Alone, yes — but Lonely?
When I was a little boy (and that’s a long, very long time ago!), I could feel that I was lonely.
But was I a lonely child?
Maybe I was just bored?
In long periods of the teenage age, I had a good mate, one with whom I met daily after school and spent my time together with, a friend who invited me to go to his family’s cabin, together with his parents.
It certainly happened that there were times when I grew up when I was alone and then I got bored. But was I for that reason lonely?
The first does not necessarily include the second. I may very well be alone and bored. Yes, maybe it’s easier to get bored when one is alone than when one is not. But at the same time, I know that being alone to me today — as an adult — is important for me, to do what I most of all want to do: thinking, learning, and writing.
I see that as a child it was good for me to have a buddy, someone to be together with daily. I, like all the kids at school, met other children and adolescents when I was at school, and when I also had a friend that I could be with during the leisure time, I guess I got what I needed socially speaking. That my companion and I maybe gotten bored when we went along the streets in the town where we grew up, but that’s a different thing. We were bored together.
A key question for me is this: Is it unfortunate or beneficial to be alone and to get bored?
As a grown-up person, I do not need a lot of time to keep in touch with others and experience things and share thoughts and experiences with them. Being with others is important and good to me, I know. But at the same time, I know that I need a peak time, and having the such time I believe is good for all.
Perhaps it is like this that children and adolescents easier get bored when they are alone and that this easily can be experienced as loneliness.
I will not simplify this, and I will by no means underestimate that people can feel alone and that some are very, very lonely. My assertion is that loneliness and being alone are two different states. I may very well be alone and still be fine. But again, just to say it — to be lonely, to feel that no one sees me and that nobody cares about me — that is very unfortunate. I know that humans live very lonely in our society, some live and die in great solitude.
During the time we live, there is much noise around us. Both visual noise and lots of sounds. And we all live in this age. We all walk on earth for a certain amount of time and during our journey, we have some options that we can choose between.
I know from time to time that it may seem as if I have an ocean of time. But at the same time, I know that my time is limited and that my total amount of time is unknown.
While I was in a full job (teaching, and later training in adult education) I did not think so much about it. I had enough to do concentrating to be where I should be, at work, and in the family.
Now I have been out of that context (work) for a few years, I have tried the new existence, and have had the opportunity to have much time for myself, alone. Time to relax, time to think, read, study, plan, and reflect.
I have some thoughts that I think may be good for those who are further down the ladder of life. It’s basically quite banal, but maybe not in line with how many of us have lived and live our life:
- Enjoy your time and what you experience where you are.
- Go 100% into the tasks, grab what’s waiting for you, but say stop when enough is enough.
- Take care of your health, and stop bad habits like smoking, drug abuse, and too much alcohol.
- Get started training several times a week, and take care of your body and mind.
- Care about the ones around you, the community in which you live, and the world!
- Spend time on yourself, thinking about life wherever you are and where you are going.
Wish you a great day! :)
Thank you for reading!
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