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an for the first time, and it’s a lot. This can effect your performance.The best thing any man can do before swinging, is to chill the fuck out. Don’t worry about what might happen when the time comes to take your clothes off — just go with the flow of the evening. If you have concerns, talk to your fellow swingers and hash it out. You’d be surprised how common being flaccid early on in your swinging journey is — it’s okay, but don’t remain there.<h1 id="aa42">Put the Work In</h1>One of the biggest contributors of lost erections are condoms. So many of us have only had sexual intercourse with only our spouses for many years. More often than not, this is <a href="http:// https://link.medium.com/w3vT0UloVnb">without use of a condom.</a> When a man suddenly has to go back to wearing them as protection in the Lifestyle, it can be a tough adjustment.This can be combated by trying out different kinds of rubbers on your own wife. Mr. Black and I experimented with many different kinds before he found one that worked for him. That way, when our play partners requested that we all play safe, he was able to do so because he had practiced with me.If you think your issues are in your head, work to identify what is triggering you to lose your boner. For example, is seeing your wife get railed too much? Maybe separate room play could be a good option for you? Find the problem and figure it out.<h1 id="3ee1">Use All the Tools in Your Arsenal</h1>Many swingers are open-minded and super understanding of any uncomfortableness that may arise during play. For men that have a hard time getting hard, they fail to realize all of the tools they have at their disposal. If you have to, have your wife get you started. Starting with your own partner is not an uncommon occurrence in the Lifestyle after all.Okay, say you get hard, but then it starts to go limp. Why not reach over and touch your wife to see if it helps? If need be, ask her to come over and send your female play friend over to her husband for a minute. Sometimes bringing in the familiar is the best way back to pound town.It’s also not uncommon to take medications such as Viagra before playing. Of course, this should only be done with a prescription. Additionally, lots of foreplay can help many men get hard in a s

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lower, less aggressive way. This can also help with any anxiety that they may be feeling. Some other things that you may be able to use:<ul><li>Initial Girl/Girl play — hot, right?</li><li>Have a drink or two to lighten the mood, but don’t get sloppy!</li><li>Sexy music and atmosphere — who brought the red lights?</li></ul><h1 id="da73">What Not To Do</h1><ul><li>Blame your female swinger friend for your lack of an erection. Really? Do you actually want to have the chance to ever fuck her again? And let’s be honest, it’s a you problem not a her problem.</li><li>Act like a diva. Don’t ruin the fun for everyone else if you can’t get hard. Let your wife have her fun, and do whatever else you can to please your swinging partner. Get good at giving oral!</li><li>Turn the entire thing into a shit show. Don’t make a bigger deal about being flaccid than it needs to be. It is what it is. Being overly dramatic will make it even worse!</li></ul>Every couple swings for different reasons. For us, we enjoy being able to have sex with other people while still being together. For me, as a woman that enjoys sex, I like to have sex with a man that can not only get hard, but stay hard. You have to remember that I’m not here because I lack sex in my life. My husband fucks me better than anyone else, but you are an added bonus to that. If you can’t bring it, then you are going to get left in the dust. I know that sounds mean, but dude, it’s the truth.Working through erectile dysfunction in the Lifestyle is the responsibility of the man. You have to work on these issues before it’s time to play. Of course talking to your fellow bedmates can help, but keep in mind that most couples aren’t going to keep coming back around if they aren’t, well, cumming.© Keeva Black, 2022. All rights reserved.*****If you enjoyed this, please consider subscribing to <a href="https://kblackwrites.medium.com/subscribe">my email list</a>.While you are at it, why don’t you get yourself a Medium membership by <a href="https://medium.com/me/settings/promote-memberships">signing up through my link</a>. By doing so, you will not only receive my pieces right in your inbox, but you also help writers like me and my fellow compatriots, continue to produce quality content for Medium.</article></body>

Swinging 101: The Fight to Stay Hard

Keeping an erection is of the upmost importance in the Lifestyle

Ed Gregory — Stokpic (licensed under Creative Commons CC0 license)

You get three chances with me.

Sometimes, shit happens. Maybe you had an off day. Maybe it’s your first time. Maybe you have some anxiety. Maybe you are overwhelmed with what is happening.

The reason doesn’t matter really.

If we swing and you can’t keep an erection the best out of three times…well, in the words of the goddess Heidi Klum, “You’re out!”

Give Me What I Need

Go right ahead and call me a bitch. Tell me it’s my fault that my chosen male swing partner for that evening can’t stay hard. Go right ahead! But, you’d be wrong!

I’m a good fucking lay. When I get the green light to fuck another woman’s husband, I pull out all the stops. There’s kissing, touching, whispers in ears of things I want him to do to me, sucking cock with everything I’ve got and if we get to it — I can fuck for hours on end. I am also known for my riding skills among my group of friends.

However, in order for me to have a good time with a male sex partner, I need him to bring a stiff dick. I need him rock hard and ready to bring it. My pussy will be wet and ready, after all. I will work extra hard to get him there. I always ask what gets him turned on. I even ask his wife before the fun begins! I really am a team player in this regard.

Get Out of Your Head

95% of men that can’t stay hard while swinging can’t get out of their own heads. It’s not that they can’t get or stay hard, it’s that the big brain is saying to the little brain, “Umm, nah!”

Early on in our swinging journey, my own husband struggled with softies. The initial shock of being able to fuck another dude’s wife without being beaten up is something that takes getting used to. On top of this, you look over and see your own wife getting fucked by another man for the first time, and it’s a lot. This can effect your performance.

The best thing any man can do before swinging, is to chill the fuck out. Don’t worry about what might happen when the time comes to take your clothes off — just go with the flow of the evening. If you have concerns, talk to your fellow swingers and hash it out. You’d be surprised how common being flaccid early on in your swinging journey is — it’s okay, but don’t remain there.

Put the Work In

One of the biggest contributors of lost erections are condoms. So many of us have only had sexual intercourse with only our spouses for many years. More often than not, this is without use of a condom. When a man suddenly has to go back to wearing them as protection in the Lifestyle, it can be a tough adjustment.

This can be combated by trying out different kinds of rubbers on your own wife. Mr. Black and I experimented with many different kinds before he found one that worked for him. That way, when our play partners requested that we all play safe, he was able to do so because he had practiced with me.

If you think your issues are in your head, work to identify what is triggering you to lose your boner. For example, is seeing your wife get railed too much? Maybe separate room play could be a good option for you? Find the problem and figure it out.

Use All the Tools in Your Arsenal

Many swingers are open-minded and super understanding of any uncomfortableness that may arise during play. For men that have a hard time getting hard, they fail to realize all of the tools they have at their disposal. If you have to, have your wife get you started. Starting with your own partner is not an uncommon occurrence in the Lifestyle after all.

Okay, say you get hard, but then it starts to go limp. Why not reach over and touch your wife to see if it helps? If need be, ask her to come over and send your female play friend over to her husband for a minute. Sometimes bringing in the familiar is the best way back to pound town.

It’s also not uncommon to take medications such as Viagra before playing. Of course, this should only be done with a prescription. Additionally, lots of foreplay can help many men get hard in a slower, less aggressive way. This can also help with any anxiety that they may be feeling. Some other things that you may be able to use:

Initial Girl/Girl play — hot, right?
Have a drink or two to lighten the mood, but don’t get sloppy!
Sexy music and atmosphere — who brought the red lights?

What Not To Do

Blame your female swinger friend for your lack of an erection. Really? Do you actually want to have the chance to ever fuck her again? And let’s be honest, it’s a you problem not a her problem.
Act like a diva. Don’t ruin the fun for everyone else if you can’t get hard. Let your wife have her fun, and do whatever else you can to please your swinging partner. Get good at giving oral!
Turn the entire thing into a shit show. Don’t make a bigger deal about being flaccid than it needs to be. It is what it is. Being overly dramatic will make it even worse!

Every couple swings for different reasons. For us, we enjoy being able to have sex with other people while still being together. For me, as a woman that enjoys sex, I like to have sex with a man that can not only get hard, but stay hard. You have to remember that I’m not here because I lack sex in my life. My husband fucks me better than anyone else, but you are an added bonus to that. If you can’t bring it, then you are going to get left in the dust. I know that sounds mean, but dude, it’s the truth.

Working through erectile dysfunction in the Lifestyle is the responsibility of the man. You have to work on these issues before it’s time to play. Of course talking to your fellow bedmates can help, but keep in mind that most couples aren’t going to keep coming back around if they aren’t, well, cumming.

*****

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