avatarRuchi Thalwal


How My Life Turned Blissful After a Period of Complete Silence

Like a healing capsule, silence took me beyond the limits of my mind and resurrected me mysteriously.

Silence is the healing mechanism of the soul. Photo by Christian Diokno from Pexels

I had a history of remaining a dumb and mute spectator occasionally. Usually, I am chirpy. But the turmoils always led to these states.

The quietness ranged from a week to a month. And I never minded — I resurrected much stronger and resilient every time.

People misunderstood it as depression. But I knew healing took place via mysterious silence. Last year, it lasted for over a month. It metamorphosed me unbelievably.

A profound energy shuffle happened within. And I awakened to see the truth of life.

The Acceptance of Turmoil in My Life Always Triggered the Inside Healing And Silence

Last year, I could not meet my beloved for a straight 7 months. My mind tortured me. Pain arose from my jealousy, comparison, desires, and attachments.

After endless episodes of crying and pain, I accepted the intense pain. In all my helplessness, I allowed my insecurities to surface. I recognized each one of them as and when they came. I felt heavy, gloomy, and in a dark place.

Despite that, I kept on accepting all the densities. I supported my inside darkness to express it all. Finally, when all the purging happened — an intense silence engulfed me.

The darkness of the ravaging tsunami turned into a silent lake.

In my acceptance, I surrendered to the silence, too. The on-and-off battle of the mind that tortured my heart stopped. Silence rapidly took care of everything — be it my mind or heart. There were no emotions or thoughts.

I rested in this newfound peace.

The Magical Moments Of Oneness

My parents and siblings pointed out the awkward silence they were experiencing. No one can contain the intensity of powerful peace. They also experienced something different was happening. Energy spread everywhere.

Gradually, it overtook my senses. I have been a meditator for two decades. The depths of silence touched this time were something beyond my comprehension. They were getting deeper and more profound. It renewed my body system and energy.

Silence dissolved the thought and the feel of “I.”

There was no feeling of the body. I felt an extraordinary lightweight, like a feather. A simple act of eating and walking became an intense activity.

I experienced the body-less state multiple times. I could feel the energies beyond my body. Such intense vibration and oneness happened.

(There is no word other than ‘I’ where I could write who experienced this state. But for the sake of simplicity, I am referring to it as ‘I.’)

Theoretically, I knew the observer and the object were different. But here I was, neither an observer nor an object. I was beyond. Much beyond that words can ever describe.

It was pure consciousness experiencing life itself. “I” was not in the equation. It was life. Just life everywhere. Within me, outside me.

There were no boundaries to demarcate where I was and where I was not.

My Exit Was in a Cocoon, and Like a Butterfly, I Reentered The Society

This new lightweight and expanded awareness stayed like this for many weeks. Until it became my new normal.

It started as the suffering of separation from my beloved and ended in merging me with the universe. It transformed my whole life.

The reality of life became crystal clear. Illusions went away like a thick fog.

The puny ego, the mind’s game of staying in the illusion, the opaqueness with which we live — I can see and feel all. It does not bring anger but compassion for humanity.

Wholesome laughter vibrates through my entire being. Yet, I can no longer recognize who is laughing. I become the laughter.

All external chains melted, and all internal resistance went away. Life flowered in the most beautiful way.

We all are pure consciousness.

We all are expanded awareness. But society taught us to operate from a limited perspective.

Staying in the whirlpool of emotion and identity, we live unsatisfied. Gripped in the unconscious ego pattern, nobody knows how to live joyfully.

But bliss is not outside. It lies within.

How can an unfathomable consciousness remain happy in restricted patterns?

It will strive for more. But, unfortunately, many try to fulfill it with money or power. But it is much beyond what the mind can ever imagine.

Infinite consciousness is your reality.

But only those whose hearts have endured enough in this world dare seek reality. Till you are satisfied in the matrix, you will remain stuck there.

But life is vast and blissful. It will always nudge you — to seek the unfathomable.

Silence Is Not Just the Absence of Words, but Also the Lack Of Thoughts

Silence is mistaken as an external absence of words. But thoughts also disappear when one is genuinely silent. It occurs naturally.

Nobody can compel this silence into your experience. It comes by itself. If you still force it, your mind will convulse.

Silence is a fundamental privilege. The universe has blessed everyone with it. But only a few can see it, and rarely does anyone implement it.

Living in a social structure, you compel yourself to talk/interact, even when you don’t feel like it. Unfortunately, this forceful intervention makes the silence sidetracked. Not giving its due place, you lose the opportunity to dive deep inside yourself.

I always welcomed it with open arms. If I didn’t feel like interacting, I’d communicate the same. Usually, I am cheerful. My loud, uncontrolled laughter shakes the place. But in silence, my mind, voice, and words dry up. Complete silence in every way happens by itself.

Energy to the outside gets sucked in. And bliss prevails.

Only Authenticity Can Make You Drop the Ego to Experience The Bliss

Drop the ego! But how? Simply by being authentic to yourself.

If you feel any emotions you disapprove of — you are resisting life itself. Resistance brings misery.

Your life situations are because you have to learn a lesson. Look inside it. Don’t use the primitive ‘flight’ mode. By being blind to the problem, it will not magically disappear.

The best book to evolve in life is — Your life book. Understand it. Your life incidents are repeating themselves. It does not matter if the person, place, or region changes.

The repetition is in terms of emotional turmoil. They all point toward your resistance to learning. Recognize them and understand the underlying lessons.

My school friend had a bad temper. The situations in her life made her more furious and frustrated. Her resistance towards people and situations got worse with time. It will get worse if she continues to live unconsciously. You need efforts to break the auto mode of trance living.

Just as you work towards financial freedom, it is crucial to work on your inner freedom. It is essential for mental peace and living satisfactorily.

The most critical step is authenticity. Being entirely truthful towards the dense emotions and feelings helps immensely.

Recognize your resistance. It is the starting point of your inner work.


Silence does not always mean passive aggression or depression. But true silence heals. If your silence comes up naturally with no external trigger — Don’t turn a blind eye to it. Accept it wholeheartedly. Let it enter your life.

Your life situations are leading you towards the inside godliness. Be aware of the barriers. Break free from your mental constructs and rigid belief patterns you think are real. They are the shackles that bind you to experience the beyond.

Recognize your resistance and release it. Let this be the mantra for a blissful life waiting to be explored within you. It lies under the depths of your dense emotions. Let them be free to allow you to experience the truth.

The self is that where there is absolutely no ‘I’ thought. And hence silence is the self. The pearl is so small a thing, yet so valuable and so difficult to procure. Silence is simply the surrendered state of consciousness. By silence, eloquence is meant. And hence silence is the self. — Ramana Maharishi

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Self Realization
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