Let’s All Write about Will Smith

We, online writers, are always ready to give our unwanted opinion on any topic. The trendier, the better.
After all, we’re here for the money.
During the last weeks, you thought we had given all we had with our articles about the war in Ukraine. You thought world peace being at risk was the ultimate topic for online writers. You thought nothing would ever top that.
You were wrong.
(Pretty sure you’re facepalming right now. If not, you can always ask Will Smith to help.)
We’re at our best when a movie star slaps another one on stage
YES! That’s what makes us run to our keyboards and start typing like crazy woodpeckers. We will talk about this for YEARS.
You can count on us to give you all the options:
- Will Smith hit Chris Rock and that’s okay
- Will Smith Slapped Chris Rock at the Oscars — Will was Wrong
Plot twist: we don’t care. We’re just covering all the possible angles to maximize audience coverage.
Would you prefer a racial perspective?
I’ve got you: Dear White People: Shut Up About Will Smith
Politics?
No problem. Here you go: Will Smith joins Donald Trump as Power Out of Control
Don’t worry; the Joe Biden piece is currently being “reviewed” by an editor and will be published in a minute.
You’re not remotely related to the events but still feel like this should be about you?
Of course. This one’s for you: Stop Blaming Will Smith for what YOU did
Seriously, we have all the angles you want
Just ask. Actually, you don’t even have to ask; we will cover the topic either way.
Who knows? We could get viral!
How far are we ready to go?
Hmmm, I thought we had settled this during the last weeks. The answer is obviously: NO LIMIT.
Believe it or not, we’re even ready to go all meta about it and pretend we’re above the other writers by making fun of them and their titles.
It will be a bit sloppy because we didn’t have time to proofread or anything like that. But does it matter?
Nope.
What matters is timing.
You can’t publish a good meta article right away.
You need to wait. First, you see the shitstorm on Twitter, then it goes back to TV, but it’s still too soon.
You have to wait for your loser of a cousin to publish a post about it on Facebook. Then it’s a GO, GO, GO, G.I. JOE.
Hey! Before you go. Don’t forget to slap this article!
Smillew is a Medium artist who writes about testicles scratching tools, his Medium newsletter, and his Medium referral link. No need to follow him; he’ll show up in your feed.





