The subtle signs you’re going the wrong way in life
Feel like everything is off and nothing is right anymore? It could be a subtle sign that you’re not on the right path.
by: E.B. Johnson
The world we live in is chaotic and it can be hard to figure out who you are in the midst of it all. Reality comes at us in waves, and it can drag us under with all of its emotions and the impossible weight of pressure and responsibility. How are you supposed to figure out what you want from life when you’re struggling just to keep your head above water? How do you figure out whether you’re on the right path?
The solution isn’t always an easy one, and it differs depending on the type of future you want to build for yourself. Perhaps you want to start your own company and find a way to support yourself and your family. Maybe you want a cottage on a hill and a simple way of life. Whatever you want to achieve, you have to put yourself on the right path to get there. You have to take the right risks, surround yourself with the right people, and align yourself with the right truths. Are you on the right path for ultimate happiness in your life? The answer isn’t always as cut and dry as you think.
It’s not always easy to see the path.
It’s not always easy to see the path that we’re on, especially in a storm of pain or a haze of emotional debt. It can be even trickier to envision where you need to go or what action you need to take in order to get yourself on the right path. It’s not something that happens by accident, and it’s certainly not a process that happens magically when we get into the right relationship, or hit a certain financial target.
You’ve probably heard the analogy, “It’s hard to see the forest for the trees,” and that certainly applies when it comes to that direction we chart for ourselves in life. Figuring out your purpose is hard to do when your present is jam-packed with all the responsibilities and relationships of your everyday life.
In order to get where you need to be, you have to take a conscious step back and force yourself to spend time considering what means the most to you. You don’t need to ask someone what they think, or look at the lives of the people you idolize. You need to find some time to be alone with your thoughts and your needs, and you need to make a conscious effort to understand them. Then you can take action and get serious about getting yourself on the right path in life.
Signs you’re on the wrong path in your life.
Feeling lost or numb? Feel as though you don’t know who you are anymore or what you want from life? These are just a few of the signs that you might be heading in the wrong direction when it comes to true happiness. If you want to get back on track, you need to embrace what’s going wrong so that you can put it right.
Numbing the mind (and emotions)
Do you spend a lot of time and energy numbing your experience in life? This numbing is a form of avoidance, and one which typically serves as a coping mechanism too. Rather than face up to the reality of where we are (and where we need to go) we “turn it off” by recklessly using drugs, alcohol, or a blinding train of partners who distract us from our pain (temporarily).
Constant fatigue
Are you plagued by constant fatigue or exhaustion? Is your medical history clear, but your body is struggling to go on? This sense of constant fatigue can also be inspired by your failure to put yourself on the right track. As you struggle to fit in or gain a foothold in your new community, or career. track — you wear yourself down and wear yourself thin. It’s like jumping into a pool with weighted ankle-weights on.
Nothing equals pleasure
Losing our sense of pleasure is a scary thing, but it’s increasingly common in this pressure-cooker of a world we’re living through. It’s hard to gain pleasure when there’s so much misery going around. It’s even harder when you’re fighting uphill against the pressure and expectations of others. Perhaps you’re beginning to feel hopelessness. Perhaps you feel as though you have a total lack of joy; ability to only see obstacles (not opportunities)
Keeping the wrong people
What do your social circles look like? Are you surrounded by people that love and support you no matter what? Or do they bring you down with their constant pressure or lack of respect? Surrounding yourself with those of low self-awareness can lead to serious blockages when it comes to self. We deserve to be honored by our friends, just as we would honor and respect them. We should surround ourselves with those who build us up, not tear us down.
Lack of inspiration
Where does your inspiration come from? When you need to tackle a goal or take action in your life, how do you stay motivated and focused? If the answer is, “I don’t,” you might be facing a lack of inspiration that’s forcing you to miss important opportunities. Life isn’t easy. Staying on top means finding ways to stay motivated and driven to thrive. This can’t happen until you’re doing things that are authentically aligned with your joy, desires, and needs.
Questioning existence
Do you regularly question your existence, or the steps you’re taking in life? Do you look around at your job, your friends, or even your family and think — where did I go wrong? This questioning is normal, and it doesn’t mean we love or value anyone any less. It simply means that our subconscious has identified a shift and a misalignment. We need to take a step back and take a full audit of our lives and everything within them.
Endless irritations
Failing to live in line with our truths forces us to bury our authenticity away. This conforming might feel nice for a little while, but no truth stays hidden for long. Little-by-little, the very things you don’t want to confront will begin bubbling up to the surface. One of the first signs that the dam is about to bust is a shift in mood. You might notice that everything in the world annoys you, and that life provides nothing but endless irritations. You can develop a short fuse.
Perfect people pleasing
People pleasing is a toxic way to live, but it’s a practice that many of us engage in in order to keep our friends and family in gravity. Do you constantly bend to the will of others? Do you believe that it will make them like you or love you more? These beliefs are not only false, they’re toxic, and can create off-balance relationships that suffocate us over time. When you spend your life pleasing other people, it obscures your own truths from you.
Seeking safety over happiness
Putting yourself on the right path in life isn’t always clear-cut, and it isn’t always comfortable. Growth is a painful process, and it can be risky too. We have to extend outside of ourselves and shed away the old pieces that no longer fit. If you try to avoid this discomfort — by seeking safety over your true happiness — it can lead to a break with self, and a break from the things which provide you meaning and truth.
Making little progress
Sometimes, our comfort can make it difficult to figure out where we’re at in life. Have you become so comfortable that you feel like you’re stuck? Does the world keep moving around you, changing while you stay exactly the same? When you don’t feel like you’re getting any forward motion in life, it’s often because you’ve hit a wall. When you do achieve, it comes with little joy or meaning, and you feel as though you’re forever treading water. You’re making little progress because you’ve come to a dead end…on the wrong path.
The best ways to get yourself back on track.
Do you know that you’re lost? But you have no idea how to get back on track? You don’t have to stay on the wrong path forever. You can set yourself right and get back to a true sense of purpose and fulfillment by tapping back into your authentic core, while taking action that aligns with who you are and what you want.
1. Build up your belief in self
More often than not, we allow ourselves to be waylaid and led astray because we lose faith in ourselves and our own ability to create the life of our dreams. No matter who you are or where you came from, you can find a way to get where you want to be. Rebuild your belief in self and allow this newfound belief to move you forward toward your purpose and your ultimate joy.
Focus on your self-esteem and learning to take up space for yourself in this world. Start by zeroing in on those things about yourself which you love. They can be physical features, but it’s also important to focus on your internal qualities as well. Start a journal, and on the first page list all the things you love about yourself or the things that you do well.
Get engaged in new experiences, too. Finding pastimes that you’re good at, or that you find interesting, is a great way to build up self-esteem or belief in your skills and abilities. Likewise, it’s also a great way to meet new people who hold common interests and (possibly) even similar outlooks on life. Putting yourself out there allows you to embrace just how competent and capable you are of manifesting your best life.
2. Audit your entire life
Rebuilding your self-esteem is a great first step, but it won’t solve your problem of being lost on its own. After you re-establish faith in self, you have to perform a complete audit on your life and get very real (and very honest) about what you want and don’t want from the future that you’re building.
A life audit is pretty simple — even if it sounds scary. Basically, it’s taking a complete inventory of your life and everything in it. You check in on yourself and your feelings, your relationships, and where you’re at with your family, friends, or career.
Using your new journal, take some time to write down a full audit of where you’re at in your life right now. Record everything that is working well, and everything that’s not working so well. Then, take a step back and look at what your ideal future is. What changes need to be made in order to get there? What dead weight needs to be cut in order for you to thrive.
3. Cut loose the dead weight
You can’t transform your life if you keep holding on to all the same old people, experiences, and emotions. When a plant grows, it can shed old parts of self and break away from what was as it blossoms into what is. The same goes for our lives. When things are going wrong, we have to cut loose the dead weight in order to put them right again.
Stop holding on to the people and the opportunities that no longer suit you. Stop trying to change them, fix them, or otherwise force them to become something that they aren’t. Be honest with yourself and have enough self-respect to walk away when you recognize a dead-end.
By holding on to those things which hurt us, we allow ourselves to stay stuck; chained to people and places that no longer exist, that no longer have power over us. When we cut loose the dead weight, we free up valuable real estate in our lives and open a number of wondrous doors through which we can stride into our futures.
4. Redefine your purpose and joy
If someone asked you to define your purpose in 10 seconds — could you do it? If they asked you what inspires true joy in your life, would you have to pause to consider the answer? These are two critical parts of a happy future. Establishing a purpose gives us a reason for being, and a reason for overcoming. In a similar way, our joy allows us to connect to the world and the people that we love most.
When you feel as though you’re stuck and getting nowhere with the path that you’re on, rework that path and redefine both your purpose and your joy to get back on track. Stop looking for the guidance of others and stop allowing others to tell you where your joy should lie.
You define where your happiness lies. It doesn’t matter how “strange” it is. It doesn’t matter if it fits everyone else’s idea of a perfect life, or happiness that permeates the pain. The only person you are responsible for is yourself. Everything outside of that is a conscious choice that we make. Define the course of your own life by redefining your meaning and those things which guide you.
5. Tap into your inner flame
Even if you think everything through and take all the right steps, nothing will turn out in your favor if there’s no passion behind it. You can’t simply figure out the answers and hope that life will redirect its course for you accordingly. That’s not how the world works. You have to inflame yourself with a passion that allows you to work past the inevitable setbacks and adversities.
Your inner flame is that intrinsic passion and undeniable sense of who you are that drives you or pulls you forward. It is that knowing part of self that falls in-sync whenever it’s where it’s supposed to be. When you feel that hunger or that sense of flow? That’s your inner flame sparking to life.
Find your inner flame. Cradle it and nourish it. Feed it with things you’re interested in. Feed it rewards when you get things right, or work through a particularly hard experience. Fall in love with life again and get excited about seeing where it leads you. That’s how you know you’re on the right path. That’s how you know you’re heading in the right direction. Tap into your inner flame and let it guide you when the world gets dark.
Putting it all together…
We are living in a chaotic world, and it shows few signs of slowing down. In the midst of it all, we still have to find a way to live with ourselves and we still have a way to get on the right track. Are you heading toward a future that’s authentically fulfilling and aligned with your values and goals? Or are you living someone else’s idea of reality? Getting honest and aware is the only way to ensure you’re on the right path to happiness.
Re-establish a belief in self and focus on rebuilding your self-confidence from the ground up. The greater your self-esteem, the easier it will become for you to see what you want and the actions you need to take to achieve them. Audit your entire life and be brutally honest. Who do you want to be? When you look back over the life you lived, what do you need to have accomplished? Be as radically honest with yourself as you can be. Take full stock of where you’re at and take full stock of what you possess that can get you where you need to go. Cut loose the dead weight and the people and experiences that no longer serve your higher purpose; you don’t need things that don’t bring you joy anymore. Redefine what it means to you to be human and look for those things which make your spirit fulfilled and content from the inside out. Tap into your inner flame and allow it to pull you toward the destiny that is rightfully yours.
