avatarBrandon Springer

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Abstract

e know exactly what kind of book they’re gonna read when they pick up your next novel. <b>You want them to know exactly what you’re going to write before they even start reading.</b> People don’t like surprises.</p><p id="47ab">Focus first on something like semi-humorous superhero geopolitics with reptilians as the antagonists. Or focus on rich guys who like to spank boring women. Do that for 10 years. Then move on to step 27.</p><h2 id="4eb2">Step 26-b: Branch out.</h2><p id="b12f"><b>How do you expect to make any money if you’re <i>only writing in one genre?</i></b></p><p id="1b08">Are you SERIOUSLY depending on one small group of fans to support you?</p><p id="b6ef">What kind of idiot are you? <b>You need to diversify your streams of income.</b></p><p id="b67b">Time to genre hop! You’ve spent a long time slogging through those books about dirty billionaires. Now it’s time to write about really kinky millionaires-with-an-m. Like REALLY kinky.</p><h2 id="61e7">Step 27: Rake in that nasty erotica profit.</h2><p id="5ac3">It’s true, erotica is the devil’s genre. That’s where he corrupts the souls of our youth and women. You’re making money in that genre, which makes you a devil-collaborator.</p><h2 id="4898">Step 28: Repent.</h2><p id="a69b">You’ve sold your soul to the devil. That’s cringe AF bro.</p><h2 id="69ef">Step 29: Make a pen name.</h2><p id="8e7d">You’ve been writing a lot of bullshit under your own name for too long. Now the money is rolling in.</p><p id="109a"><b>Start over like JK Rowling.</b> After she wrote the books about the British wizard who fucked hi

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s best friend’s sister, she said “I’m gonna do a pen name and see if I can build my success all over again.”</p><p id="b8e6">She spent the next few years writing boring crime fiction that nobody cared about. Then she was like,</p><blockquote id="6a1b"><p>“Fuck this, I want them big bills again, bitches!!!”</p></blockquote><p id="0ab4">So she genre-hopped again and wrote a Literary Fiction book nobody cared about because nobody actually reads LitFic.</p><p id="a988">If pen names are good enough for JK Rowling, they’re good enough for you.</p><h2 id="b635">Step 30: Read some books about self-publishing.</h2><p id="1c71">There are lots of great resources out there for the budding author. In fact there are so many that, once you start reading, you’ll never finish your education.</p><p id="13d9">You’ll be so smart by the time you’re 90.</p><h2 id="2997">Step 30.2: Clap for this article!</h2><p id="d3aa"><b>It’s downright <i>DISTURBING </i>how much I like your claps and comments.</b> I should be ashamed…But I’m not.</p><p id="ace8">Claps and Comments are Medium’s way of judging whether I’m a good writer. So please “pay” me by clapping and commenting.</p><p id="b405">You also might want to check out <a href="https://readmedium.com/9-steps-to-becoming-the-worlds-most-hypersuccessful-writer-ecd7fbacd49e">Part 1</a>, <a href="https://readmedium.com/9-more-steps-to-become-the-worlds-most-hypersuccessful-writer-cc9c29d86d0f">Part 2</a>, and <a href="https://readmedium.com/part-3-7-more-steps-to-become-the-worlds-most-successful-writer-00f966d6b09a">Part 3</a>.</p></article></body>

[Part 4] 100 Steps to Become the World’s Most Successful Writer

HyperMegaSuccess Accelerator Academy [Edition 10 Part 4]

Welcome to Part 4 in this HyperMegaAmazinglySuccessfulLongArticle. Let’s engage our minds in this insanely and unhingedly helpful series!

Check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, or just dive into this one.

Photo by Spencer Davis on Unsplash

That’s my McLaren Senna, named after one of the greatest race car drivers of all time (no, not me). If you read this article, you will be able to afford a hypercar of your own!

Let’s get to work.

Step 26: Don’t genre hop.

You have to concentrate all your efforts on dominating one genre. Be sure to niche down as much as possible, because it’s super dangerous to write about more than one topic.

Plus, you want your fans to be know exactly what kind of book they’re gonna read when they pick up your next novel. You want them to know exactly what you’re going to write before they even start reading. People don’t like surprises.

Focus first on something like semi-humorous superhero geopolitics with reptilians as the antagonists. Or focus on rich guys who like to spank boring women. Do that for 10 years. Then move on to step 27.

Step 26-b: Branch out.

How do you expect to make any money if you’re only writing in one genre?

Are you SERIOUSLY depending on one small group of fans to support you?

What kind of idiot are you? You need to diversify your streams of income.

Time to genre hop! You’ve spent a long time slogging through those books about dirty billionaires. Now it’s time to write about really kinky millionaires-with-an-m. Like REALLY kinky.

Step 27: Rake in that nasty erotica profit.

It’s true, erotica is the devil’s genre. That’s where he corrupts the souls of our youth and women. You’re making money in that genre, which makes you a devil-collaborator.

Step 28: Repent.

You’ve sold your soul to the devil. That’s cringe AF bro.

Step 29: Make a pen name.

You’ve been writing a lot of bullshit under your own name for too long. Now the money is rolling in.

Start over like JK Rowling. After she wrote the books about the British wizard who fucked his best friend’s sister, she said “I’m gonna do a pen name and see if I can build my success all over again.”

She spent the next few years writing boring crime fiction that nobody cared about. Then she was like,

“Fuck this, I want them big bills again, bitches!!!”

So she genre-hopped again and wrote a Literary Fiction book nobody cared about because nobody actually reads LitFic.

If pen names are good enough for JK Rowling, they’re good enough for you.

Step 30: Read some books about self-publishing.

There are lots of great resources out there for the budding author. In fact there are so many that, once you start reading, you’ll never finish your education.

You’ll be so smart by the time you’re 90.

Step 30.2: Clap for this article!

It’s downright DISTURBING how much I like your claps and comments. I should be ashamed…But I’m not.

Claps and Comments are Medium’s way of judging whether I’m a good writer. So please “pay” me by clapping and commenting.

You also might want to check out Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

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