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Abstract

something like this.</p><figure id="2e4c"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*KJanczGwp5fV1NjymuATRw.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/es/@danielyubi?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Daniel Yubi</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com?utm_source=medium&utm_medium=referral">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="ca4d">What’s wrong with that?</p><p id="6dd2">Why this?</p><figure id="ebf9"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*aoMnqV7hvPXFf4MLxE6Ljg.jpeg"><figcaption>(Image/<a href="https://fr.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fichier:Cup_of_Costa_Coffee.jpg">Oxyman</a>/Wiki Comms)</figcaption></figure><p id="a63f">This was what people were drinking when I went back to the UK recently. Drinking these giant bowls of coffee while trying to read the newspaper, or look at some garbage on their phones.</p><p id="ee00">To actually drink their milk (coffee) they had to put their paper or phone down on the table (if there was room). Then grasp the giant bowl in both hands like they were picking up a barrel of ale, to take the tiniest of sips.</p><p id="f906">They had to do this to avoid burning their lips, because the Barista had superheated their milk to 8000 degrees.</p><p id="0075">The customer would then lower the bowl onto the table again with a thud, rub their charred lips, and continue reading.</p><figure id="9d9d"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*7HypzBMZD7d6rrFNkO2UXw.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@mattiasdiesel?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Mattias Diesel</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/newspaper-in-coffee-shop?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="032b">I used to like hot milk. When I was five years old. When I had a bad tummy, or couldn’t sleep. But not now. At the age of 48.</p><p id="bc3d">What’s wrong with everybody? Is everyone so ill that they have to constantly soothe themselves with bowls of hot milk?</p><p id="416a">And what about the cows? The environment? All that methane gas?</p><p id="0711">‘I’m a vegan,’ someone says.</p><p id="1e2d">‘Oh, so you like black coffee like me, well done!’</p><p id="7a45">Steely looks.</p><figure id="3865"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*EvltfZXDLn9YkRcEUL59xg.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@yapics?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referr

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al&utm_content=creditCopyText">Leon Seibert</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/s/photos/oat-milk?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="9df7">Of course, how stupid of me.</p><p id="4e6e">A pint of oat milk and a dash of coffee. I couldn’t imagine anything worse. What next? Syrup? Iced-coffee? Tea without milk!</p><p id="ab9b">Don’t get me started…</p><figure id="69f2"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*-p3n1MovQ7K8dBLok9mj9w.jpeg"><figcaption>(Image/<a href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tea_bags.jpg">Wiki </a>Comms)</figcaption></figure><p id="06db">Thanks for reading. For more information on how to make coffee, go to Italy.</p><div id="8318" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/why-your-burger-isnt-a-signature-dish-458a8f2cf7e1"> <div> <div> <h2>Why Your Burger Isn’t a Signature Dish</h2> <div><h3>It’s a fucking burger!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*8RRPKpvnkc1zYj97)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="35d6" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-fucking-inconvenience-of-convenience-42dff6abf4a9"> <div> <div> <h2>The Fucking Inconvenience of Convenience</h2> <div><h3>You know what I’m talking about</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*fD7IfPq9xCscV9cUdaWKuw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="a875" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/why-you-shouldnt-take-your-smartphone-on-vacation-1ab756a9fdb7"> <div> <div> <h2>Why You Shouldn’t Take Your Smartphone On Vacation</h2> <div><h3>Give yourself a break — for once</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Az0E_8vSn2qmHfTw571TFQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Stupid Coffee Culture

Do You Want Some Coffee in Your Milk?

The rise of the jumbo coffee

Look at the image above.

What do you see?

‘A coffee?’

No. This is a coffee.

The other coffee is a bowl of milk.

Costa Coffee

If you’re unaware of Costa Coffee, it’s British Starbucks with 4000 stores worldwide. Although weirdly, there are only two stores in the US.

This is a Costa Coffee Large Latte. Shall we have a look again?

Why would you drink something like that?

By definition a Latte is 1/3 espresso. 2/3 milk.

The Costa Coffee Large Latte above has a whopping 495ml (16.7 fl.oz) of milk. And 60 ml (2.2 fl.oz) of coffee. A quick bit of arithmetic tells me that’s not 1/3 to 2/3.

It’s 1/8 to 7/8!!!!

In effect, you’ve just order this.

But instead of beer, it’s milk.

I cannot understand why anyone would do this. When you could order something like this.

What’s wrong with that?

Why this?

This was what people were drinking when I went back to the UK recently. Drinking these giant bowls of coffee while trying to read the newspaper, or look at some garbage on their phones.

To actually drink their milk (coffee) they had to put their paper or phone down on the table (if there was room). Then grasp the giant bowl in both hands like they were picking up a barrel of ale, to take the tiniest of sips.

They had to do this to avoid burning their lips, because the Barista had superheated their milk to 8000 degrees.

The customer would then lower the bowl onto the table again with a thud, rub their charred lips, and continue reading.

I used to like hot milk. When I was five years old. When I had a bad tummy, or couldn’t sleep. But not now. At the age of 48.

What’s wrong with everybody? Is everyone so ill that they have to constantly soothe themselves with bowls of hot milk?

And what about the cows? The environment? All that methane gas?

‘I’m a vegan,’ someone says.

‘Oh, so you like black coffee like me, well done!’

Steely looks.

Of course, how stupid of me.

A pint of oat milk and a dash of coffee. I couldn’t imagine anything worse. What next? Syrup? Iced-coffee? Tea without milk!

Don’t get me started…