HUMOR
Paparazzi War Looms — Harry & Meghan Fight For Their Privacy
If only Meghan had gone in disguise for her walk in the woods. She is now paying an enormous price for that little oversight. Read on to discover how they are coping with life in Canada and why they need a third dog!
Harry had just got back from that exhausting exit from his dysfunctional family. And now this! Paparazzi in the bushes spying on his darling wife and son.
“Why didn’t you take the advice in the old Teddy Bear’s Picnic song?”, demanded Harry angrily.
If you go down to the woods today You’re sure of a big surprise If you go down to the woods today You better go in disguise For every bear that ever there was Will gather there for certain because Today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.
And now they were paying dearly for the fallout as another paparazzi (paps) war loomed. The war front had moved from Vauxhall to Vancouver in a flash. Diplomatic efforts were stepped up to avoid drone strikes and escalation. The UN urged all nations to exercise maximum restraint.
Meghan was distraught. How could she have known that there were paparazzi hiding in the bushes? So much for their security. That obviously had been downgraded too. They could have kept an eye instead of shuffling behind her like teddy bears.
How could she have known that there were now “paparazzi bush beanies” on sale on Amazon? These were warm and comfortable Bluetooth beanie hats so the paps could take calls while they were flashing their cams. Some of them even had built-in microphones so they could talk to their editors in the foul tabloids. A bargain at $13.
Different bush designs perfect for disguising paparazzi, flashers or even spies. Camouflaging has never been easier. Ideal for woodlands, forests and hiking trails frequented by VIPs.
“Get one of her boots, legs, beanie, baby sling. Close up on the dogs — our readers love them!”
“Zoom in on her hair, that awful jacket and try to get one of her boots brand.”
On the legal front, they had to phone their lawyer Soo Youdick to get this one added to their already long list of claims. Invasion of privacy (4,567 claims) and did not seek permission (3,789 claims).
“Hope Dad can give me more of the money he inherited from George VI,” Harry said.
Meghan was on YouTube and was furious when she read the comments under that video which was now being broadcast in every country where people loved celebrities (except North Korea).
The majority of them were nasty and criticized everything from the position of Archie in the sling to wondering who was going to clear up the dogs’ poop.
“Talking of dogs, we need to have an urgent meeting and decide about our third dog because Oz and Guy need more company and also they can protect you from those nasty paparazzi,” Harry said.
“Can’t wait,” Meghan said. “As long as it’s not a teddy bear!”
