On Mindfulness vs Meditation
No, you don't need to sit on the cushion to be mindful
“Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts.” Pema Chödrön
What is mindfulness but the ability to be present in our lives?
And you know what lives in the present moment? Joy. Not in the past, not in the future, not in endless “have to, should, must do”, not in daydreaming. Joy is here, now.
Sure there is also pain in the present moment and all other sorts of feelings and sensations. Here now is life, with all its nuances. Life wants to live, life feeds on life. And yet, we keep escaping from that.
No one needs to sit and meditate for mindful, conscious living. Yet, I won’t lie: I’ve meditated a lot in this life. I was only 14 years old when I first meditated, something rather weird to have experienced as a Western millennial teenager. I enjoy it so much that some years ago I started giving meditation classes.
That’s when I noticed something interesting. Every time I introduced myself to someone new, and told them that I give meditation classes, the person would tell me about their meditation efforts. They would almost apologize for not having a steady meditation practice, or for feeling they couldn’t meditate.
Nobody was apologetic about not writing a weekly newsletter, not working with online business development, or because they did not enjoy dancing (all other important parts of my life that I also shared with the person in question). But meditation was a trigger; it made them self-conscious.
We live in a society addicted to productivity that puts meditation on a pedestal, featuring it in every “Top 5 morning routines hecks” article. It has become a benchmark, something happy and successful people do, so we all want to follow in their footsteps.
Still, what was curious for me was that people who were apologetic about not sitting on the cushion couldn’t put a finger on why they wanted to meditate in the first place. Anything we do that has no reason or is not particularly fulfilling becomes another box to check, another “should, have to, must” of life. In this day and age, who needs a longer to-do list?
Life is about living, and for that, we are to be here, now. 100% in it. Not immersed in worries, anxiety, fantasy, and lost in thought. Life happens here, not there. When we are here now, we become connected.
Embodied in the fullness of our beings, we create space, let go of what does not matter, and get clarity and alignment. Less multitasking, more discernment of what matters. Less busyness, more presence.
Here now we feel what we feel, cut the bullshit, deal with whatever arises and live.
We live thinking we are scared of dying, avoiding it at all costs. Still, all we escape from the present moment shows that what we are actually afraid of is living. Every one of us will eventually die. Now how many will fully live? By the way, a full schedule does not equal fully living.
Some say the point of meditation is to get an empty mind, and not think about anything. I’d say that is pretty much impossible, and sounds almost like replacing the escapism of not being present with another one: getting rid of thinking and feeling.
For me personally, meditation has been a powerful training in not escaping from the present moment. To stay here, still, with any feeling, thought, and sensation that comes. Observing, being with it, and not judging.
When we meditate, we do not ignore life that wants to come through. In meditation, we allow ourselves to go through pain and pleasure, detaching from control. We don’t only observe life but feel it, acknowledge it, appreciate it. Everything passes. What all Zen masters I’ve met have in common is a sharp sense of humor.
Meditation is a tool of purification of the mind, as it empties us from what is not important, and connects us to the essence of being. In this way, it is a training in penetrating life in its deepest sense. But it is not meditation that does the penetrating: it is being in the present moment. Gladly, for those not fond of the cushion, there are other ways to reach that state.
There are infinite ways to be more present and more connected to life. That is why I've written a book sharing 50 mindfulness practices that do not require meditation. I've called it Bullshit-Free Mindfulness. It is available in print and ebook versions; get your copy here.
Because you can’t become present and mindful by reading about it, this book is as hands-on as it gets. I've also recently shared two practices from this book, which you will find linked below.
I suggest each practice to be done for the period of a week, repeating it in as many days as you want within that week. Repetition allows the exercise to sink in. My invitation is for you to slow down and experience each exercise deeper every time, instead of just running to the next thing. Repetition, when done with presence, brings depth. It allows us to remove layers and for nuances to reveal themselves.
Be curious and see what emerges. This is a chance to experience life with new lenses.
Some of these practices are about connecting to our bodies. Others are about decluttering our minds. Some invite other people in, and others ask us to go outside. It is my hope that you will find a few that naturally resonate with you, and that you identify where in life you could show up more.
May this practice increase your self-connection and the joy you experience in everyday life.
Hi, I am Aline Ra M, spiritual guide, energy worker, and tea lover.