Electric Wet Dreams
Medium Publications I’d Love To See
Can’t find a publication— read on!
I write for around twenty publications. That’s not a lot. Hogan Torah writes for a million. Or so I’m told.
I could probably add more. But I can’t be bothered to apply.
A way around my laziness would be to set up my own publications.
Like these below.
Roundabout — Write Rubbish

A publication where you can write anything knowing no one will ever read it. You could copy out your shopping list and no one would care. They would just scroll down to the end, clap, comment, and move on.
And around we go.
Musk & Me

Seeing as every other article on Medium these days seems to be about Elon Musk — I’ve written at least two. What better way to honour the great man than to have a publication dedicated to him.
Here, any budding sycophant can lay down reams of perfectly AI manufactured prose on how truly great Elon is, and how he really is trying to save the world.
Every piece will be instantly uploaded to Twitter — unmoderated — so you’ll be able to say anything, forever.
Republicans welcome.
Fucked Up — The Place to be Insane

Ever wanted a place for all that shit that lurks at the bottom of your soul that you want to dredge up and set free, however terrifying?
This is the place. A place for real Fuck-Ups. The sort of place where you could write a post containing nothing but the letter ‘A’ and everyone would think you are totally normal.
Jerk-Off — No Explanation Needed

No online platform would be complete without a dedicated place for males to write about all the demented weird sexual shit that goes on in their heads.
The publication will have an XXX certificate in case I get some of my own friends posting on it.
Clickbait — The Place For Liars

A new publication in which writers are welcome to make the most outrageous claims. The more outlandish the better.
- I earnt $44 billion Writing on Medium
- I am Elon Musk
- Elon Musk Buys Medium For $5
I can’t wait to read more.
Drug Free — Rehab for Everyone

Naturally, we need a space for recovering junkies, alcoholics, meth heads, and all those people who started vaping and got totally addicted to nicotine.
One poor soul told me, in order to quit, he had to start smoking Camel Filters to wean himself off.
Write Off — No Hope Writing

The must-have writer's publication for budding writers who are going nowhere. Here, defeated authors can give advice to other washed-out authors on how best to waste the next 20 years of their lives writing stuff no one will ever read.
Basket Case — Where Foodies Meat Foodies

A devoted publication for foodies who enjoy nothing more than boring everyone to death with their recipes. Basket Case invites anyone who has ever cooked a meal, and so now thinks they are professional chefs, to share whatever terrible dish they’ve created.
Any recipe submitted here will go out with a health warning, informing readers that eating any of these dishes will kill them.
Pratfall — Comedy For Morons

Finally, this will be a place for some of Medium’s greatest comics stars. From the sharpest political satire to the worst toilet humour, there will be a place for everyone to lay their comic turd down.
Thanks for reading, for more made up garbage, check out:
