QueerlyTrans Dating Life

Summary

The author reflects on their past dating experiences, realizing that their attractions and relationships were unsatisfying due to a lack of awareness about their own genderqueer and non-binary identity, and expresses anticipation and apprehension about future dating prospects as they transition.

Abstract

The article delves into the author's personal journey of self-discovery in terms of their gender identity and how this has impacted their dating life. Initially, the author felt a disconnect in their relationships, particularly with cisgender heterosexual (cishet) men, including their ex-husband. This disconnect was a result of the author's unrealized genderqueer and non-binary identity. The realization came after observing the relationships of their gay male friends, which evoked feelings of envy and incompleteness. Now, as the author embarks on a transition with testosterone therapy, they are both excited and fearful about the potential changes in their dating life and the new romantic opportunities that may arise.

Opinions

The author believes that their past dating dissatisfactions were due to dating the "wrong sexuality" rather than the "wrong people," implying a mismatch in the alignment of their gender identity with that of their partners.
There is a sense of longing for the type of relationships the author sees among gay men, suggesting a desire for a connection that resonates with their genderqueer and non-binary identity.
The author acknowledges a history of attractions to cishet men but emphasizes that these relationships lacked a certain depth or fulfillment.
With the transition process underway, the author expresses a mix of excitement and trepidation about the future of their dating life, indicating a significant shift in how they may be perceived and received by potential partners.
The author's mention of their ex-husband and the attractions they've experienced hints at a complex history with their own sexuality and the process of reconciling their attractions with their gender identity.

I wasn’t just dating the wrong people, I was dating the wrong sexuality

OMG, dating! Just the thought makes me cringe. But it hits a little differently now because I’ve worked out what was missing. It was never them, it was totally me. Well, it was mostly them but it’s because I wasn’t aware of myself. Surprise, surprise. And I don’t just mean that mentally or psychologically — I mean — my freakin’ gender!

When I finally embraced my genderqueerness in all its trans-masc and non-binary glory, I realized that for the longest time, I’ve longed for the kind of relationships I see between gay men. Watching my gay male friends (so many of them) date, build relationships, and fall in love always left me jealous and a little empty.

All the while, I was looking at cishet men (including my ex-husband — oops) and sighing with disappointment. Don’t get me wrong, I have some great cishet male friends and I’ve had attractions and had my share of… well, you know… but the attraction just never hit the same.

Now that I’m on T and thinking ahead to how I myself may present in a few months to years, I’m exciting (and lowkey terrified) of what the dating world may open up to me.

It’s certainly an interesting ride.

TRANSGENDER

QueerlyTrans Dating Life

I wasn’t just dating the wrong people, I was dating the wrong sexuality

Trans-Identity Gatekeepers Will be Blocked

Why I have zero tolerance

About Me — KP-the-Writer

Podcaster, writer, and queer, oh my