I Took a Shit in the Metaverse

Summary

The article "I Took a Shit in the Metaverse" by Smillew is a humorous and philosophical exploration of the experience of simulating a bodily function in a virtual world, reflecting on the nature of self and the potential for marketing within the metaverse.

Abstract

In an unconventional review, Smillew recounts the peculiar experience of defecating in the metaverse, an act that prompts existential questions about identity and the essence of what constitutes the self. The author describes the process as both transcendental and mundane, pondering the transformation of waste from a part of oneself to an unwanted object. The narrative delves into the philosophical implications of virtual excretion, questioning the connection between virtual actions and their real-world counterparts. Smillew also touches on the commercial aspects of such experiences, speculating on the potential for brand placement even in the most unexpected virtual activities. The article concludes with a personal anecdote about the author's metaverse experience, followed by a recommendation against engaging in such activities, and a nod to a friend's perspective on the metaverse's financial opportunities.

Opinions

The author finds the experience of taking a virtual shit in the metaverse to be surprisingly introspective and not merely a crude virtual act.
There is a sense of detachment and philosophical curiosity regarding what truly defines the self, as the virtual shit is contemplated as never truly being a part of the individual.
The act of defecating in the metaverse is likened to a form of meditation on the nature of existence and the parts of oneself that one can let go of without losing their identity.
The article humorously suggests that the metaverse could commodify even the most personal and trivial aspects of human experience, such as using the bathroom, through marketing and brand placement.
The author expresses a moment of existential concern when becoming bored in the metaverse, questioning the depth of the virtual experience and its impact on reality.
Smillew playfully proposes the idea of a 'double-meta' experience, akin to the movie 'Inception,' but is ultimately underwhelmed by the return to the mundane reality of sitting on a physical toilet.
The author indirectly comments on the potential for the metaverse to become a platform for monetization and the creation of virtual millionaires, as highlighted by a friend's article on the financial opportunities of the metaverse.

My advanced copy review

The first time you take a dump in the metaverse, you don’t know if you’re taking a shit in real life at the same time or not.

If nobody’s there to hear the plop when the turd falls into the loo, do we still have a soul? Should it be called metashit? How is it possible to perceive every step of the feces discharging process without actually doing a whoopsie?

These are the kind of questions that come to your mind when you pinch your first loaf in the metaverse.

It’s not the shitty experience you might think it is. It’s transcendental.

When our proto-turd is still in the large intestine, it’s a part of us, and we don’t mind; we don’t even think about it.

Now that I wrote about it, you might. But don’t worry, this gross feeling of having some poo inside your body will soon disappear. Hopefully. That’s not an image I would like to keep in mind for too long.

As soon as our bowels start moving towards the void, the proto-turd becomes shit, and we don’t want to have anything to do with it. It’s not part of our body anymore. It’s nothing but an old sock on its way to the dumpster. It makes me kind of sad to think that something was at the very center of my body once, and now, I don’t give a shit about it anymore.

Add to this a layer of metavirtuality and consider this question. What about the virtual shit in the metaverse; was it ever part of us?

And more importantly, is playing with it wrong? (I’m joking here)

Experiencing this primal process in the metaverse forces you towards introspection. You start wondering which parts constitute your true self; and which parts you could let go of without losing yourself. Dropping a log, real or virtual, doesn’t change your core beliefs. But doing it in the metaverse begs for the following question:

Did you figuratively drop your body in real life to enter the virtual metaverse?

But the real questions come after your metaflushed the metatoilet (assuming you’re metawell mannered here).

How powerful can marketing be if we’re ready to pay for the experience of taking a metashit? And how much did the toilet paper brand pay to get their metaroll on the metadispenser?

I Took a Shit in the Metaverse

My advanced copy review

In summary: I don’t recommend taking a shit in the metaverse.

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