A MINI GUIDE TO FINDING YOUR TRUE SELF

One Powerful Mindset Shift Can Actually Free You From Your Mental Stories

Experience the actual reality of life instead of makeshift stories about it.

Years back, when I attended a spiritual program, my (future) mentor asked the hall pack of an audience, “If you are granted one thing in life, what do you want in life?”

I raised my hand. Every cell in my body was screaming, “Please ask me!”

I immediately knew what I wanted.

When he picked me, my heart sang, “Kar de mujhe mujh se hi riha.” (Meaning: make me free from myself).

Looking back at it now makes me feel blessed.

How many people actually know the hindrance to eternal happiness?

Sadly, we work our a$$ off to gain a few days of happiness. It is often defined in terms of vacations, get-togethers, or partying.

But, as soon as it is over, you again return to the same life from where you want a desperate release.

For years, I wandered in search of peace.

Despite having a marvelous life journey of ups and downs, I realized one secret. It was —

No one or no thing can make me happy. It is an internal quality. Either I find it inside me and rest in it. Or I struggle to get a glimpse of it in the outside world.

I am the key. But I also am the barrier.

The key is consciousness. The barrier is the ego.

Understanding it makes it easy where to look for actual freedom and true peace.

True freedom happens when you are free from impulsiveness of mind.

We all have been wrongly fed the meaning of freedom.

Freedom to buy. Freedom to travel. Freedom to live as you want. Isn’t it?

On one hand, you picture yourself having loads of time and money, so you enjoy an exotic vacation with your loved ones. On the other, when you reach there, you are practically still consumed in your thoughts.

Sitting alongside the beautiful pool, sipping a drink while sunbathing. But your mind is occupied by ‘what next.’

You are often not where your body exactly is. You are not relaxed as much as your body. The mind rushes in every direction.

Travel itinerary. Cabs and travel. Back at home scenario. All plays in your head.

It is great to achieve worldly success and have freedom of all sorts. But you can not be actually free till you are free from your mind and its constant bickering.

Your mind is your prison.

Your body may be in one place. But the truth is you are all over places. Almost everyone lives in the world we create in our heads.

I wonder if you have ever noticed that your thoughts, story of a scenario, emotions, and voices in your head control you?

Because if you did, then congrats!

You are one of those rare people who have tried questioning the way everyone lives.

We all live as free citizens. But we are still our mind’s servant.

It took me decades on my spiritual journey to notice this unconscious pattern.

I used to be angry at small things because I thought it was normal. I’d scream at anyone’s mistake because they deserved it, right?

No, wrong. I was so wrong.

If I am reacting to people’s unwarranted actions, it means I am a servant to their actions. They dictate how I would feel. They control how my day goes.

How ironic.

But it is so typical.

Sadly, you will go on doing it if you don’t break the pattern. If you don't question life, it will continue proving itself as a misery to you.

The secret to being truly free.

Absolute freedom happens when you can react and feel the way you want to. Not vice versa.

The secret behind true freedom is creating a gap between your thoughts and yourself.

Not willpower. Not controlling your reactions or emotions. Not some magical power.

If you are serious about taking your life into your hands, the key is you. Not your mind.

After years of seeking and working myself, I live a wonderful life like a child.

Not because I’ve millions or my life is perfect.

It is because thoughts no longer control me. I am able to create a distance between my mind and me. I can move away from my mind's commentary and what it says.

It is stupid to think you can control your thoughts or mind. Nobody can. The continuous stream of thoughts is not in our hands.

But you can detach yourself from it.

Think of it like standing on a train platform and watching trains zooming in and out. You are standing still while thoughts are zipping.

Cultivate the ability to suspend your attachment to your mental story.

Have you wondered why you can easily solve others’ problems but suck at giving yourself advice?

The closer you are to your story, the less analytical mind kicks in. Emotions dictate. Not logic.

You easily flow in the lava of feelings and try to prove yourself. It may be your hurt, anger, or anything. Slowly, your stories move you away from the actual situations.

You lose sight of reality. And focus on what you think is real.

The more you feed it, the more strong your commentary becomes.

My children don’t listen. My partner is irresponsible. My work sucks. I can never be happy.

This is why many motivational guru asks you to change your thoughts to change your reality.

But changing your thoughts is just superficial. It will only affect your life for a short time.

For lifelong peace, a detachment from thoughts is needed.

However, the pull of the mental story is strong. It will go in rounds at the back of your mind. The idea is not to dismiss it. You can’t.

The solution lies in suspending your attachment to your stories. See them like a child crying for attention while you patiently observe them at a distance, without judgments.

Peace lies beneath the cries of the mind.

Years back, while working at the dental clinic, I had a minor argument with another surgeon. I got irritated instantly.

I still remember my train of thought, “It is enough. He always had his way. I am not letting go this time…

Suddenly, awareness hit me.

I got detached from my inner commentary. Within an instant, I saw my rising wave of frustration crash hard. All tensions in body and mind dispersed.

A smile flashed.

Thanks to the spiritual practices I was doing, I could detach from my emotions.

That is why meditation is recommended. It increases the chance of conscious living. It detaches you from your constant thoughts.

Peace lies in between two thoughts. The gap is the peace. The more you train your mind to go silent, the more free you become from the mind’s obsessive nature.

An exercise to create a gap

Close your eyes and remember your recent friction. It can be with your partner, child, or a job.

Look at how you felt about it. The intense emotions that you felt.

Now take three deep breaths.

Mentally pull yourself out of the situation. Step Back. Now watch the scene in the third person.

Just look it at dispassionately without judgments.

Keep on observing it for a few more moments. You can feel the weight lifting off your shoulders and stress leaving your body.

This is the space between your thoughts and you. Create the knack to develop that gap often.

If practiced diligently, nothing can hamper your peace.

Because you are not what you feel or think. You are not what others think of you.

You are beyond any thoughts. You are the silence beneath the waves of emotions. When you center yourself in that silence, you don’t feel the need to prove or get agitated. Life becomes a play where you enjoy it like a child.

That is what meditation does.

When you are comfortable in yourself, you don’t feel the need to prove yourself. Even if others clash, you function from that peace.

Final Thoughts

Most of us live in the world we create in our heads. The fight may seem uglier, the argument more evil.

You believe everything that you think. You think it is your reality.

Your suffering can decrease once you know the secret to happy living. The key is to find yourself in the continuous commentary of mind. It also means to awaken to your true nature.

Dare to question those sticky feelings. Dare to find what lies beneath those emotions.

That is where the actual freedom is. Freedom to be without getting affected by an impulsive mind. Freedom to respond without getting overwhelmed by emotions.

Create the gap between the mind and you. Go more inside of yourself. Find your peace beneath the mind’s commentary.

Because when you break free from the mind, you jump into true freedom beyond superficial interactions. It connects you to your higher self and the highest possibility of being.

Do you want to get closer to your highest self? Download my FREE guided meditation and get weekly reminders and tips to become more conscious in your daily life.