out without consent
Start trouble with couples
Put down other couples or individuals
Get sloppy drunk
Think you will be playing bare

The list could go on and on, but you catch my drift. Single dudes have to be gentlemen. Honestly, all men in the Lifestyle always should be! But, if you don’t have a female that is participating alongside you, the fun police will be watching you even more so…

The Lifestyle Is Not a Place to Find a New Woman

I want to tell you that I’ve never seen a single man come into the Lifestyle and attempt to lure somebody’s girlfriend or wife away for a little side action or even to cheat, but I’d be lying. It happens. I know couples that got loose with their boundaries which allowed a single male to squirm his way into the wife’s pants during times without permission (while her husband was at work) and eventually into her heart. This resulted in the married couple breaking up. Funny thing is, a year down the line she wasn’t even with the single swinger man, and just like that, her life was forever changed.

Singles should not enter the Lifestyle in search of love. This applies for men or women. While some swingers intuitively practice elements of ethical nonmonogamy or even polyamory, many don’t. In fact, it’s best to assume most have found their life partner and are not looking to change their situation at all.

Most swingers are innately giving, accepting and welcoming of others, even singles. The need for an extra man in group play scenarios or even letting a woman be the center of attention are all subsects of the Lifestyle. There is a need for singles in this.

However, while most single women carry themselves with grace, courtesy and are in fact interested in both the man and the woman, single men at the core of it all are just looking for some pussy. Hey, who can blame them? The key is to remember that you are one of the select few chosen to be included with other couples. You are the odd man out in this situation. Try as you must to change that, you never will. Operate with the knowledge that you are not the star of the show or only man that will make all the women cum. You are a swinging dick there to please and entertain. Know your place and everyone will have a much better time!

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