Local Elections 2022. Local Rejections?

This week The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Boris Johnson, a man so posh that he told a pensioner, who because of the cost of living crisis rides the bus to stay warm, that thanks to him introducing her free bus pass she gets to ride the bus to stay warm for free, was the “first world leader to address the Ukraine parliament since war began.” The fact there were local elections on this week were purely coincidental. It’s not like the Ukis are gonna refuse a Mr Johnson address innit? We do give ’em guns and shit. How on Earth a former comedian, Volodymyr Zelenskyy, and a clown, Boris Johnson, have developed a bromance is beyond….oh, I get it.

Elsewhere George Eustice (too easy) Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, a man so qualified for the job that he benefited from the Tory policy of “You were volunteered when you were in the bogs,” when asked about the cost of living crisis said us Brits should buy value brands. Mr Eustace, technically didn’t say this, however if we were always totally accurate about what our politicians said we wunt be able to take the piss so much.

This time last year Leader of the Labour Party of the United Kingdom, Sir Keir Starmer, a man so ordinary he has booze during a work break, had a cabinet reshuffle following a massive local election disaster (apparently). This year no massive local election disaster, just progress “is too slow” (apparently). Anyway, everyone in his cupboard kept his or her job. So this week to celebrate those one year contracts being satisfactory fulfilled I ask his team the question, “Who would play you in a film?”