A Stinking Attitude, But I Married Her Anyway!
It was me!
Following on from my last article, where I wrote a story of how I met my wife, winning £1,000 in the process, I promised to tell the real story, well here we go!
As I previously mentioned, I used to own a sports nutrition company. It was a retail store and also an online business. One day I was in the store looking after some online orders when a girl walked in, slammed a bit of paper on my desk and said, “you owe me money.”
I looked up to see this thin piece of skirt, with brown curly hair and a face like a smacked arse, giving me daggers asking for £5.
“Wow, who the hell are you” was my reply. It turns out I sponsored the shop manager that this girl worked £5 for “children in need,” and she had drawn the short straw to go around and ask for the money that people had pledged.
It was either not going well, or she was having a bad day. I stood up from behind my desk, with my shoulders back and my chest out, and I could see her face change.
“Right, so you are his PA then?” I thought, why not wind her up a bit, have a little fun? After all, she was a bit rude to me!
What she said next is maybe not publishable, but let us say she was not too pleased with my question.
I gave her the money, she marked down my name, took the cash turned around with her hair flowing behind her back, and she walked out of the shop, with her buttocks bouncing like bongos.
Wow, I had no other words!
Over the next few days, this girl walked past my shop a few times to get milk. At this stage, I thought she was a bit nuts. She had to walk past two shops that sold milk and bought milk from a shop opposite mine.
How strange, maybe she had a friend in that shop.
A friend of mine, John, also a security guard at the shopping centre, mentioned “Laura,” he said she was acting a bit strange and was asking questions about me. Then, just as we were getting to the exciting part, Laura walked in.
“John, how are you?” they entered as conversation, and I was blanked.
Charming, I thought, the first time she offended me, the next visit she ignored me! she left, and I shouted “Oh, goodbye then,” Laura turned around and laughed.
“She fancies you, “said John. If that was the case, then I am not picking up the signals and have no idea what goes through a woman mind. But, to my thinking, she hated me, and for no good reason either.
About a week later, as I was cashing up the daily takings, I had a knock on the shop door. I looked up to see Laura looking through the window. It had been a long hard day, and I did not want to put up with any of her S!te right now.
It was time for me to play hard and tell her to get lost, “What do you want,” I asked? I was not expecting her reply. Instead, I was shocked at what she said next.
“I need your help.” Laura went on to ask if I was passing her town (Newport) on the way home. A bit confused, I said, “well, yes, we are in Newport now, so I have to pass through it to get home. Why?”
Laura explained she had missed her bus and asked if it was not too much trouble if I could drop her off at her parent’s house.
Now, my parents brought me up well, and I know a damsel in distress when I see one, so I agreed. I finished what I was doing; as Laura looked around my shop, I locked up, and we walked to my car.
Laura started to laugh; what now I thought, she was pointing at a car, which was a Rover 75 connoisseur, my dad has a car like that one. You know what is coming next, readers, don’t you?
Yes, the car she was laughing at was mine. I only had the same car and the same colour as her dad. At the time, I was slightly gutted but played it off, saying her dad had great taste.
The drive to her parent’s house was a bit quiet. When we arrived, she just sat in the car, she did not get out, so I looked at her, “um, we are here.”
She looked at me and smiled, then said sorry for the way she had acted when we first met, explaining she had a bad day and did not want to be asking people for money etc. I got a bit lost in her eyes and then realised that she had just kissed me.
She got out of the car and did not look back into her parent’s house. I am not sure if I moved for three to four minutes out of pure shock.
Maybe I should not have been surprised the following evening when she knocked on my shop door again, claiming the bus had gone again. Now Newport is a city with buses running every fifteen minutes, and she could not have missed a bus for two days running.
I thought John must have been right, maybe this girl does like me after all, but I was unsure how I felt about this. Do I like her, I thought?
When we arrived at her parent’s house, we must have talked for maybe thirty minutes, before Laura asked me if I wanted to meet up on the weekend to watch some DVD’s. Of course, I agreed, a date it was then.
That day arrived; when I got home, I took off my uniform and chucked on a pair of old tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie, grabbed a few DVD’s and went over to Laura’s flat.
She opened the door to greet me, and I was “surprised” to see her dressed the way she was. Very tight jeans, an extremely tight top, with the most impressive pushed up bra the world has to offer.
“I thought we were going to watch DVD’s,” I asked. She welcomed me and said that yes, I had got it right, it was a DVD night.
Well, without going into too much detail, I left around 8 am the following morning, and I don’t think we ended up finishing the film. Needless to say, “the rest is history”.
This is the true story of how I met my wife.
Originally published at https://www.robertralph.blog on October 25, 2021.