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2058

Abstract

no stories, and the tag doesn’t even exist. Isn’t this strange? If there’s one place I expected some <a href="https://readmedium.com/proving-to-the-world-youre-a-goat-when-you-re-completely-fucking-miserable-2fa192dffb85">goatshit stories</a>, it was Medium.</p><div id="5b61" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/proving-to-the-world-youre-a-goat-when-you-re-completely-fucking-miserable-2fa192dffb85"> <div> <div> <h2>Proving To The World You’re A GOAT When You’re Completely Fucking Miserable</h2> <div><h3>Humor is a defense mechanism. Where there is humor, there is suffering</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*L0Yl9k1CbyGb70U7aP9vQQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="1f12"><i>Notable fact:</i> Feel free to be the first; I didn’t use the tag in the present research article.</p><h2 id="0c1b">Horseshit — 6 stories</h2><p id="1e03"><i>“<a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=horse%20shit">It’s like</a> bullshit, but with more attitude.”</i></p><p id="cf92"><a href="https://medium.com/tag/horseshit">Horseshit</a> is a personal favorite. I didn’t check, but the six stories might be all mine. Here’s wishing more writers will use this smelly tag in the future. And don’t hesitate to tag me in your horseshit, folks!</p><p id="4a56"><i>Noteworthy related topics:</i> <a href="https://medium.com/tag/keanu-reeves">Keanu Reeves</a>, <a href="https://medium.com/tag/by-smillew">By Smillew</a>.</p><h2 id="24e1">Chickenshit — 3 stories</h2><p id="8bfa"><i>“<a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chickenshit">Name</a> for people who are cowardly.”</i></p><p id="3bc1">Inaugurated in 2011 by <a href="undefined">Shabooty</a>, the chickenshit topic didn’t receive the attention it deserved. But there’s hope. After a reviva

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l in 2020, and 2021, I’m confident 2022 might be the chickenshit year we all have been waiting for.</p><h2 id="8c2d">Ape shit — 5 stories</h2><p id="79db"><i>“<a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=apeshit">Extreme</a> anger or a state of insanity stemming from anger.”</i></p><p id="f320">For example: if this story doesn’t get chosen for further distribution in the shit show that is Medium, I’ll go ape shit.</p><h2 id="a065">Dog shit — 22 stories</h2><p id="57a5"><i>“<a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dog%20Shit">Something</a> worthless and of inferior quality.”</i></p><p id="05ae"><a href="undefined">Rocky Shores</a> is the Top Writer in Dog Shit. No surprise here, it’s well deserved.</p><p id="4f89">We couldn’t reach Rocky for a statement but found him drunk in the bar downstairs. He was still screaming, “<a href="https://readmedium.com/king-of-the-world-ma-cede23156b9a">I AM THE KING OF DOG SHIT</a>,” when we left him to write this article.</p><h2 id="05be">No Shit Sherlock</h2><p id="fc7e">Yet another tag that didn’t reveal its full potential. With 0 articles written so far, ‘No Shit Sherlock’ is waiting for your stories. It’s high time you get your shit together.</p><h2 id="3b62">Final shit</h2><p id="fd4d">I wish you all to be as happy as a pig in shit.</p><p id="3eaf"><i>This was the free version of the latest trends in Medium Shit. <a href="https://smillewrahcuef.medium.com/subscribe">Subscribe to my newsletter</a> and upgrade to pro shit.</i></p><p id="70f5"><i>PS: You might wonder if I wrote this shitpost for the claps? To which, I’ll answer, “does a bear shit in the woods?”</i></p><p id="20bf"><i>Smillew is a Medium writer who writes mainly about <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-took-a-shit-in-the-metaverse-63693b9162f8">shit</a>, his <a href="https://smillewrahcuef.medium.com/subscribe">Medium newsletter</a>, and his <a href="https://smillewrahcuef.medium.com/membership">Medium referral link</a>. No need to follow him; he’ll show up in your feed.</i></p></article></body>

YOUR SHITTY BRIEFING

Latest Trends in Shitposting

Medium edition

I hate to be the one shitting in your Cheerios, but with a competitive landscape that got shittier than ever this year, Medium’s shitposters are under growing pressure to differentiate.

I know you’d rather shit in your hands, then clap, than read this wake-up call, but you need to know your shit if you want to succeed next year. In this report, you’ll find the key trends in shitty tags for 2022 and beyond. It seems fitting to use the listicle format for such an important topic.

Welcome to the Medium shit show.

Batshit — 0 story

“A level of insanity that the word alone cannot justify.”

I find it crazy that there were no posts tagged with batshit so far. I’m here to change that. The next step will be to write articles on what Medium categorized as batshit-related topics. Namely, ‘Crazy Daughter’ and ‘Mess With My Mom.’

Notable fact: There’s one story tagged ‘batshit crazy.’

Bullshit — 1K stories

“Stupid or untrue talk or writing; nonsense.”

I fear this article might be a good example. When you’re not sure of your sources or if your story doesn’t make any sense, use the bullshit tag. I did.

Goatshit — 0 stories

“When something is exceptionally great.”

There are no stories, and the tag doesn’t even exist. Isn’t this strange? If there’s one place I expected some goatshit stories, it was Medium.

Proving To The World You’re A GOAT When You’re Completely Fucking Miserable

Humor is a defense mechanism. Where there is humor, there is suffering

medium.com

Notable fact: Feel free to be the first; I didn’t use the tag in the present research article.

Horseshit — 6 stories

“It’s like bullshit, but with more attitude.”

Horseshit is a personal favorite. I didn’t check, but the six stories might be all mine. Here’s wishing more writers will use this smelly tag in the future. And don’t hesitate to tag me in your horseshit, folks!

Noteworthy related topics: Keanu Reeves, By Smillew.

Chickenshit — 3 stories

“Name for people who are cowardly.”

Inaugurated in 2011 by Shabooty, the chickenshit topic didn’t receive the attention it deserved. But there’s hope. After a revival in 2020, and 2021, I’m confident 2022 might be the chickenshit year we all have been waiting for.

Ape shit — 5 stories

“Extreme anger or a state of insanity stemming from anger.”

For example: if this story doesn’t get chosen for further distribution in the shit show that is Medium, I’ll go ape shit.

Dog shit — 22 stories

“Something worthless and of inferior quality.”

Rocky Shores is the Top Writer in Dog Shit. No surprise here, it’s well deserved.

We couldn’t reach Rocky for a statement but found him drunk in the bar downstairs. He was still screaming, “I AM THE KING OF DOG SHIT,” when we left him to write this article.

No Shit Sherlock

Yet another tag that didn’t reveal its full potential. With 0 articles written so far, ‘No Shit Sherlock’ is waiting for your stories. It’s high time you get your shit together.

Final shit

I wish you all to be as happy as a pig in shit.

This was the free version of the latest trends in Medium Shit. Subscribe to my newsletter and upgrade to pro shit.

PS: You might wonder if I wrote this shitpost for the claps? To which, I’ll answer, “does a bear shit in the woods?”

Smillew is a Medium writer who writes mainly about shit, his Medium newsletter, and his Medium referral link. No need to follow him; he’ll show up in your feed.