“Adios, it was not pleasant and let’s not see each other again.”

My Ultimate Relationship Filter Plan for 2024

# Whom to Avoid Spending Time With in 2024

Reflecting on Another Year’s Swift Passage

Another year went like a flash.

Sometimes I get a feeling that we are like cars with speed of our age. When I was 20 years old, it felt like I was driving at 20 km/year. These days I feel like I am driving at 33 km/year and soon it’s going to be 34 km/year.

Maybe it’s because we are getting used to many of the things in life. As we get older and older, there will be not many new things to see and experience. Oh, I have seen this, and I already have that kind of feeling. Still, the world provides endless experiences, but our day-to-day life doesn’t change much unless we go somewhere special to travel and try to experience new things.

Looking back, I can see that I have achieved quite several last year’s resolutions. Some resolutions are still in progress or missing in action (MIA). How about you? Did you manage to strike off some of your goals or are they still waiting in your heart to be motivated to start?

I always feel that life is like a teacher, showing us important lessons as we grow.

Sometimes it teaches us softly and sometimes it pushes us hard. During these times, I have learned a lot about how we connect with others. I want to share these thoughts with you and my New Year resolution when it comes to relationships.

“1. I will not spend a second of my time on someone who is not important in my life.”

“2. I will not waste time thinking about people I don’t like or who are upset with me.”

I decided. Life is full of good moments, friendships, dreams, and goals. When we are rested and feeling good, our minds work the best. They help us make choices every day. So, why should we use any of our energy on people who don’t make us happy or who stay stuck in old problems?

1. Valuing Your Time Like Money

Think of your brain as a special kind of bank, where you store not money, but energy. Your time is like the money you have in this bank. People normally value their money more than their time.

Imagine this scenario:

You were passing by the town area, and you saw a long queue of people. It seems that they are waiting for a 50% discount for the new restaurant. You search for it; you find out that it went viral on social media. The general feedback is great and what’s even better is that they are offering an open house discount of 50%. However, the queue looks to be at least a 2-hour long wait.

Will you be willing to wait for that? I know many people are attracted by a 50% discount, but you should measure your time and your opportunity cost. You could have spent the queuing time working on something more productive in your life and bringing in more value.

Instead of getting 15 dollars off from your food after a 2-hour queue, you could have worked on your part-time work to get 30 dollars for 2 hours. So technically you didn’t have 15 dollars, you lost 15 dollars. Also, you know that these shops and restaurants that go viral, won’t last for so long and maybe next month or the following month, you can try it in 5 minutes of waiting in the queue.

The same goes for the relationships. Would you spend this precious ‘money’ on things that don’t help you or make you feel worse?

Just by thinking about people you don’t like or your old problems with them, hoping that it didn’t happen or the one you incurred painful memories to go to hell, it’s like losing your precious ‘money’ from your life’s bank account.

They simply don’t deserve your precious time! And just by thinking about them, you are empowering and admitting that they can impact your life.

But you are the CEO of yourself, captain of your boat, and they can’t control you.

I’ve learned that this is not a good choice through many experiences this year and I plan not to spend a single ‘penny’ on it next year.

To be honest, this kind of spending doesn’t give us anything good in return. It’s like throwing away something valuable that we can’t get back. It’s better to let these things go and not worry about keeping score in life. The universe has its way of handling things. People who cause trouble or are unkind will face the consequences in time.

2. Types of People to Keep a Distance From

For my personal growth and my happiness, I have created a category of people whom I plan to stay away from in 2024.

For me to be happy and achieve personal growth, I have made a blacklist of people I plan to stay away from; These people bring negativity to my thinking and life, stealing all good energy and happiness.

2.1. The Rude Person

Imagine this scenario:

You accidentally bump into someone in the toilet on the way out. You apologize sincerely and try to go out. Instead of acknowledging your apology, he starts shouting at you for being careless although he is also part of that crush. In such moments, it’s tempting to engage, to raise your voice in defense.

But I’ve realized that the better choice is often just to apologize and walk away from the scene. Show empathy, for a person who carries such a burden of anger in their heart is embarking on a self-destructive path. Consider the hardships they’ll face, the multitude of fights they’ll engage in, and the relationships they’ll destroy with their toxic attitude.

We don’t need to be their free-of-charge educators. Let them pay the toll on another road. I must admit that even I have faltered in this regard on occasion, reacting when I should have remained calm. I’ve learned that it’s wiser to let it go.

“It takes two hands to clap.”

Also, if you feel like you must speak, you should allow your emotions to cool down before you let those words escape your lips. Once spoken, words become arrows, and we can never retract them.

2.2. The Gossiper

Similarly, I’ve decided to distance myself from those who revel in the art of gossip. Gossipers are all around the world. Weirdly, they are often nice and friendly in front of the person they are targeting, just that they will highlight all the bad things about them in the back when they are not around.

If you get ever accused by a gossiper, the solution lies in addressing any misunderstandings promptly and not leaning forward to their level. Gossip may provide momentary satisfaction by degrading others, but that satisfaction is fleeting. Their true worth is not diminished by gossip.

Gossipers inevitably pay the price as their deceit is exposed. To ensure they don’t tarnish your reputation when you’re not around, avoid participating in their negative chatter.

Remember the proverb,

“ When you point one finger, three fingers are pointing back to you”

Gossip only ruins the gossiper’s image, not the subjects.

2.3. The Narcissist

Oh, the narcissists! God, I hate them so much! I’ve grown to dislike their conversational habits intensely.

They tend to steer conversations towards themselves, even when it’s not related.

I’ve observed a clear pattern in their behavior. They revel in discussing their possessions and achievements, sometimes shamelessly so. For example, they manage to steer a conversation to their own experiences even when it’s entirely unrelated. I’ve noticed they employ specific words and phrases that serve this purpose.

You might be discussing a book, and suddenly they’re talking about meeting the author and making themselves look good.

These are the common phrases that they use to change the topic and redirect the conversation back to them.

1. “Funny you should mention that, That reminds me of when I…”
2. “That’s nothing compared to what I’ve done…”
3. “That’s nothing. I once had …”
4. “Well, that’s a minor thing compared to what I’ve experienced…”
5. “That’s cute. I once took up…”
6. “Not to brag about it, but I’ve actually.”
7. “That’s boring, let’s talk about something more interesting, like the time I…”

They pretend to sympathize with people but what they are trying to do is to steal the highlights of other people and it’s obvious that they want all the highlights to keep shining on them. It’s tempting to get annoyed, but I’ve chosen to feel sorry for them — One of pity.

I pity them because I now understand that they need constant validation and encouragement from others to affirm their self-worth.

But pitying someone doesn’t mean that I would spend my precious time with them. I’ve also decided not to spend my precious time with these “Energy Vampires.”

If you want to learn more about the characteristics of narcissists, you can check out on below article:

2.4. The Sociopath

Sociopaths are lurking around us and hiding their presence. Dealing with them can be tough if you are a good person.

They only care about themselves and focus on what they want, often overlooking other people’s benefits or interests. Their words and actions reveal their true character. They may tell stories of benefiting from someone else’s misfortune without feeling any remorse or concern.

Here are some examples of the common words or thoughts they have:

1. “It’s not important who gets harmed, as long as I win.”
2. “I don’t feel sorry for it. If they were wiser it wouldn’t have happened to them.”
3. “I take advantage of people for my gain. If they can’t understand it, then it’s their problem.”
4. “I’m simply better than everyone else. Others are just too stupid to realize it.”
5. “It’s never my fault. Others are always to blame.”
6. “Why should I feel guilty? I did what I had to do.”
7. “People are just tools. I use them when I need them, and I can just discard them.”
8. “I didn’t do anything wrong. They brought it upon themselves.”

Being around sociopaths can be really harmful to your mental health. People who are careless about how their actions affect others can create serious problems. It’s better to keep my distance from them. It’s not worth the emotional damage they can cause.

Embracing Vibrant Souls in 2024

This year, my mission is to fill my life with people who bring smiles, growth, and positive energy.

1. The Sunshine Spreaders

I’m drawn to those whose laughter is contagious and who always find the silver lining. Their cheerful spirit lifts me, making even the cloudiest days feel sunny.

2. The Growth Champions

There’s a special magic in being around people who are on a never-ending quest to improve. Their hunger for growth is not just inspiring; it’s a beacon that guides me to challenge myself too.

3. The Wisdom Sharers

Valuing those who offer nuggets of knowledge and life lessons, I treasure our deep conversations. These exchanges don’t just broaden my mind; they open new windows to the world.

4. The Heartfelt Listeners

There’s something incredible about those who listen with their whole heart. Conversations involve more than mere exchange of words; they are a means of sharing understanding and empathy.

5. The Inspiration Igniters

Engaging with people who spark new ideas and perspectives is exhilarating. Their stories don’t just light up my imagination; they ignite a fire to explore and create.

6. The Encouragement Givers

Finally, I hold dear those who can spot the hidden strengths in others. Their supportive and uplifting spirit doesn’t just brighten the room; it kindles a warmth of shared humanity.

If you want some tips for recognizing those good people to surround yourself with, you can read this article:

Wrapping it up

Moving Forward with Wisdom and Positivity

As we come close to the year 2024, it’s key to think about what we’ve gone through before and pick our friends carefully for the road ahead. It’s important to not only surround yourself with good people. But remember, you should also try to become a good person to others.

This year let’s make a big change. Let’s move our time and energy away from bad vibes and towards good ones. We discussed avoiding negative people who gossip, are self-centered, or lack empathy. Instead, let’s surround ourselves with people who make us feel good. Like those who are always positive, love to learn, listen well, inspire us, and see the best in everyone.

By choosing the right friends and company, we can make a happy space that helps us grow as people and brings our best qualities to light. Life is too brief to keep a bad feeling or think about old fights. Instead, let’s think about the good parts of life and value our friends who make our days happier. By doing this, we can make 2024 a year of strong friends and better ourselves, forgetting anything that does not help us anymore.

“Life is about moving on, accepting changes & looking forward to what makes you stronger and more complete.”

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