FELINE FABULOUS
My Cat Might Be Confused
50 ways to call your kitty
I’ll admit, up front: I’m a Cat Woman.
No, not a crazy cat lady, but one whose extended family has hosted 30+ felines since the 1960s.
Currently, only one kitty is in residence here with Moker and me. Her name is Cleo, and she’s a Russian Blue mutt. A rescue kitty — and no, we don’t know her lineage. “Cat” green eyes that sometimes reflect as a shade of yellow; velvety black nose; and sleek gray fur that she grooms often to a lustrous sheen.
Cleo, whose formal name is Cleopatra, also has the loudest purr box of any kitty I’ve ever known. And if purring is any indication of happiness, I’d say Cleo is sitting pretty in that category, because she needs almost no excuse to sound like a contented motorboat.
I imagine our resident housecat, however, does have a little bit of a complex.
Moker and I can’t settle on a consistent name for her. In fact, we have so many nicknames, knockoffs and pet names — if you will — for our little Cleo that they’re sometimes difficult to keep track of.
But I’m going to give it Ye Olde College Try. And you tell me if I’m crazy or just crazy in love with Cleopatra, our resident Queen.
- Cleopatra — her given name — in her lifetime with us, at any rate. She looks like a queen, doesn’t she?
- Cleo — nickname for Cleopatra. Duh.
- CeeCee — knockoff, derived from Cleo.
- Cee Cee Castananga — when she’s skittering around the house, and I feel like shaking my booty, too.
- Ms. Castananga — a more formal designation of Number 4.
- Squeaker — This kitty has opinions, and is never afraid to express them. She talks, talks, talks, in a high-pitched, squeaky kinda meow, whenever she wants to let us know where we stand — even at 3 a.m.!
- Squeaky — Moker’s favored rendition of Number 6.
- Squeaker of the House — Hey, we lived on Capitol Hill for 12 years, and in the D.C. area for almost 40. You’d think we’d have at least one political-type nickname on this list.
- Old Yeller — a nod to my career as a high school English teacher. And, she really does talk a lot.
- Cristian Yelich — Milwaukee Brewers outfielder. This name is a nod to Moker’s Wisconsin roots and also covers Numbers 6–9.
- Meatloaf — Take a look at the snap, above, and tell me it ain’t true.
- Susie — Every pet in our extended family has been called “Susie” at one time or another. IDK why.
- Soos — derivation of Number 12.
- Suze McGuze — Same.
- Nestor Chylak — A longtime MLB umpire. Moker started naming our kitties “Nestor” when he got a gander of them “meatloafing” — aka, Number 11 — around the house.
- Snore Girl — yes, she does. Sometimes louder than my significant other.
- Snorkie — in the same vein as Number 16.
- Floof — I follow an account on Twitter that features a feline named Floof. Cute, huh? So I refer to my kitty that way sometimes, too.
- Poof — rhymes with “Floof”. Sooooooo…
- Purty Girl — She is, isn’t she?
- Pretty Kitty — Indeed.
- Purr Bucket — Please see my intro — Paragraph 3, to be exact. Yup, she’s a contented — and constant — motorboat.
- Pee Pee — Our previous kitty was named Pepper, and we often called her Pee Pee. For no obvious reason, I promise. So other animals naturally acquire this appellation as well. Makes sense. Or not.
- Peepers — derivation of Number 23.
- Petite — she’s not, but this goes with Numbers 23 and 24.
- Leib — My Opa (Grandpa) was German. I didn’t learn much of the language, but know this means “dear”.
- Liebchen — And this is the diminutive of Number 26.
- Boots — The name of my first kitty as a child. No, Cleo does not have them, nor does she wear them.
- Toots — yes, rhymes with “Boots”. That’s all I’ve got.
- Tootie — Please refer to Numbers 28 and 29.
- Toot Toot Marie — See where I’m going with this?
- Mrs. Popillary — One of my kids went to preschool with a little boy named David. He picked up the phrase “Mr. Popularity” somewhere. But he couldn’t pronounce it. So, decades later, we still use this mispronounced endearment. I know — we’re weirdos.
- Poop Le Groot — Often invoked when I’m cleaning the litter box.
- Lucy — “I Love Lucy” is my absolute favorite. And so is Cleo!
- Loooooooossssieee — the way Ricky Ricardo pronounced Lucy’s name, especially when he was angry. We never speak in anger to Cleo, so this is just a cute lil name, don’tcha think?
- Lucy McGoosey — It follows that if I call her “Lucy”, I might call her “McGoosey”, right?
- Bruce — If you go back and scan Numbers 34–36, this might make sense. But then again…
- Ms. Stretch — Have you ever seen a cat do a “Halloween Cat” stretch? Exactly!
- Twirly — She chases her tail, on occasion.
- Girly — rhymes with Number 39. Sometimes both used together.
- Sweet Poteet — no clue, but my Cleo is one.
- Scoobie Doobie — No, not “Scooby Doo”. Don’t really know why we added the “ie”.
- Moose — Sorta rhymes with Number 37?
- Moosey — See where I’m going here?
- Goose — I could go on forever. “To everything there is a season”. And more.
- Goose Goose — gettin’ my groove on.
- Duck — If we’ve got a “Goose”, we’re going to need a “Duck” to play the game, yes?
- Duckie — See Number 47.
- Green Eye — except when her eyes look yellow. And please don’t ask why this is singular. Cleo has two eyes, and they’re both green. Except when they’re not.
- Gris — Spanish for “Gray”, which she is. Gray in color; not Spanish in origin. I think, actually, she hails from the State of Maryland.
You know, if I wrote this list again — today, tomorrow, a year from now — it would be different. What’s in a name? Not much. Cleo knows “what side her Friskies are buttered on”, as my Mama used to say. And that’s enough for her to come running.
