A PUBLIC SERVICE
Sherry Does (Did) Corporate!
Part 6: No more “rejiggering” for me
Friends, I have to begin this story by thanking you for riding along with me on this absolutely ridiculous, stress-ridden journey back to the soul-sucking cesspool that is “corporate America.”
Oh, lordy. What an awakening! I thought I could handle a four-month, full-time freelance “writing” gig for my former employer, but it turns out, I can’t. Wait. Let me restate. If given adequate time, perhaps, I could, but it appears that “adequate time” is but a quaint memory to be trotted out when burned-out, and never thought of, again.
What’s more, I refuse to relinquish four months to a company that cares so little for its employees that, in order to meet un-meetable deadlines, they give up huge chunks of their lives.
A company whose staffers work long days and weekends and holidays on projects that, if one is to be brutally honest, amount to junk mail, both hard copy and digital. Because “crap” is just that. Even the highly polished turds. I know it, and so do you. That’s why it ends up in your recycle bin or email “trash.”
As it turns out, the actual “writing” part of this gig was minimal.
Sussing out links isn’t writing. Updating multiple copies of a deck for one project isn’t writing. Taking pass after pass at a fucking e-newsletter while the creative head keeps inserting his “thoughts” that are stunningly lacking in creativity isn’t writing. Endless searches for files and documents and un-creative briefs on your junkyard of a desktop aren’t writing. Not as I knew it, anyway.
And there’s the operative word: “Knew.” Things have changed a great deal in the nearly four years I’ve been away from the agency world. Now, and even my own teammates confirmed this, it’s not about being creative. This is no “Mad Men” scenario where the “big idea” reigns supreme. Instead, our task is to be unnaturally organized. To know where every file, and link, and deck, and testimonial is buried. To understand, without question, the nuances between writing social media posts for Google and Verizon and Facebook. To be adept at noting what image goes with what post and whether they should be static or animated.
And, it must be said that I sucked at it.
I think visually. Always have as that’s part of the game. A good copywriter should have an idea of what he or she wants to see on the page or in a post and be able to articulate those pictures that will give life to the words. But, I am not an art director nor have I ever claimed to be. I don’t work in InDesign, Photoshop, or any such application. That’s why copywriters and art directors partner up so that together, they can create something that resonates with their audience.
At one point during this journey, my brain was in such a tizzy that it was damn near hilarious. Like a classic Preston Sturgis comedy where the heroine pretends to be an heiress but is in actuality, a gold-digger.
The one brainstorm that I was involved in with my two teammates, both art directors and women I’d worked with as a full-time employee, resulted in some damn good stuff. We were tasked to come up with concepts and “one-liners” for digital banners.
My mind boggles as I try to recall how many times we were sent back to the drawing board for “tweaks” that were not only subjective but made little sense.
This is to be expected when you work in the advertising and marketing arenas. Unless the creative team hits it out of the ballpark in the first inning, changes are to be expected. And, they’re coming at you from all sides, from the Creative Director, the A.S.S., and finally, after the turd has been sufficiently burnished and approved for sendoff, from the client.
But I tried to soldier on, friends, I did. Like so many of you told me, “think of the money.”
With that said, there’s a limit. I’d been working on an e-newsletter that was fraught with minefields. I had to include buttons and links and all sorts of crapola that had nothing to do with the written word.
And, it must be said that I sucked at it.
While I sweated over this piece of ca-ca, in the back of my mind were the five social media posts I had to write — like the ones I referenced earlier, with the animated this and that.
Amid all this were the incessant “pings” and meetings and chats.
And then came the email that confirmed my suspicion that THIS WAS NOT FOR ME. It was about those fucking banners that had been tweaked and retweaked to the point of no return. It was from the creative head and said something to the effect of: “With just a little more rejiggering, these should be good.”
My response: “No. No more rejiggering. In fact, I’m about rejiggered out.”
To the guy’s credit, he took it well and responded that perhaps I should do a little “rejiggering dance.”
The next morning, I quit. I “offboarded.” But, I did it with a lot more class than the agency did when they quit me.
And, because I want to end this saga on a classy note, I’d be remiss if I didn’t tell you that the team couldn’t have been more understanding. They knew that a pile of shit had been thrown at me. They got it. And, in turn, I let them know that I was grateful for all the time and effort they’d put in to ensure that I was fully acclimated and “onboarded.”
Like a divorce done right, we parted amicably and my longtime buddy and coworker who recommended me for this gig was supportive and totally awesome. And we’re still friends.
This was not an easy decision. In truth, I felt sick over it as I’m not, nor ever have been a quitter. Except when I quit smoking cigarettes thirty-something years ago. And, believe it or not, I was also concerned about letting down my friends and readers here.
Like so many of you, I love a good challenge. Obviously, or I wouldn’t be here writing on Medium, no? But this experience taught me something and I hope it helps you should you find yourself in a similar position. Kenny Rogers wasn’t talkin’ shit.
You gotta “know when to fold ‘em.”
Thanks for reading, y’all.
Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her short films have screened at The Pan African Film Festival in Cannes (awarded “best short”), the Nashville Film Festival, the Honolulu Film Festival, the Los Angeles Film School, New Filmmakers New York, and New Filmmakers Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, “The Month We Fell Apart,” a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.
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