BOO!
Pumpkin Spice Your Articles! Halloween Is Coming
Are you scared yet?
If there’s one thing I learned in my seven hundred years of writing on Medium, it’s to surf a wave when I see one.
- Remember when Will slapped Chris? I was there: Let’s All Write about Will Smith.
- Or when newspapers talked about Monkeypox for the first time? I was there too! The Monkeypox Plague Is Coming, and It’s Scary.
I have countless more examples, but my goal today isn’t to BRAG. It’s to share with you my secret technique.
I want you to succeed in your Medium adventures.
A few words on the waves
Sometimes they are short-lived. You need to be fast to catch them. => Example: the death of Queen Elizabeth II.
Other waves are longer, and you can take your time. Or even write multiple articles about them. => For example, sadly: the war in Ukraine.
Be careful! These waves can be hard to surf as they require experience.
For beginners, the best waves are coming back every year
Christmas, Valentine’s, and Thanksgiving — to name a few.
- There’s plenty of time to prepare for them
- You can repurpose your articles from one year to the other
- And for once, you’ll know what you’re talking about
Let’s take the example of Halloween
Your first instinct is to write a so-called direct article:
- 5 Ways to Make Halloween Fun Again
- Four Signs a Person is Secretly Unhappy with Halloween
- Why is Halloween Such a Cringefest
This works, but there’s much better.
Take your favorite topic and add some pumpkin spice. It will taste like Halloween but with deeper meaning and reach than the basic “direct articles.”
Let’s take three examples coming from top writers on this platform.
#1 — Reuben Salsa and the penis of Keanu Reeves
Keanu’s schlong is Reuben’s favorite topic. He wrote a viral article titled, “I Saw the Penis of Keanu Reeves.”
For Halloween, Reuben could write a follow-up titled, “The Penis of Keanu Reeves Tastes Like Pumpkin Spice.” Or, he could be gross and tell us how “Keanu Reeves’ Pumpkins are Full of Yummy Spice Juice,” but that’s not his style.
#2 — Mike Knittel and Jordan Peterson
Mike got famously trashed in the comments of his article, “Jordan Peterson Is Right!” Halloween is his chance to redeem himself.
My advice? Write an article titled, “Sorry. Not Tasty. And No Amount of Pumpkin Spiced Venti Lattes Is Going to Change That.”
#3 — Patrick Metzgermetzger and Mar-A-Lago
Patrick is a great surfer and a Trump specialist. His latest article, “Memo To All Housekeeping, Kitchen, and Dining Room Staff At Mar-A-Lago” got extremely popular.
He could easily double-down on this success and write something like, “No More Pumpkin Spice at Mar-A-Lago, Trump Used It All to Dye His Hair.”
But can you really write about anything with a Halloween twist?
Yes. Of course, yes.
Here are more examples to titillate your taste buds. I took the titles from Medium’s trending section.
- Python 3.14 will be faster than C++ on Pumpkin Spice
- Patagonia is Accelerating the End of Democracy and Pumpkin Spice
- Why the World is Giving Up on Freedom and Pumpkin Spice
See? Adding “pumpkin spice” made all these articles Halloween-compliant without altering their general meaning.
Happy Halloween!
That’s a wrap, people.
I hope you got inspired to make your upcoming articles more Halloween-friendly. If you’re lucky, you might earn enough to pay for a pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks.
Good luck!
This article is sponsored by Evan Wildstein. Read his stories!