#8 — 1,001 calzoncillos nights : week 2 : stephanie and lucy
Lucy’s Tales
Lucy, aka, Lucy Goosey, Lucy Furr, the Lab with Attitude, My Forever Puppy

Day 1:
Lucy: What is it you want me to do? Write for Medium.rare seven days straight? Let me think about it. (.333 smillewseconds later) NO!!!
I started writing for Medium.coma four years ago. That’s 28 in dog years. I’m done. It’s your turn for the next 28 years.
Stephanie: Perro, por favor, Lucy.
Lucy: Now, you can’t speak English?
Stephanie: But, please, Lucy.
Lucy: You can’t spell worth shit. Perro with two ‘r’s is “dog”. Pero with one ‘r’ is “but”. You know a good way to remember?
Stephanie: What’s that?
Lucy: “Perro”. “RR — ” That’s me growling at you.
Stephanie: Lucy Goosey. I really need your help.
Lucy: Do you know why I’m growling at you? Do you remember what happened yesterday when I took you for a walk to the park?
Stephanie: Yes, I laughed at you. You were barking at the moon, because it was out during the day.
Lucy: Is the moon supposed to be out during the day?
Stephanie: It’s reflecting light from the sun, so it’s brighter than the sky in daytime or at night.
Lucy: I didn’t know that, perro I’m still not writing for Medium.
Stephanie: Grandma Smillew said you can post your old stories. You have so many good ones.
Lucy: I love Grandma Smillew.
Stephanie: So, you’ll do it?
Lucy: For grandma.
Lucy: This was my first post on Medium.beach. Published on January 16, 2019. 139 views. I earned $2.50. You never paid me, Stephanie, wtf?
Stephanie: Mañana, lucy, mañana.
Lucy: I’ve heard that before. Hey, lookie there, I had 1k+ claps.
Day 2:
This was my tribute to Jamie. She taught me everything she knew. Then she went to heaven. . . Did I make any Medium.moolah with this one?
Stephanie: $1.95.
Lucy: Way better than you with your dumb ass “Look-at-me-I’m-a-time-traveler-who-was-in-a-Medium.coma-for-three-years” posts.
Stephanie: You’re the smart one, Lucy.
Lucy: Damn, right.
Day 3:
Lucy: I published my foto journal of Lake Tahoe on June 30, 2022. I only made 36 cents??? Where is the manager of Medium?
Lucy: What about this one?
Stephanie: 27 cents, Lucy.
Lucy: I am the first pup on Mars. I do an exclusive with Medium.earth, and I only made 27 cents?
Stephanie: Lo siento, Lucy.
Day 4:
Lucy: Ziggy and my ‘Scrabble Challenge’?
Stephanie: $1.25.
Lucy: Not bad. It’s always worthwhile to work with Smillew.
Day 5:
Lucy: One from our on-going saga to get together with Robert’s Rex?
Stephanie: Are you sure you really want to know?
Lucy: How bad is it?
Stephanie: 35 cents.
Lucy: I’m working really hard on these foto journals for Medium.madness, and I Medium.rarely make $1. This is bumming me out.
Day 6:
Lucy: This one?
Stephanie: 62 cents.
Lucy: What about this one?
Stephanie: $1.72.
Lucy: It’s just a foto and a caption from 2019. Did Medium pay better in the good old days?
Day 7:
Stephanie: 14 cents.
Lucy: What the —
Stephanie: — You were plotting to kill me sister —
Lucy: So?
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