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rme/">Instagram</a> or me on <a href="https://twitter.com/ColleenOrme">Twitter</a> or <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/colleen-orme-7773015/">LinkedIn</a> or <a href="https://www.facebook.com/colleensheehyorme">Facebook</a></p><div id="2d49" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/narcissist-i-forgot-to-tell-you-something-36cc463f91a2"> <div> <div> <h2>Narcissist, I Forgot To Tell You Something</h2> <div><h3>The goodbye those who love a narcissist need</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*EuHIDH6sZ_gh5TPTaL5Rgw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="13c9" class="link-block"> <a href="https://colleenorme.medium.com/what-i-call-the-5-cs-of-narcissism-968cab2d8637"> <div> <div> <h2>What I Call the 5 C’s of Narcissism</h2> <div><h3>How a woman met a man and discovered a narcissist</h3></div> <div><p>colleenorme.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*0qEQMEJOcgbgqe_dK-PYug.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="2d8a" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-wedding-vow-do-you-take-this-man-26bf8a8716a7"> <div> <div> <h2>My Wedding Vow, Do You Take This Man?</h2> <div><h3>Not do you take this narcissist?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*LYOWKQjyoI7U4hJDYgTRuQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="c845" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/you-dont-know-someone-until-you-marry-them-b6ca5d4a018a"> <div> <div> <h2>You Don’t Know Someone Until You Marry Them</h2> <div><h3>I shed years of tears with that white dress</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*UkqYpqp2oOpEyV-RiOYY2Q.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="2dfa" class="link-block"> <a href="https://colleenorme.medium.com/the-first-indicator-of-a-narcissist-331412526ce0"> <div> <d

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One Thing Explains Loving and Leaving a Narcissist

It’s a universal truth

I’m not any different than the average narcissist-loving spouse. I knew something wasn’t right. I asked myself the same questions you did. Who is this person? Why do I love them? Why do I stay?

A narcissistic personality disorder is the brain teaser of relationships. And we are more than willing to invest the time to solve the emotional puzzle. Because it doesn’t make sense. Until it does. One day, what was once bewildering is now clear.

In between all of the narcissistic jargon, there’s a universal truth.

And it’s far less complex than we first believed. We continue to love narcissists because they are two people. And then, one day we leave them because they are two people.

In the infancy of learning about this horrific disorder, I wish someone had imparted these thoughts. Because nothing about the word narcissist or attaching myself to one made sense. Or rephrased them, so I could more fully understand.

“You love this person because you see the best in them and that is why you stay. But one day, you will see them for who they truly are, and that is why you’ll leave.”

The loving and the leaving are reciprocal of one another.

Obviously, and not so obvious.

Initially, we are loving the narcissist. We focus on their better side. Like most of you, I would get up to face another day and forget about the ugly evil visitor. At least for as long as I could.

And when he resurfaced I had his back.

“That’s not my guy, he’s such a good man.”

“He must be stressed, he hardly ever acts like this.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s hurting, why else would he behave like this?”

I stayed because I was busy loving and seeing the best in my guy. In my narcissist. The good side was really, really good. He was handsome, quick-witted, smart, hard-working, and fun. What’s not to like?

Words I told myself in between narcissistically induced tears.

I stayed because the narcissist was two people.

And then I left because he was two people.

Just like every other person who’s loved a narcissist. The confusion clears. The person we once saw the best in, the one we loved, becomes the one we see for who they truly are.