Of Course You Make Each Other Want You

By Jessica Lyon

Not long ago my husband and I were talking about many things relating to relationships. We got on the topic of wanting the other person. Well, we both had a lot to say about that.

I’m brought back to when my husband and I attended a marriage course at our church. On a side note, I was not too keen on attending a marriage course, but I liked it. Anyways, one of the interviewed couples talked about this, as well. They both spoke about how important it was to remain attractive to the other.

Again I was brought back to when my husband talked about the many counseling/coaching sessions he’s had with people in the past.

I found my answer, for me. The safest place to be is to be is with the other person. And that means knowing what makes them crave you. But, knowledge without action is powerless. And it’s the same, vise versa. I want my husband to not let himself go, as well. So, that dictates the direction we go. As far to attractiveness as possible.

What makes them attracted to you? What makes my husband to me?

I love to see my husband fathering. Personally, I think that’s hot. It’s not just him being attractive, it’s that he meets the man checkboxes in my life. The checkboxes will change over time, but when it comes to health and physical attractiveness, those are facets that remain, as well.

I’ve heard women talk about how it’s not our job to make ourselves be who the other likes. To that, I say, “excuse you? There will be no other woman that works more for him than me, thank you.” My husband is pretty stout and really big on life power, I got that from him. He sees those that will not put forth an effort to keep the other as someone who is working really hard to be single. I didn’t even say, “the effort”, I said, “an effort”. My husband would respond to that, “after the evaluation and the results were either inconclusive or negative, why did they not go back and fix it?”

Now that I’m a mother, I see things differently. I am beginning to see things more like my husband in regard to couples striving to love each other. And loving also means asking yourself what they like. There’s nothing like being a single mother for just thinking about ourselves or losing someone because we didn’t put them first.

If we don’t work to make the other first, then we make ourselves first. My husband explained before that once we start making ourselves first, we will soon find another man or woman, but if we live for the other, then we will always be chasing and dancing with them. Unity begins when I become second.

Conclusion

I find security and a greater passion knowing my husband finds me chase-worthy and someone who he wants to flirt with. And him me. Any excuse I can manage to use is an excuse for me to be lazy or it is the beginning of me choosing myself first.

Just like the flipside, would I want my husband to not make me want to walk his way? I think about him and my baby all day at work. I love pulling into my parking space in our gated parking garage, I step out of my car and know I’m home! I mention “gated”, as my husband found a place to live with 2 security codes before reaching our door. That also makes me feel good, as a woman, knowing he put in that effort and consideration.

We were made for each other. We each have differences in our brains towards each other and we foster that difference. I don’t try to change the way God made my husband’s male brain, I use it. And he does mine. I’m thankful that I have a husband who has learned many high-tier principles in life and in psychology.

Plus, why wouldn’t I want to be what women want to be? Just seems natural. Part of building my family’s empire for generations to come.

Thank you for reading! Thank you for thoughtful comments and for sharing your experiences!!

And my favorite from my husband: