My First Experience With Rope Bondage
The intimacy and eroticism of shibari bondage is incredible
Since I started dating Mr P., I have been having a lot of first-time experiences. Before him, I only had vanilla sex. After him… well, let’s say my sexual life had a turn of 180 degrees, for the best.
All my life, up until Mr P. became part of it, I always felt something was missing in my sexuality, yet, I couldn’t pinpoint what. Because the universe sometimes makes interesting moves, it put Mr P. on my way: a kink (adorable) man.
When we start dating, I didn’t know about Mr P.’s sexual preferences. Only after we had sex for the first time, knowing he had a big collection of sex toys, I asked him to see it. I thought he had vibrators and other vanilla toys, but I was so wrong: he had those and much more.
Each toy he showed me, he tried it on me, in a gentle and demonstrating way. After a few toys, he tried a red flogger. It took me only one flogging on my back to know I had found what was missing in my sexual life. That day, I found out I was a kink.
The warm, heavy feeling of the tails on my back, and the merged sensation of pleasure and pain, made me feel so fucking sexually empowered! The pleasure was raw and intense; the sexually charged flogging was like nothing I’ve ever felt in my life.
Since then, I’ve been exploring BDSM, trying scenes with spanking and whipping; I tried electrosex and wax play; I’ve been using kink sex toys like nipple clamps or pinwheels. I’ve been submissive and dominator, discovering that I’m naturally a switch. And last week, I added a new kink play on my list: rope bondage.
Let me start by telling you that rope play doesn't have to be sexualised. It’s undoubtedly a way to build intimacy and trust, but it doesn’t have to lead to sex. In my case, it did, and it was one of the most exciting experiences I had. The sex we had that night was the more intense, sexy and pleasurable I’ve ever had.
Rope play doesn’t have to be sexualised.
It all started a couple of weeks ago, with Mr P. asking me to “play rope”. I said yes, of course, I’m one to please (like he is). Besides, this acceptance was particularly special: rope bondage is something new for Mr P., he discovered his interest in Shibari recently. As our sexual dynamic is always me being the newbie, I was more than happy to share this experience with him; it was something we would both try for the first time.
Mr P. had already trained shibari on his own, using youtube guidance and a book he bought. Still, shibari is complex, so he had to follow a youtube video while tying me up. Even so, the experience was terrific. But let’s start with the beginning:
What is Shibari?
Shibari is an ancient Japanese bondage technique; the word literally means “to tie”. But it’s much more than the bonding of the wrists or ankles, or playing making knots.
Shibari isn’t about tying someone up: shibari is a form of art.
Quoting this shibari studio website:
The rope is the paint and brush, and the rigger [the person who does the tying] is the rope artist.
The intricate geometric patterns and shapes created by the knots and ties and the involving of the rope on the body, enhance the curves and make astonishing displays. The bodies — naked or dressed — are framed with colourful ropes in creative, artistic shapes.
The ties in Shibari can be as simple as wrist or ankle loops or intricate suspensions, like the picture above.
Shibari is an impressive performance of beauty and sensuality.
When Mr P. was tying me up, I felt so close to him, in an intimate and accomplice way. He was creating something with me, enjoying tying me with a purpose, of making a bit of art. It was a scene; where I was in a submissive role and him in a dominator one, which charged our experience with sexual tension. However, we built it up, subtly and patiently.
While I was being tied up, we were in silence: Mr P. focused on knotting me; and me, taking pleasure in seeing him so happy with it. For me, it was a meditative experience. However, I must admit, it was foreplay as well. I was undressed, only wearing my sexy lingerie, and having him so close to my body, feeling his touch on my skin — even being a non-sexual touch — , it aroused me.
After he finished, all of it became sexual for Mr P. Seeing me, submissive to him, involved in rope — in the shibari he had created — with my arms tied up behind my back, gave him an immediate erection.
As a reflex to him, I got even more aroused; I wanted him badly. But I couldn’t do much; my hands were tied. What I didn’t know was that he had brought to the living room some of his sex toys. He had prepared a delicious surprise…
Mr P. threw a blanket over the floor; the one we use in wax play. Only that action made me wet — the promise of what was coming was so good. He told me to go down on my knees, which I did, without saying a word. He then blindfolded me, taking away my visual stimulation, but, simultaneously, enhancing all my senses, especially touch; I was particularly sensitive to it.
At this point, I was tied up in shibari, blindfolded, on my knees in a blanket we use to play a sexual game of my preference. The anticipation was killing me; I was so aroused!
I heard some movement near me; my guess was that Mr P. was preparing the candles. But suddenly, his fingers slid over my neck, up into my hair and he grabbed it; pulling it hard, as I love it. He pulled my head back and kissed me so intensely, with so much passion that I almost lost my balance. Then he put my head straight again and said, in a low, ordering voice: “open your mouth”. I obeyed him.
On my knees, deprived of sight, and tied up, I opened my mouth to receive Mr P.’s hard cock. I tasted his pre-cum on my lips and tongue, and it made me so proud. Without touching him, I’ve made him completely hard and too aroused. The intimacy and sensuality that connected us were powerful.
I gave him an intense and dedicated blowjob, but one short, merely a teaser. He decided so, of course, as I was under his control.
Mr P. helped me to lay down on the blanket, my back on the floor. He put my long hair away from my face and shoulders and adjusted a few knots that were pressing my back. He asked me if I was ready. When I said yes, the hot, melting, almost burning sensation started covering my chest. He was dripping melted wax on me.
My pleasure was feeding his pleasure; I could hear Mr P.’s moanings as a reaction to my arched back and pleasure sounds coming out of my mouth every time the wax hit my body. He dropped it over my chest, my tummy, my thighs, my arms…
Everything was made at a slow pace, with us savouring every moment of it: me, feeling the burning sensation and the power of being his submissive, of receiving pleasure, unable to see and move. Him, having the visual show of me tied up on his shibari; of having my body as a canvas for the melted wax.
When I said “enough”, Mr P. blew up the candle, and without taking the blindfold off me, he penetrated me, while kissing me, intensely. We were both so aroused (but so aroused!) that we came almost at the same time, not long after he was inside me.
It was one of the best orgasms I had in my life and, up until now, the best sexual experience I’ve ever had.
When I say my sexual life entirely changed since I started to explore BDSM, this is what I mean: I experiment so many intense and different sensations, sometimes individually, often simultaneously. I explore my limits of pleasure and stay there, giving me more and more and more. And the sources of pleasure are not only kissing, or penetrative sex; they seem to be infinite!
Don't get me wrong, I love vanilla sex and Mr P. and I have it, often. But exploring sexuality as I do now, in my full potential, mixing kinks (like having wax play while being tied up) it’s so erotic and arousing that connects me with my lover in a way I never felt before. And most importantly: it connects me deeply with my body.
My first experience with rope bondage ended as an incredible sexual one. But, as explained in this piece, it doesn’t have to be like that. Shibari doesn’t have to be sexualised. but if is… hmmm, even better.
Rope bondage, like any other bondage activity, will bring you closer to your lover, it strengths trust (you can’t have bondage play without it) and it deepens intimacy. It’s an incredible and unforgettable experience.
Note: If you’re thinking about trying rope bondage, please do some research beforehand, it can be a dangerous activity if things go wrong. Always — but always! — have a pair of scissors nearby to cut the ropes in case of need.
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