What to do when practice doesn’t make perfect

Though we like to think “putting in the hours” is always enough — it isn’t. This is what to do when practice doesn’t make perfect.

by: E.B. Johnson

As humans, many of us strive each day to reach some contrived sense of perfection which is based not only on our experiences, but the things that we want for and from our futures. Perfection is a loft word, and the actions it takes to reach it are even loftier. From the time we are children, we’re told that just giving our all is enough to reach these ideals, but is that the truth? Does practice really make perfect? Unfortunately, no.

Though we’ve all heard the power of the “10,000 hour” rule, there is not really any truth behind the phrase “practice makes perfect”. Perfect is a strange word, and one with different connotations and meanings to different people. What is “perfect” to one person is not exceptional to another and vice versa. Though we can become better at the skills and habits we strive to master, true perfection is something that can never be reached and that comes down to a number of factors.

A story of protestant work-ethic.

The idea that “practice makes perfect” has its roots in many different aspects of our society, and they run deep and fast right into the heart of our shared histories. In America, the charge to work hard was led by the Protestant refugees, who crashed upon the shores seeking a better life and the freedom to pursue the lives they believed in. To our ancestors, one could not succeed without having paid his deeds through hard work and consistent faith — an idea which lives on with many of us today and the ideas we form around a “just world”.

It’s not all ancient religious hokum, however. To many, it seems both practical and logical that hours of practice would lead to perfection and major success. The more time you spend doing something, the more familiar with it you become and therefore more proficient (generally). While this seems as though it would be perfectly rational, it’s really not — which can be demonstrated through the various factors that prevent us from reaching perfection (or even proficiency) no matter how hard we try.

It would be reckless to move on without also addressing at this point the definition of perfection. To our ancient ancestors, perfection looked dramatically different to the high-rise, city lifestyles many of us live today. Success and mastery are concepts that are entirely based on our perspectives, as well as the perspectives of those around us. Strive as you might to reach some ideal of perfect, you’ll never find it and that’s because there is no one hard-and-fast way to reach ultimate success. All you can do is find the life, experiences and skills that are the best fit for you and lean into them with everything you’ve got.

Why practice can’t make you perfect

Though many of us were taught something dramatically different, it’s just not possible for regular practice to make us a master in all instances. There are many factors at play when it comes to being truly good at something, and some of that, unfortunately, can come down to our natural ability or “edge”. Intelligence, upbringing and even the timeline of when you start reaching for the things you want plays a critical role in how good you are something — no matter how many hours you put in or how hard you practice.

Intelligence

Whether we like to admit it or not, our intelligence can be a real advantage when it comes to being good at something or being not-so-good at something. In 2011, researchers demonstrated that those with incredible intelligence showed higher likelihood of excelling in careers often defined as difficult (i.e. doctors, lawyers, published researchers and novelists, etc.). The time they spent perfecting their crafts were not as relevant as their overall “working memory capacity”, which still performed better compared to those of average intelligence who spent the same amount of time on similar skills.

Getting started

The brain of a child is an incredible thing, with incredible learning potential and almost limitless elasticity. When we start doing things at an early age, we give ourselves a direct advantage over those around us, and make it easier to grasp skills that we might otherwise struggle to grasp later on in life. Childhood is a critical period to learn new things — as evidenced by Mozart, who began composing symphonies at the age of 5 (alongside his equally talented sister).

Natural ability or genetics

Our natural ability has everything to do with genetics and a lot to do with how well we do (or don’t do) at something. Take for example the family of the great composer, Bach. There were more than 20 exceptional musicians in his family tree, hinting that aptitude and exceptional talent might be something that passes down through the generations. Other studies have shown that 50% — 92% of differences in skill are impacted by genetics; something which might also hint at following the power of your passions and the things which they attract you to.

The difference between habits and skills.

Before you can get better at anything, you need to determine whether what you’re seeking to improve is a habit or a skill. Habits and skills are not created equally and, likewise, you’ll need to slightly tweak the approach you use depending on what the final outcome is. Exercising is a habit, and one that many strive to improve. Learning another language, though? That’s a skill, and one that takes a slightly different approach to master.

Most of the things we seek to change in our lives are habits, which incorporate certain skills. Skills, however, often require habits to change; and both require varying levels of commitment and motivation, which keep you moving forward and striving to succeed.

With skills, you have to learn to do something new, but with a habit — you just have to regularly commit to fine-tuning something you already know how to do. Many of the things we do in our lives will be some mixture of the two, but there are times when it’s important to be clear on what we’re doing so we can better plan for action when the time comes. Once you know whether you’re trying to improve something you already know how to do — or striving to build something new in your life — you can then incorporate some simple techniques and adjust them to fit the goals and outcomes you’re working so hard to achieve.

How to get better (not perfect) at anything.

If you’ve made is this far and are now thinking, “then what’s the point”, don’t despair. Just because you can’t be “perfect” doesn’t mean you can’t be good. When you zero in on what it is you want to change or improve, you can use a few simple techniques (tweaked to your individual needs) to help yourself get closer to those ideals you keep close to your heart. By focusing, getting clear and redefining what “perfect” looks like to you, you can unlock some truly transformative growth and personal power that creates new joy in your life.

1. Be clear on your “why”

It doesn’t matter what you want to do, if you plan on becoming good at it you have to be ready to make a major time commitment. Before trying to become a master of anything, it’s important to take a step back and assess your reasons for aspiring such a goal. You have to be clear on your “why” and make sure it aligns with your authentic desires, or you’re certain to find yourself frustrated, defeated and burnt out looking for more.

Spend some time getting really clear on what you want and why. Are you looking just to do something fast? Are you trying to fill some kind of hole in your life? There’s no right or wrong answer, but there needs to be an answer before you waste your time chasing something that doesn’t align with what you want from and for yourself — now and in the future.

Find a why that energizes you, and chase that thing. If you do some digging and find that there’s no passion behind the chase, leave it. It’s not for you. Only when we get truly honest about what we want can we find the skills and experiences that add meaning and value to our lives. Before diving into the deep end, make sure you’re clear on your “whys” and the reasons behind the effort you’re about to exhert. Life is too short to be wasted on the things we don’t want to do.

2. Take away rather than add

Many of us have this extremely delusional belief that, in order to “do better” you must also be “busier”. When we’re trying to change something or learn something new, many of us find ourselves buried beneath a mile-high pile of new tasks lists which do little more than add more stress to an already stressful life. Rather than making things more difficult for ourselves when seeking to do something better or new, we should look to simplify the experience and make it as easy as possible to do successfully.

Before you throw yourself into an all-out routine change, look at what you want to do and then compare it to the schedule you already manage. Is there anything you can take away (rather than add) that would help you achieve the same goals? For example, if you’re seeking to get better at writing — instead of adding a 1 hour writing block to an already-jam-packed day, is there anything that could be dropped in order to make space for that practice?

Likewise, you can use this type of subtraction to manage the personal skills you’re seeking to develop. Bad at receiving negative feedback? Consider pulling back the narratives you build up around that feedback. Rather than focusing on taking feedback on in the current way you process it, look at what you can stop doing in order to make that invaluable process easier. Stop writing those personal storylines that equate to attacks, rather than honest and open feedback. Remove your personal stories and just take things for what they are, and don’t heap more pressure upon yourself than necessary.

3. Find who you want to be

Often, when we’re encountered with those who are achieving the success we want to have for ourselves, we can find ourselves turning or running away from further encounters or experiences with that person. They intimidate us, and they bring up all the insecurities that are festering just beneath the surface. They’re just the kind of person that can inspire us and teach us, however, so they are precise the type of person we should seek to have in our lives if we’re truly seeking to get better at some skill or facet of living.

Look for people who are living as you want to live or doing what you want to do, and get them into your circle. Surround yourself with living examples of what you can do when you decide to live life on your own terms. Find people who are more seasoned than you, or more skilled, and learn from them. Do what they do; carry yourself as they carry themselves and expect the same results.

Everything is a learning opportunity, and that goes especially for our encounters with those who are already masters of the things we seek to accomplish. There is nothing in this world that is entirely original. It has all been said and done before. Drop your need to be one-in-a-million and start being yourself by achieving the things that bring you happiness and fulfillment. Allow those that have come before lead you forward, so you can one day lead others toward the light of personal redemption.

4. Actively seek feedback

Feedback can be a double-edged sword, and there’s a fine line between giving someone genuinely helpful information and criticizing them. All life is a give and take, and that includes the information we put out into the world, and receive in turn, when attempting to master a new skill, ability or outlook. We need feedback and — when used appropriately — it can be a powerful tool in helping us hone the own sword of our personal power. Good feedback, applied appropriately, is one of the best ways to realize who we are fully, but it can be a tricky skill to master on its own.

Instead of waiting for feedback to come in (solicited or otherwise) actively seek it out and actively seek to apply it in your life. When we’re always out there looking for return information, we create feedback loops that better allow us to assess what we’re doing and how we could do it better. It’s the fertile soil for new ideas and self-actualizations, and it’s powerful fuel for pushing you forward and motivating you to keep striving for your dreams.

If you’re not used to feedback, start small; and never, ever start with something that is terribly fragile or precious to you. Lean into your support networks at this juncture and those around you who you know you can trust. Ask one person a day to give you feedback on something, and do that until it’s a process that not only becomes second-nature, but comfortable to the core. Embrace the information you receive (even when it’s negative) and don’t shy away from the uncomfortable stuff, because in that direction lies growth.

5. Build little practices

In Japan, there is a business strategy known as “Kaizen” or “Continuous Improvement”. In this strategy, all levels of a company unite to proactively achieve small, regular, incremental improvements that add to the overall happiness and success of all involved. It combines the collective talents of all involved to create an engine for opportunity and growth, a process which can be adopted when looking at the personal process as well.

As a large company in Japan changes slowly over time, so should we too strive to improve our skills, desires and outlook. Change doesn’t happen over night, and when it does it is rarely good. Truly transformative growth happens only when we chip away slowly and efficiently at the things that we seek to get better at or claim mastery over.

Just like any goal we set for ourselves, our goals and desired achievements should be SMART; meaning they should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. We don’t just wake up and change our lives. We make small changes, over time, which add up to big results. All change is a journey, and a good resolution fits into that journey in a way that allows us to move forward comfortably. Don’t set goals that require you to be uncomfortable, in pain or struggling more than you were the year before. Instead, focus on creating small, realistic resolutions that can help you transform your overall picture.

6. Get focused on the process

Some of us are goal-oriented people and that’s great. It can become crippling, however, when we start to focus only on the goal ahead and forget to focus on the process. Goals drive us and help us create the futures that we want, but they’re not truly an indication of success of failure. The true measure of success of failure is what you learn along the way, but that’s something that can only be gleamed by leaning how to focus on the process, rather than the outcome.

Drop sight of that end-result and start getting present in the right-here and right-now. Look at your overall process and the lessons that it can offer you. By learning how to focus on the spaces between the endpoints, we can become masters of our skills and emotions, rather than just spectators. When you start to consider the journey, rather than just the arrival, your perspective of success and failure changes entirely.

Stop rushing and and allow yourself to get real and present where you’re at right now. Dig into the meat of how you’re feeling in this moment, and really dig into the strengths and core abilities that can help launch you forward toward the future that you want. The middle bits of the journey are the best bits of the journey, they’re the parts that offer us the most beautiful perspectives and opportunities for growth and transformation, but we have to lose sight of our goals and start focusing on where we’re at right now.

Putting it all together…

No matter what we might have been told by our parents, practice does not equate to perfection. While working hard at something can certainly help you improve a skill or habit, factors like intelligence, genetics and starting age go a long way in determining just how good we truly end up being. If you’re looking to improve the way you reach for your goals, or just the way you approach a new skill in general — you have to learn how to commit your time and your authentic sense of self without feeling the need to be an unquestionable master. After all, the beauty is in the journey, not the destination.

If you truly want to get better at something, start first with your “why” and make sure it aligns to both who you are in this moment and the plans you have made for your future. Don’t pile on more to-do lists or endless tasks that you’ll never finish. Learn how you can take away in order to add value, and don’t overwhelm yourself when small changes and adjustments will do. Surround yourself with people who can teach you how to get to the next stage of life you’re striving for, and actively seek out the feedback that can help point you in the right direction. Life just isn’t a spectator sport. Engage with it and get focused on the process, rather than the end results alone. Even if you don’t become a master of some skill or goal you had for yourself, there’s still a million lessons you can take on board to become a better person along the way. Embrace that, and embrace that change isn’t easy…but it’s beautiful when we know how to approach it.