What We Can Learn from Buddha about Going Big
How badly do we want our life vision to come true?
A whole week of silence is ahead of us. Before we get started with the silent retreat, we gather and share our intentions. To go deeper into the meditation practice and listen to one’s heart are common purposes. So is enlightenment, which surprises me. In this vastly urbanized and consumption-driven age, it is beautiful to find people shooting for the stars in their spiritual practice. That said, to have enlightenment as a goal for a silent retreat is, if anything, audacious.
Silent retreats can come in many shapes and forms. The most normal ones are somewhere between four days and two weeks long. They include several hours of meditation practice every day, but also cooked meals, warm showers, and proper sleep. There is support to count on. But most importantly, no matter the hardship, when you get in a retreat, you know when you are getting out. There is a deadline for the sacrifice. These clear definitions and boundaries make it hard for me to understand a bold quantifiable goal to achieve.
It took Buddha seven weeks of uninterrupted meditation under the bodhi tree to get to enlightenment. But before he sat there, he didn’t say “I will sit there and meditate for seven weeks nonstop to get enlightenment”. He didn’t know how long it would take and it didn’t matter. All he knew was what he wanted. It could have taken longer or shorter than it actually did. His attitude was “I am going to sit here and do this for as long as it takes.”
In practical life, we constantly put deadlines and rules to things that are out of our control. We plot time charts, project-manage, repeat affirmations. If we want something, we are of course to focus and work on it. We need to make it happen. Yet, we don’t know when we are going to have that idea that will skyrocket our career, find the big solution for the social problem we carry so much or meet the love of our lives. Does it mean we are going to give up on our dreams if they don’t happen in the time we have defined? Fall to plan B, C or D? How much do we really want this dream?
The question is: do you want this so much that you are willing to go after it for as long as it takes?
The story of Buddha goes that as he sat under the tree, he was tempted by the demon Mara. The three daughters of the demon tried to seduce Buddha with all kinds of passions, greed, and attachments. These seductions can be seen as our inner temptations, from our mind and body. Short term gains to relieve us from pain and to maximize our pleasure.
The message is simple: if we want something badly, we need discipline. We need to distinguish what we want most over what we want now. In days where religion is not very popular, we call it making trade-offs. But in essence, it is about making sacrifices. We can have anything, but not everything. Or, in Seth Godin words:
“The art of moving forward lies in understanding what to leave behind. “
The reasons why we don’t do this type of work are clear. We are afraid. Who wouldn’t? It did not take me one minute to come up with the list of fears below.
Fear of failing and not having a plan B. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of pain. Fear of choosing wrong and closing doors. Fear of commitment and sacrifices. Fear of social ostracism. Fear of the uncertainty of the unknown.
Still, despite the fear, we need to do the work.
Not only once or twice, but repeatedly. Committing on Monday mornings is not enough. We need to recommit every day. That’s the only way to not make the wrong trade-off and give in to short term compensations. We need to stay seated under the tree late at night all the way to the next morning, over and over again.
“The possibilities for the future are infinite. When we focus on the unfortunate possibilities, that’s called fear. When we remember the other possibilities, which are usually more likely, that’s called freedom from fear.” Ajahn Brahm
If 2,600 years ago Buddha was tempted, imagine us, in 2020. We are in the age of 10,000 different holiday destinations to choose from, endless affordable entertainment options. Any possible comfort is one click away. It is this convenience that stands on the way to self-realization. The amount of safety and comfort we fear to lose implies a great risk. And sure, we can play safely. Every now and then, we might be invaded by a feeling there’s something missing. We can choose to ignore it and go buy ice cream. That’s a choice. But if we want more, if we know what we want to go big on, then what are we going to leave behind? How committed are we? Are we ready to go for it for as long as it takes?
Hi, I am Aline Ra M, spiritual guide, energy worker, and tea lover.
Ready to start on your journey?