My Perfect Life in This Perfect World

# 1. Me and my mornings

Hi, I am Øivind. I think I am a relatively normal human being. I know something about life. Like every human, I know something important about life.

I wake up every day, feeling my body’s weight, feeling awfully heavy and dark inside. I open up my eyes, and I think. Oh — here’s another day. How shall I manage to get myself out of this bed? Up to stand on the floor. And to walk out of the sleeping room and into another day in my life?

My back hurts. A dumb, profound pain. My legs are stiff. I could be walking on wooden legs. Or crutches. My legs feel like crutches when I get myself up to a standing position and take the first steps.

Then it’s done for now. I am up on my feet, and I know I have won another day. My private, small lottery. Always a win-win.

Most of the time I feel okay. When I get myself out of the bed. When I get up and walk into the kitchen. When I put on music, and start my computer. I feel okay. I could even say: I feel good. I am happy

I love this moment of the day. It is full of nothing. Full of openness, openings, opportunities. I walk around in the kitchen, looking out of the window, watching the fjord and the trees between me and the waterside.

The house is silent. I have music on, okay. But music is not noise. Music is food for my soul. Music is wrapping my soul in a softcover.

I am happy when I am alone in the house, a few hours in the morning. Music on, peaceful music, songs that I over years have listened to hundreds of times.

I look at the weather. The fjord is shining gray and green with a taste of blue. A dark blue with a gloomy gray brilliant surface. The breeze is giving life to the branches on the trees, the breeze creates an enigmatic pattern on the steel colored surface of the fjord.

I put on the coffee. Always two cups of coffee. A glass of milk and one and a half spoon of cod liver oil. I swallow. It doesn’t taste bad. It is not good either. I know it is good for me, for my aging body. So I swallow.

Like I swallow so many other things in my life. Because I need to. Because I’d better take it, instead of rebelling. Instead of making a lot of noise and make people near me sad. For nothing.

This is what it is all about. The small things in life. And the bigger things. All of it — that’s what I will write about. Here in my online journal. Published here, so that anyone can read. And you can think, have your own thoughts and make your own reflections. And hold this up towards whatever you can compare this with. Your own life? The world, our reality?

It will not be a competition. It will be communication. Perhaps dialogues, when someone feels for saying something, after reading me.

Thank you for reading!

This is the first of a series of posts I will publish on Medium. My perfect life in this perfect world will be about everything and nothing. All these small and big things that sum up to be our existence. Life.

I’d be delighted if you follow me.

Next:

Thank you for reading!

Read more? You are welcome to subscribe to my email list. It’s free!

Ps. In other posts on Medium (not part of this new series) I’ve written about almost anything. I just leave some links here in case you should be interested:

I write about anything, about being human. I write about love, dreams, being alone, sadness, remembering, death, creativity, to have kids, retirement, the future of the world, yoga, drinking, fascism, positive thinking — anything!