Productivity/Work/Success

Your Career Success May Depend on What You Don’t Say

7 topics of conversation to keep out of the workplace

Regardless of the newly “enlightened” attitudes that supposedly inhabit the upper floors of corporate America, we’re still a country of conservative traditionalists.

Once you step over the threshold of the workplace, you’ve entered a “no-offense” conversation zone, a place with strict levels of propriety and decorum — even if they’re not specifically defined or expressed.

How do you know where to draw the line?

If the subject prompts the question, Could others find this objectionable?, you’ve just disqualified it. If you have to ask, it’s off-limits by default.

Here’s the risk . . .

By revealing your past or current participation in unconventional behavior, you may find yourself banging into an unforgiving glass ceiling — carefully installed by the HR department to limit your employer’s liability.

For example, you may think skinny-dipping in your private backyard pool is a harmless, benign activity. But your boss may find it offensive, even depraved. In general, if it’s not something you can read about in a family-friendly publication, it’s not a suitable subject for workplace conversations.

Regardless of how close your relationship is with co-workers and supervisors, there are some things you simply should not reveal.

We’ve always had two big subjects that were off the table in workplace conversations — politics and religion. And yes, it’s still a good idea to leave them out of any discussion that takes place in a professional work setting.

In addition to those two traditionally verboten topics, there are plenty of other subjects that should be avoided. While some are obvious, others may seem innocent or neutral. But all carry the potential to damage or even completely destroy your career track.

Here are 7 conversation subjects to keep to yourself:

1. Your investments and alternative income sources.

Maybe you do a little consulting work on the side, edit manuscripts on the weekends, or manage social media for an online company. Although these may be non-competitive activities done after work hours, they must remain a secret.

Your employer will consider any income producing activity as threatening competition — affecting your attention, loyalty, and dependability.

In the myopic vision of management, an employee’s dedication to their job is always compromised when they engage in alternative, money-making activities. Corporations are jealous masters and they will not knowingly share their employees’ commitment with other “distractions” — especially those that generate income.

From your employer’s perspective, your off hours should be spent recharging your physical and mental batteries so you return to work ready to perform at peak efficiency.

If your supervisor learns of your involvement in a sideline or part-time venture, she’ll blame any indication of stress, overwork, or distraction on your outside activities — even though your symptoms may be the direct result of your day job. So regardless of how innocuous your side-gig is, keep it to yourself.

2. Never express dissatisfaction about your job, compensation, company policy, or program.

Occasional disappointment and frustration is part of every employee’s experience. It comes with the territory.

In short, you’re paid to support and carry out the instructions of your superiors, whether you agree with them or not. That’s why it’s called a job — you trade your time, energy, and effort in exchange for compensation you can use to invest in your personal success. Occasionally, it’s not pretty or pleasant. But it’s a fact of corporate life. And once in a while, you’ll need to follow instructions you don’t agree with — without complaining.

For example, you may think you’re occasionally entitled to curse, vent, or blow off steam. But the result will hurt you. It’s the fastest way to lose your reputation as a professional.

Make it a point to have others see you as cool and collected under fire. Just because the conversation turns heated or you’re put under pressure, it’s no excuse for revealing a volatile temper or demonstrating behavior you’ll later regret.

3. Negative comments or innuendo about other employees.

Never state, suggest, or repeat anything negative about another company employee. The moment it leaves your lips, it’s out there — a loose missile no longer under your control — and you never know when it will circle back and blow up in your face.

Making verbal attacks and derogatory statements about others — even when they’re true — makes you appear fearful and emotionally immature. Make a habit of dismissing the stupid or childish behavior and comments of others. It demonstrates you’re operating on a much higher level and, in fact, have the capacity to handle much more intensive and serious situations.

If you’re going to say something about someone, make sure it’s positive, related to the workplace, and has nothing to do with their appearance, personal life, choice of spouse or partner, sexual orientation, after-work activities, financial status, religious or political affiliation, or shows preference over someone else.

I know that’s quite a list, but each of those subjects has the potential to damage your career or — in a worst case situation — end any chance of future success with your employer.

In short, negative comments are a huge liability. They can not only keep you from being promoted, they can guarantee you a place at the top of the list for termination when the next wave of layoffs or downsizing hits.

4. Anything having to do with alternative social or sexual behavior.

Keeping this subject out of your work conversations should be obvious. But it often rears its ugly head after a three vodka martini lunch or during a work-sponsored social function. Don’t know what I’m talking about?

In plain English, if you want to avoid being judged as corrupt, warped, perverted, or depraved, don’t share the fact that you attended the Hookers Ball in San Francisco, the adult entertainment award show in Las Vegas, Fantasy Fest in Key West, or any other event that suggests you participate in “unconventional” behavior.

Trying to rationalize your attendance at an alternative event by claiming you only observe and never participate will not excuse your intentional introduction of an off-limit subject into a workplace conversation.

This also applies to what we’ll call “indiscretions” from your past. While you may think less-than-squeaky-clean behavior from years ago will be excused as innocent fallout from youthful imprudence, others who hear it may not be so forgiving.

And if management gets wind of it, they may assume that just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re immune from using the same reckless, irresponsible logic when making an important work decision.

So while you may be tempted to tell everyone at the Christmas party about your stint as a stripper to pay for college, your participation in a drunken brawl at the frat house, or how you always smoked a joint before physics class — don’t do it.

Just follow the basic rule of respectable disclosure: If there’s the slightest question about the subject being appropriate for the situation and audience, keep it to yourself.

5. Personal health problems.

With the exception of a rare case of the sniffles, you should project the image of perfect health and, yes, that includes maintaining a healthy weight.

Although health issues may create an occasional challenge for you, talking about it at work can suggest the possibility of a future absence. And that’s especially true if your problem is chronic or re-occurring. Smoking, overeating, and excessive drinking are liabilities — and we all know how employers feel about liabilities.

6. Any thoughts or plans you may have to leave your job.

This includes nebulous fantasies you know will never become a reality. Others — your co-workers, supervisors, vendors, and customers — should see you as a motivated and focused professional who handles their responsibilities with a minimum of distractions.

Even if you have a strong, positive relationship with your manager and believe your boss would be supportive of your plans to find a better paying position or even start your own company, always keep your mouth shut until you’re ready to leave.

Companies seldom applaud an employee’s efforts to better themselves — unless the company stands to benefit from the change or transition.

7. Fraternal and professional organizations not directly affiliated with your company or profession.

This last category may not seem as potentially volatile as the others. But I’ve seen it become a conflict — one that can grow large enough for management to issue an ultimatum: Either terminate your membership with what they view as an incompatible organization or seek other employment.

Unless there’s a definite advantage in disclosing your association with a fraternal or professional organization (for example, because your supervisor or a member of senior management is also a member), you’re better off not mentioning it.

Even though the purpose of many fraternal groups is primarily altruistic, the majority of companies will consider your affiliation with any club, charity, alliance, or organized group as — you guessed it — a career distraction.

Management wants you to spend your productive efforts exclusively on their behalf.

Revealing your association with a fraternal organization may cause a supervisor to wonder if . . .

• While you’re at work, are you distracted by the bake sale you’re organizing that weekend at the Elks Lodge?
• How often will your responsibilities as a Mason take priority over your job?
• Are you using company time and resources to make phone calls, produce copies, or sort your mailing list for non-work related activities?

There is one reasonably safe exception. And that’s any organization having a religious connotation. Your church affiliation is usually hands off. One reason is most services and meetings take place on Sunday — a day that doesn’t exist on the corporate calendar.

But keep in mind you’ll still be expected to give up the occasional weekend when company travel is required.

Here’s the Bottom Line

With the current trend of work-life integration quickly replacing the more traditional concept of separating our work from our private lives, employees are feeling a greater degree of freedom to share personal and even intimate details with their co-workers.

But this can easily backfire, especially when the conversation touches on controversial subjects or a topic with subjective ethical or moral implications.

Don’t jeopardize your career by falling below the standard of professional conduct expected by your employer.

Even if such a standard isn’t formally stated or defined, it definitely exists. And your efforts to set an example will go a long way in keeping your name off the list of employees who are eventually terminated or “managed out.”

© 2020 Roger A. Reid — All Rights Reserved.

Listen to the podcast of this article at Success Point 360

Roger A. Reid is the author of Better Mondays: The New Rules for Creating Financial Success and Personal Freedom (While Working for the Man)

Roger A. Reid, Ph.D. is the host of Success Point 360 Podcast and author of Better Mondays and Speak Up. A certified NLP trainer with degrees in engineering and business, Roger offers tips and strategies for achieving higher levels of career success and personal fulfillment in the real world.