Manipulation — The Foolproof Way to Get Everything You Want and Make Yourself Miserable
Women as well as men need to read this.
Manipulation is so efficient and ingrained in the human spirit that only people who can’t do it well abstain from its use.
No matter how honest, ethical, and put together someone is, manipulation will find a way to seep through into his actions and decisions.
Because we all want to win.
And if you’re honest about it, manipulation works like a charm. Or does it?
A friend of mine is in a relationship with a married man. The situation is everything you’d expect it to be: she wants him to get a divorce; he’s stalling.
She’s frustrated with the situation but hasn’t left him yet.
In the meantime, she’s trying to come up with ideas on how to make him leave his wife and wants me to help.
Before you start bashing me for helping a home-wrecker, this is where I stand on the issue:
- The home can be wrecked only by one or both of the 2 people in the home, not by an outsider.
- I’m not in the habit of judging people for their decisions even when I think they’re bad.
- I advised her against dating a married man from the very beginning of the relationship. For her own sake and her emotional health.
- I stand by her whatever she decides as long as it’s not hurting anyone.
Long story short, although I’m not judging her for her choices, I’m also not helping.
However, one of these days she read a book that teaches women to get the man they want, with 4 very straightforward techniques:
- Constantly flatter his ego (the most important one)
- Ask for his help and be grateful when you receive it.
- Give him great sex.
- Be sweet and accommodating. Laugh!
In case you’re wondering, the method works. And it works well.
I used to be a trainer for several virtual sex work studios. The techniques above are the very ones I taught to get men to fall for the workers.
Contrary to popular opinion, sex work is not so much about the sex as it is about manipulating men into giving the girls their money. All their money!
Is there anything wrong with any of the techniques above? Out of context — no. Within context — yes! Because it’s not a real partnership. It’s nothing more than training someone into falling for you by being a fake ideal that doesn’t exist in nature.
Some men will see nothing wrong with this because they are only thinking about the benefits of getting someone to laugh at all their jokes and give them some good loving.
But I do. Actually, this attitude towards men pissed me off.
- Treating men like simplistic beings incapable of complex feelings is very disrespectful to them. Unfortunately, I heard a lot of men talk about themselves using these very terms: “I’m a very simple guy, just like any other man. Just feed me and have sex with me and I’m good.” While that is enough for some people, it’s not enough for most.
- Although the method works in an isolated unnatural environment (like that of virtual sex work), it doesn’t work on all men and usually, it doesn’t work on quality, educated, smart, and emotionally evolved men.
So careful of the men you can get with this ploy. You might not even want them in the long run.
“You are a manipulator.
I like to think of myself more as an outcome engineer.”
― J.R. Ward, Lover Eternal
The problem that I’m raising is not a moral one. We all understand that the morality of this method is questionable, to say the least, but that doesn’t mean people won’t do it.
What I want to bring into the spotlight are the faulty results.
Although I told you the method works like a charm, and it does, it will only get you what you think you want, shallow results that you’ll soon discover are useless.
You might think you want a certain man to break up with his wife, but what you really want is to be happy! That’s the underlying reason behind everything you do.
Will you be happy when he discovers your true colors? Can you keep up this game for life?
Can you be permanently sweet, always in the mood for mind-blowing porn star sex, and always willing to offer praise, no matter what happens? Let’s say you’re one of the few people who can, but is it worth it?
Manipulation is the crowning achievement of not being yourself.
That’s the problem.
And if you’re not yourself, who will that man fall in love with? How will you be happy in a relationship where you can never be yourself? How will he still want you when the act stops and he discovers you’re bitter, unsatisfied, and can open pickle jars yourself?
Unless you show up as yourself, you have no chance at love, connection, communication, and healthy relationships.
Throughout the years, I’ve met a lot of people. I’ve been in varied and diverse circles. And I’ve interacted with a lot of men and women as part of my life & relationships coachwork.
And so far I’ve met no happy manipulators.
Choose wisely and know what you want. If you’re not careful, you might just get it!
Manipulation is a short-term high. But a long-term pain in the ass.
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