Rock Out Fast
Rocking Takes No Time at All With These 2 Minute Wonders
23 songs in just over 60 minutes
Sometimes when I’m working on projects, or mowing the lawn, or tending the garden, or taking a walk, I tell my wife Mary Jane that “I’ll be right back.”
Two hours later, or three hours, later, I’m either tied up in tomatoes or swallowed whole while walking to a Moby Dick Mix — diving forty fathoms into a Sea of Sound.
Then, I’m like, “Sorry, babe! The jams kept me moving!”
The solution? Create a playlist of songs that start fast and end fast — and just totally rock — the way Jack Black would insist as the teacher in The School of Rock.
I wanted to curate as many rockers within an hour as possible — as a way of keeping time. As a mix, too, the songs had to seamlessly flow from one to another. In any order. No ballads here. A song may eventually “rock,” like “Funeral for a Friend” from Elton John or “Tusk” from Fleetwood Mac, but I had to cut it if it started too slow.
I had some songs that I loved, songs from Elvis and “Summertime Blues” from Eddie Cochran, and even “Wipeout” from The Surfaris, but these songs did not hold up in mood and tone with the others. It broke my heart to cut Cream for length, REM for tone, The Hives, too, for mood, and New Order because that band already has Substance, and that’s enough, right?
Plus, I also thought: Is this song straight-ahead, no-nonsense, kick-ass rock? Heavy guitar — pounding drums — deep layers of bass — and vocal angst and urgency?
Some albums are already perfect for this: the first album from The Clash, any record from the Ramones, and Green Day’s Dokie. Yes — that album is twenty-seven years old. It came out when I met my wife, Mary Jane, in 1994. Crazy.
I originally axed any song that was over three minutes. Since some songs clocked in just over two minutes, I adjusted that rule.
I asked several music experts to weigh in; my college radio producer and DJ daughter, Nancy, my hip grad-school-rocket-scientist daughter, Madeline, and her muse, and a fellow lover of Muse and bass player, her boyfriend of four years, Brian. He sadly said Muse had to move, dispute his absolute love of the band to make way for Queen. I agreed.
Last week, my wife Mary Jane and I sat by the fire, sipping ‘dank’ and ‘hazy’ craft beers, and I wanted her advice. She is my muse. She loved I had Michael Jackson until she realized it was a cover by Alien Ant Farm.
“You know I love Michael Jackson,” I said, “but his song was too long, and this version rocks more.” She just shook her head, and then did a thumbs down, too, on The Sex Pistols. For a few songs, she used the skip option.
“It’s just too angry,” she said.
“But sometimes you need that anger of youth,” I replied.
We just agreed to disagree and clicked our pints of Tonewood’s “All in Time.”
My friend from high school, Brad, who lives in Dallas, said, “What? No Aerosmith?” That’s true, but what would I take off? “Maybe I’ll make one of these mixes, and you can write about it,” he texted me. “Yeah — sounds great!”
What song should have made this list? What song did I miss? Readers, any suggestions for Kick Out the Jams, Vol. 2?
This list can be played in any order. It will make painting the powder room or washing the dishes or walking the husband evaporate in record time — an hour — and all the while, you’re rocking.
1. “Traveling Band” by Creedence Clearwater Revival (1970)
This song was first for a reason. My father rocked to Creedence on 8-track in his fire-red Ford Torino. It was 1971. He would raise the volume on this song, and my mom would lower the volume.
We were on our way to his boat. Like a 737 jet, this song takes off — and never lands. Fogerty’s second lead at 1:26 just lifts me to air-guitar heaven. Doug Clifford on drums, especially at the end, keeps the beat rocking for all its two minutes. You may need to hit repeat several times. Yeah, Fogerty — “Wow!” is right. Here’s a cool live version.
I like to think my first sentence was “Play it louwder, Da-da!”
2. “Break on Through (To The Other Side)” by The Doors (January 1967)
My fellow Doors buddy, daughter Nancy, thought this song was too easy. Yes, it was short. Yes, it’s the first song on their debut album in that first month of The Year of Love — 1967, and yes, it only reached 126 on the Billboard charts. That’s hard to believe, right?
But the song means so much to me. Like Jim Morrison and Aldous Huxley, I wanted to break through the anger and the barriers in my life — bashing those “Doors of Perception” and “Gate Keepers.”
What was on that other side? Love? My wife? A publisher? God? All without the use of mind-altering drugs or Vision Quests, high on peyote. Have I broken on through? Almost. Therapy helps. This song helps. Rocking helps. You may need to hit repeat — which defeats the purpose of the “hour” clock.
I also love the scene in the film when Robby Krieger lays down the beat. He said Elmore James in “Shake Your Money Maker” inspired the classic riff.
When I was in Paris, of course, I wanted to pay homage to him at his grave — and that crazy 27 Club. So I did. My daughter Nancy wanted the Doors film on DVD for Christmas. God, I love her.
3. “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin (1970)
My Uncle Ron, the Rock God of my Youth, said he was stunned when Zeppelin III came out in 1970. After such an über-classic rocker as “Immigrant Song,” the rest of the album meanders in folk-rock and whimsy and borrowed-stolen-appropriated blues. It’s a good album, but nothing makes us feel like warriors, right, when this song is that raw and loud.
In high school, as a freshman, the football squad called me “Led Head” — and there was no greater epithet than that from cool seniors.
It’s a classic scene in “The School of Rock.” Heck, even my high school students know this one. They love it when I play it for the “Song of the Day.” Robert Plant channels his inner Mystic Banshee, awash in the lore of Tolkien and tale Nordic. John Bonham, once again, blisters on the sheepskins. I love when the song stops at 0:52, and then picks up immediately — enough for a half a comma. This happens again at 1:39. Such a great hook.
An awesome live version can be viewed here. It was filmed in Sydney on 2/27.72. It may be even better than the studio version. Why — it’s longer, and like, Bonham’s fills and Page’s solo. Duh. As the YouTube poster said: “Badass is an understatement.”
You can thank me later. When I shared the list with my Uncle Ron, he said, “Neat list!” That’s always a winning endorsement from a Rock God of Youth.
4. “Blitzkrieg Bop” by The Ramones (January 1976)
“I went to a Ramones concert. I’m exhausted.” “How was it?” “Great!” “How long was it?” “Forty minutes. They played twenty, songs, man!”
I have fond memories of my daughter Nancy singing lead vocal on Guitar Hero on the Wii. She was only seven or eight. It’s on video. My wife was playing lead guitar, and Madeline — only ten — was pounding away on the drum kit. It was so much fun. And as a family, we used to being “all revved up and ready to go.” It was hard, though, because every song from The Ramones could fit on this mix. I was in heaven.
Curate your own Ramones Mix, and man, you’ll need to be sedated soon.
5. “Janie Jones” by The Clash (April 1977)
Can we please have social activism back in our music?
This is the first song on the eponymous debut album of The Clash — the Only Band That Matters. I debated so many songs from this band. Hands down: they’re one of my all-time favs. I never tire of them. This whole album rocks from start to finish.
When I spotted this album at my girlfriend’s apartment — who wasn’t my wife yet, I was like, “You like The Clash?” I knew it must be love. If you only know two of their hits from the 80s, thanks to Stranger Things, go back to 1977 and listen to this album from beginning to end.
Then, listen to the entire two album super monster of London Calling. Rolling Stone said this was the best album of the 1980s. And they’re right. I have it on vinyl and CD. I would have a tat of it too, if possible. The Clash is the ultimate punk band who does so much than punk: ska, reggae, so many styles — and what majesty of lyrics and social activism.
Check out the lyrics here. You may be surprised what the song concerns. Sometimes it’s better to keep singing what’s in your ‘ead.
Even at two and fifty, I try to emulate the attitude and youthful rebellion of The Clash. And it’s only 2:01 minutes. Listen carefully to the wild, wicked blizzard bassline from Paul Simonon. Amazing. Here’s a young bassist playing the licks. Here’s the band Against Me covering the song. It’s fun. You want to see a band sweat, here’s a live Clash recording.
6. “The Ace of Spades” by Motörhead (1980)
I came to Motörhead late. It was the death of Lemmy on December 28, 2015, that caught my attention of the band. Sad to say, but many things get us to places, right? His real name was Ian Fraser Kilmister. This song has so much Sturm und Drang — German for “storm and stress.” It provides adrenaline. It’s classic metal and nothing like the “phony” metal that will, unfortunately, arrive in the ‘80s with “W” bands like Whitesnake, Winger, Warrant, W.A.S.P, White Lion, White Great, White Hair Long, The Winter Warlucks, and Wef Weppard.
7. “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett & The Blackhearts (1981)
My wife remembered at Penn State when Joan Jett was playing, and some ass threw a bottle at Jett from the audience, and she walked off and never came back. “Were you upset?” I asked Mary Jane. “Yeah, but I don’t blame her.”
My friend and music sensei Alec commented that “it is possible that no song ever made more out of one chord than ‘Bad Reputation.’” On our Kerouac On the Road trip out West when we were young, we had mixtapes of Rock’s Greatest Hits, Volumes I-X. That’s a story for another time.
The song, especially the video, is campy as all hell, but it rocks. Women who rock always win me over — except Heart. Sorry. Heck, I even don’t mind The Go-Gos. Sorry, again. Although Heart did do a bang-up job covering Zeppelin’s “Stairway to Heaven.” This song has a valid theme: I don’t a shit what you think of me. I gonna do me, okay?
8. “Rip This Joint” by The Rolling Stones (1972)
I recall playing this song at full volume in my Nissan 200SX as I commuted to college in New Jersey. Since I got to the parking lot early, I just played this song over and over, jamming like Jagger. Classmates passing me must have thought, “Another crazed commuter dude. So sad.”
The Stones are all about the dirty blues, but to pick one that rips from the beginning and ends quickly — well — that’s tough. And the early stuff is great, but the tone and mood had to be sustained.
“Let’s Spend the Night Together” is great, as is any song from The Beatles, except “Mr. Moonlight” or “Revolution 9” — and it’s sad I don’t have any Beatles on here. “Helter Skelter” is too long — and “Back in the USSR” almost made it, but The Beatles have enough of the limelight already? My mix from them contains almost every song — except the two aforementioned.
9. “You Really Got Me” by The Kinks (1964)
The Kinks: the Most Underrated Great Band of All Time? Can you think of another one? Think of those classic riffs — still better than anything Van Halen tried to do, right? Think of the social commentary, the wit, and the hooks. It’s sad it’s “Lola” everyone knows, and not “Dedicated Follower of Fashion” and “Sunday Afternoon” and so many others. This song still kicks ass.
I’m not sure why The Kinks never made it as far as The Who or The Stones. But come on, people. Dig deeper, here. And I’m writing that by putting on the single that put them on the rock map — and some a Greatest Hits album. I’ve always mocked people who only had a “Greatest Hits” from a band. Am I guilty here? Yes — so mock away!
The Kinks were rocking harder than anyone, I think, in 1964.
10. “Blister in the Sun” by The Violent Femmes (1983)
This album was huge when I was in high school. My buddy Dan got me into them during our senior year in 1987. I was reluctant to give up the Rock Gods of the 60s and 70s, and I always mocked music from the 1980s — the decade I “came of age.” But I bought this on vinyl several years back. It’s so much fun. My girls also love it. It doesn’t “rock” like The Who or Zeppelin in the traditional sense, but it pumps me up, and I needed some 80s music, right? Thanks, Dan!
11. “One Way or Another” by Blondie
This always makes “The Great Gatsby playlist” of love-obsessed boneheads. So many songs work on this theme: “The Distance” from Cake. “Every Breath You Take” from The Police. “Bargain” from The Who. But this song from Blondie just has so much zest. It’s that bouncy, New Age-New York, late disco, early 80s sound that still works. The lyrics scare me more than Alanis Morrissette — and if you’ve ever seen the film Fatal Attraction — I think Blondie truly means one way or the other — dead or alive.
12. “Heartbreaker” by Pat Benatar (1979)
My wife dressed as Pat Benatar — or like her roommate, I’m not sure — at Penn State for Halloween one year. When I saw her picture when we were dating, I was like Borat — “Wa Wa Wee Wa.” How did I know a Borat impression then?
With Mary Jane and my daughters, they have been awesome at pulling me off the testosterone train and getting me to like more female artists — like Haim and Lorde and so many others.
Mary Jane has a Mary Jane Girls album, and she wanted that up on my Rock and Roll Album Wall of Fame. Could The Mary Jane Girls be actually next to Born to Run from Bruce? I was a douche-bag, then. Then? I hope I’m not now. It’s half her house. Why not get half the wall? Now the wall is a World Map.
I like asking my wife if I’m still “The right type of sinner that brings our her inner fantasies,” and she says, “Ah, yeah — wait? Still?” Let’s just say it’s been an amazing twenty-six years of marriage — just saying.
I think God gave me daughters for a reason. Late in the writing of this mix, Pat Benatar knocked off blink-182’s “All the Small Things.” Sorry, blink.
My friend Brad from Dallas thought “Hell is for Children” was a better song, but after a careful listen, you know — it just doesn’t rock at the gun. A good song — but unlike ‘Nam, man — this list has rules!” Clap for yourself if you got that allusion!
13. “Just a Girl” from No Doubt (1995)
After all of these years, and longer than three minutes, the song still keeps my attention. This came out in 1995 — amazing, too, how time flies. I think I like “Spiderweb” better, but “Just a Girl” works better here. Gwen Stefani in her younger, more vulnerable years, right? The lyrics work well, too, when we study women’s literature in my class.
“Oh, I’m just a girl, living in captivity Your rule of thumb makes me worrisome Oh, I’m just a girl, what’s my destiny? What I’ve succumbed to is making me numb”
14. “I Need to Know” by Tom Petty (1978)
Tom Petty’s death on October 2, 2017, was tough, right? This peaked on the charts at #41 and it was the first single from Petty’s 2nd album. His “Damn the Torpedoes” in 1979 would solidify his growing reputation. Something from Petty had to be on the list, and I had like two minutes — and this really fits the bill.
When you need just a little Petty, this is great to jam out to — and don’t we all need to know stuff? Like after a few dates with my girlfriend, Mary Jane, I needed to know if she was still dating — you know — other guys. She said she was on one or two “other” dates. What? That’s when I said I wanted to be “mutually exclusive.” I need to know — I need to know! It all worked out. And Mary Jane had plenty of Petty in her album collection — not to be judgy.
15. “Smooth Criminal” by Alien Ant Farm (2001)
I’m not sure how I found this song. I knew the Michael Jackson song — and I really like that song. I know nothing about any other Alien Ant Farm song. And for this, I feel weird putting it on the mix. But the song works well, and I generally never get bored with it. It speeds up the Jackson song quite a bit — and the guitars are amped up, too. It’s a great cover.
I didn’t know this but it was featured in American Pie 2. Full Confession: I never saw the original American Pie, but I’ve heard enough about it to have seen it. For this, you may deduct claps from me.
16. “She” by Green Day (1994)
Another tough band for the “one song” to place on such a mix. It’s insane that this album came out in 1994. It still seems fresh and fun and forward. It was around this time, too, that I was finally getting beyond “Classic Rock Syndrome.” You know what I mean, right? Going to school in England in 1990, and then coming back with all these new British bands definitely helped broaden my outlook. My family agreed that “She” was a good pick. Here’s the band in 2011 performing “She.”
17. “God Save the Queen” by The Sex Pistols (1977)
I would go insane on a daily diet of The Sex Pistols. One cannot question the influence of the band — a solid great one album — as if Green Day only made “Dokie,” and when I’m in the mood — this album can make a bad day better by releasing built-up tension and anger.
My wife says it makes her angry, and that’s okay. I see that. I had a friend whose therapist told him to stop listening to bands like this: it wasn’t good for him. I don’t know. Don’t we need to release our own shit-kicker, bad mother fucker sometimes? Is there a “no” to that question? I will admit: they are a bit of a one-trick pony, unlike The Clash. Have I raved about the Clash enough, folks?
18. “Stone Cold Crazy” by Queen (1974)
“We Will Work You” was a little too obvious. Plus, “We Are the Champions” that follows just wouldn't be right for the mix. I could have added the Metallica cover, but that drives me totally nutzoid. “Don’t Stop Me Now” almost made it — but again — too long. My daughter’s boyfriend Brian mentioned this song from Queen. I had forgotten it — but man does it fit. We were sad to take off Muse — but it just didn’t work that well with the rest of the songs. Brad from Dallas loved the choice. Yeah! Claps for Brad!
19. “Fell in Love With a Girl” by The White Stripes (2002)
There was major disagreement on what song to select from so many major awesome rockers from Jack White and drummer Meg White. “Black Math?” “Hotel Yoruba?” “Icky Thump? “Blue Orchid?” “Astro?” I mean, I have all their albums, most on vinyl — all on CD — and “Fell in Love With a Girl” was my first choice. It’s off White Blood Cells — their third album from 2001.
After much debate with my daughters, I brought it back, after taking it off a few times. It’s also so short. It has all the requirements for the mix: loud, fast outta the gate — and quick. If you’ve never seen “It Might Get Loud,” a docu-chat-mentary from 2009 with The Edge from U2, Jimmy Page, and Jack White — you better see it, especially if you like this mix.
Here is what a real rock critic said of the song:
Comparing it to that of the Ramones, Tom Maginnis from AllMusic called the single, “an attention-grabbing chunk of primal punk rock confection that flames out in a breathless one minute and 50 seconds. … Surrendering is the only option; to fight against the infectious brutal and relentless energy of “Fell in Love With a Girl” is an exercise in futility.”
20. “Fire” by Jimi Hendrix (1967)
Toxic Male Warning Alert. That should be on many of these songs, btw. I thought I learned all I needed to know about women through rock and roll, but boy, do these Rock Gods. “Squeeze Box” is the biggest lie of them all. Do you hear that, Pete? I found that out after I was married.
But who cares, right? This entire album is 1967 all over. Through sheer oversight and a momentary lapse of reason, it almost didn’t make the mix. Thank God it’s here. When my wife is making dinner, and I want to stand next to her fire, she punches me in the nutsack. Well, almost. What do Rock Gods know anyway?
21. “Paranoid” by Black Sabbath (1970)
Ozzy Osbourne and Pink Floyd — two legends that I use when talking about madness and insanity in the amazing poetry of Emily Dickinson. Yeah, I coach English. “Crazy Train” is too long. And Floyd? Oh, boy, I tried to find something that would work. “Run Like Hell.” No. And ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that would work for this mix from “Animals” or “Wish You Were Here.”
Prog Rock is not well represented here — but Floyd is one of those bands that still stand the test of time, unlike Yes. Sorry. But “Paranoid” easily knocked off AC/DC’s “TNT.” My girls balked at AC/DC. Are they really that good?
Full confession: I do not own any AC/DC or Black Sabbath albums or CDs. That’s why I love Spotify. Also: no Van Halen, George “No Good” George Thorogood, or Bob Seger.
22. “Grown so Ugly” by The Black Keys (2004)
I originally had “Howlin’ For You.” My amazing wife and I had a nice disagreement by the outside fire about this song. It’s about male urges, I guess. Why don’t women want to be howled over life some wolf after Little Red Riding Hood?
But my daughter, Nancy, said it should be something from Rubber Factory, our first entree to the glories of the Black Keys — and a band she started listening to while still in a booster seat. It’s my favorite album of theirs. This is just one of the so many great ones: rocks at the gun, heavy, dirty, bluesy, and pounding, with enough valleys that the mountains seem glorious once the guitars and the drums move us to the heavens.
If you’ve never seen the video for “Tighten Up,” check it out. It’s hilarious. Oh, those silly, toxic males.
23. “The Real Me” by The Who (1973)
This one was tough. “The Punk Meets the Godfather?” Too long. And really — out of context from the concept album. “The Real Me” is fine as a stand-lone single. If you want to know if I’m a mod or a rocker, I’m actually a mocker. And give yourself 50 claps for knowing that reference.
The song that inspired Paul McCartney to write his own hard rocker, “Helter Skelter,” The Who’s early smash hit, “I Can See for Miles” is amazing, a word, I have now used thirty times, but it’s longer than I wanted. “My Generation?” “Who Are You?” The whole album of “Who’s Next?”
I even had “Summertime Blues — Live from Leeds” on here for the longest time — but after a few listens, “The Real Me” worked better. It’s a song many of us like because don’t we want the world to see the “real us” — and not that label from family and high school? Sorry — I’m getting too Psych 101 here — and so I’ll stop.
Listen carefully to the bass on this song: John Entwistle is a Freak of Nature.
I listened to this mix numerous times as I wrote this — just to double-check. Of course, feel free to substitute your own short jam. Music is like a buffet — something for everyone, right? Thanks for indulging in my Teenage-Moonage Daydream of writing about rock and roll. Hey — I think I forgot Bowie! WTH — What the heck?
Thanks for reading! Follow me on Medium Walter Bowne
