[Part 3] 7 More Steps to Become the World’s Most Successful Writer

Summary

The article outlines a satirical approach to becoming a successful writer, emphasizing the use of social media and self-promotion.

Abstract

The third part of the "HyperMegaSuccess Accelerator Academy" series provides a tongue-in-cheek guide for aspiring writers to achieve immense success in the writing industry. It suggests that writing can cure a hangover, advocates for the use of Twitter to expand one's personal brand, and explains the importance of hashtags for viral marketing. The article humorously advises on leveraging Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) to track sales, the necessity of continuous writing to maintain success, and the strategic use of cross-promotion between books. It also satirizes the dilemma of pricing books, suggesting both low and high pricing strategies, and emphasizes the importance of reading previous installments of the series for comprehensive success.

Opinions

The article playfully implies that writing success can be quickly achieved, suggesting the author afforded a private jet after just one week of publishing on Medium.
It humorously presents writing as a cure for a hangover, suggesting that suffering through writing is akin to a Spartan challenge.
The piece references Gary Vaynerchuk's advice on using social media to reinforce one's business and personal brand.
It satirizes the overuse of buzzwords and the self-help culture within the writing community, particularly the emphasis on being an "Authorpreneur."
The article mocks the idea that viral social media presence directly correlates to book sales, suggesting an exaggerated impact on sales figures.
It pokes fun at the modest financial returns from self-publishing, highlighting the irony of earning mere cents per book after platform cuts and taxes.
The guide satirically presents the idea that constant output is the key to maintaining authorial success, with a blunt and humorous tone.
It humorously reflects on the confusion surrounding book pricing strategies, contrasting the advice of charging a lot versus opting for low prices to attract more buyers.

HyperMegaSuccess Accelerator Academy [Edition 10 Part 3]

Welcome to Part 3 in this HyperAwesomeMegaArticle. You can check out Part 1 and Part 2 in the links. Now look at my private jet:

This is the interior of my private jet that I was able to afford after just ONE WEEK of publishing on Medium! [Photo by Yaroslav Muzychenko on Unsplash]

Let’s get to work!

Step 21: Learn about hashtags.

What’s a hashtag? It’s a super important thing. It’s this: #.

You put that before a word, like so: #BrandonSpringer. Now my name has gone viral. It’s all over the Twitter-verse. People are talking about me, which means they like my content, which means I am selling a billion copies.

Let me check my KDP dashboard to double-check that number………. Yep. There it is. Under “units sold” it says “like a billion.”

I am a successful author-man.

Step 25: Keep writing.

This is now your life. After Amazon takes its cut of your 99-cent book, and after the government takes like half of your money, you just made 5 cents!

You’re living the high life as one of the world’s literati. You’ve made money from your words. That puts you in the elite 1% of all people in history.

Now get back to work, bitch. That author-money ain’t gonna roll in forever from just one book. You gotta write another one.

They say the best way to market your first book is by writing a second book. I guess that’s because you can plaster ads for your first book all over the second one. Then, if the second book sells a shitload, a lot of people will see the ad for the first one and be like,

“That book looks cool. I’m gonna buy it.”

That’s how all the successful guys do it.

Wait, I forgot. You were supposed to charge $1000 per copy right?

Fuck, that’s so weird. I swear I just heard some podcast guy a couple hours ago talking about how you need low prices so lots of people will buy your book.

Oh shit, I don’t remember whether it’s better to charge a lot or a little. Dear god, I’m so confused.

[Part 3] 7 More Steps to Become the World’s Most Successful Writer

HyperMegaSuccess Accelerator Academy [Edition 10 Part 3]

Step 19: Deal with that hangover.

Step 20: Get on Twitter.

Step 21: Learn about hashtags.

Step 22: [insert meaningful text here]

Step 23: Check your KDP dashboard now.

Step 24: Sell a book.

Step 25: Keep writing.

Step 25.2: Read the Prequels