Evergreen Content
Let’s Talk Dollars And Stats
Because there is so much to talk about
Let’s talk about money. We all need it. We all don’t make enough of it.
While inflation is still rising, Medium wages have remained stubbornly stagnant. If you are among the hard working and fortunate and publish every day, you might be pulling in $25 — $35 dollars per month.
Let me break down my August earnings for you thus far, poem by poem, satire by satire, along with what I might be able to buy with such earnings. I will just show you my top earners.
I love the bit at the top about “only showing posts with earnings greater than $0.” This way we can always be looking forward and can ignore those really bad pieces that earned us a negative income.
My top two earners are both satires I wrote for The Pub. The first one is a 5 minute piece about the Great Summer Clapping Drought on Medium that took place during July, which ironically got a lot of applause. People apparently like when you speak Truth to Powerlessness.
Here are the corresponding numbers behind those earnings. For those of you who don’t bother looking at your own stats, the categories from left to right are: Views, Reads, Read Ratio, and Fans (People Who Clapped):
So, my “Claps” piece that earned $3.85 got 102 views, 25 reads, and 31 clappers for a 5 minute read.
Now what, you might ask, can I buy for $3.85 or less?
That’s right. 48 Dude Wipes for only $2.83. 48 times to wipe my ass before climate change wipes me off the planet. Plant-based, of course.
Ok, what else? What about something to eat? Can my top earning satire fill my belly? Let’s have a look.
0.07 Kilograms of “wonderful” roasted and salted pistachios for just $2.98. Thank you Medium Partner Program!
Unfortunately, I will not be able to both eat my snack and wipe my ass on this generous income from my top earning satire. I’ll have to choose one or the other.
And what about my top earning poem? As you will recall from the top image, my top earning poem made a whopping $1.27. Here it is here:
Now, before you sneer at this amount, think what it takes to get a mere one minute poem to reach even $1 dollar, let alone $1.27. Here are the stats:
111 views, 31 reads, and 42 clappers. For a humble poet like myself, that’s called knocking it out of the park. So what did this lyrical home run win me?
A stick of toothpaste for just 99 cents. So between my top four earners combined I’ll be able to buy all three products. What more would one want? Clean ass, clean teeth, and a belly full of “wonderful” pistachio nuts.
THANK YOU MEDIUM PARTNER PROGRAM!
What about others? Care to open your underwear drawer and reveal your precious top earning pieces for the month of August? I invite you to the very first ever Carlo Zeno Prompt Challenge:
- Show us your top four earners for the month of August.
- Tell us what you will buy with your earnings.
Have fun. It’s not a competition. But, please, no doctoring your stats. Only the unvarnished truth.
I invite Smillew Rahcuef, Ann James, Patrick Eades, Jesse M Hawthorne, Lucy Dan 蛋小姐 (she/her/她), K.P. DeLaney, Cristina Cattai, Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier), Kristine Laco, Miss Catherine La Grange, spinster, Laurel B. Miller, Annie Trevaskis, Gunner Barrett, Mark Tulin, Benighted, Rachel K. Gause, Michael Centrone, Brian Lageose, Shereen Bingham, and anyone else up to the challenge.
No pressure, and I completely understand if you give the challenge a great wide pass. But if you do go for it, please tag me. Cheers.🙏
© Carlo Zeno 2022
