WRITER’S LIFT | CHALLENGE | FICTION
My Name is Syndrome. Imposter Syndrome.
A tale, a writer’s lift, and a challenge.
Today will be great. I know it, walking in the warming sunlight, a book on Tottenville history tugged under my arm. Some quality reading time in the park before it is time for Samhain and the inward-looking phase of the year. I’m about to lose the person tailing me at the corner of something and nothing when somebody blocks my path.
“My name is Syndrome. Imposter Syndrome. And I have the license to kill your writing!”
Puzzled, I look at the smug guy in the black tuxedo, holding a fancy glass. An olive, staked with a toothpick, swims in a clear liquid.
“Chesus! Did you seriously just make a lame James Bond pun?”
“Lame?!” he gnarls angrily, “I’m not lame! I’m special agent Imposter on a mission for MI-Write.”
Next to me, the witch called Writer’s Block breaks into hysterical laughter. Her behaviour horrifies me because she points her finger at me while laughing.
“Why are you laughing at me, Writer’s Block?!”
“Well, stupid, you made that moron up,” she bellows, “And for the record, you renamed me Wilma Blockowski.”
“Sorry, Wri … Wilma,” I say sarcastically, “I kinda regret rewriting that witch’s nose of yours into something pretty!”
“HELLO?!” the slick wannabe special agent shouts, “I’m still here! Attention! Attention! Attention!”
“That guy is pretty needy,” Wilma says before having another fit of laughter, “like you!”
“Please, Wilma, for once, gimme some sugar.”
The imposter called Imposter raises his glass with a smooth gesture. It is so close to my face that I can sniff at its contents and smell nothing.
“I am a special ….”
“That isn’t even martini!” I announce.
“Probably, the psychopath still shook it,” Wilma adds.
“He looks like the type that likes to shake things up ….” I say, making Wilma laugh, “Just the way you like to steer trouble.”
Wilma frowns and crosses her arms. Her blabber-lipped expression causes me concern, though. When she is grumpy, there is no knowing what she will do next.
“Well, anyway,” Imposter says, trying to hide his insecurity, “I have the license to kill your writing.”
“And why would you do that?”
“Well, for one, you should not start sentences with “well” that often. Secondly, you are far too fond of ellipses.”
“Not again, please,” I reply and fall silent, unsuccessfully thinking about a retort without ellipses.
“You didn’t publish much in a while. Probably you are boring yourself. I am here to keep it that way.”
“You are making a lame effort there,” I say, barely managing to drop the word “well” at the beginning of the sentence, “and you’d probably manage to annoy the antichrist.”
“B-but … but … but….”
Wilma pulls a face at the imposter and snickers.
“He really is into buts.”
I sigh deeply and massage my temples.
“Actually, Mr Imposter Syndrome, YOU are one of my laziest pieces of writing.”
Wilma rubs her hands with glee and smiles deviously.
“Even lazier than that one!”
“WHAT?! How could ... How would … How dare you!”
“I have a great idea,” I announce, “Why don’t you two make out together so that I get some actual writing done? Deal?!”
“Well,” Imposter says, “You have a beautiful nose, Wilma.”
“Well, you … Imposter,” Wilma says, followed by another fit of laughter.
A fight breaks out between the two. All the while, I sneak away to get some actual writing done. My creativity returns already and turns the chimney of an old factory in the distance into a Wizard’s tower.
And finally, the “Imposter Syndrome Challenge”
The idea to write a story about an encounter with “Imposter Syndrome” resulted from an exchange with my writing friends. It was an excellent way to keep Wilma Blockowski busy for a while. Now, I would like to hear some creative ways of how you would put imposter syndrome in its place. Starting with these fine writers here whose stories I linked in this tale:
Cathylouise, JF Danskin, Sam W., Angie Mangino, C.A. Jaymes, Robert Welborn, Linden Schneider, FJCMontenegro, and Bradan Writes Stories.
The rules
- Mock imposter syndrome.
- Publish where you want.
- Publish what you want. I wrote fiction, but you can use nonfiction or poetry if that’s your path to ridiculing imposter syndrome. I won’t block your creativity like Mr Syndrome or Wilma.
- Use the tag “imposter syndrome” if you like.
- Tag me so that I can read it, please. :)
- Challenge your fellow writers. You can write something like, “I challenge Scot Butwell to mock imposter syndrome.” (Scot, you know what to do now. :D)
💯 Story Challenge (37/100)
I have to get away from Special Agent Syndrome and Wilma. You can help me escape by reading my fictional tales, subscribing to my email list or joining Medium with my referral link.
Thanks for supporting my writing journey!