avatarHogan Torah

Summary

A writer reflects on their journey to becoming a recognized humorist on Medium, despite personal struggles and initial rejections, and emphasizes the importance of humor as a coping mechanism.

Abstract

The author, who was once banned from Quora, shares their aspirations and tribulations in becoming a top humor writer on Medium. Initially facing rejections from prominent humor publications, they found a home at MuddyUm, where their talent was nurtured by dedicated editors. Despite setbacks, including a period of not writing due to personal conflicts and a break from humor writing, the author persisted. Their return to writing was inspired by competition and the arrival of rival writers, leading to a renewed focus on their craft. The author views their work as performance art and prioritizes the impact of their stories over financial gain. They candidly discuss their past struggles with addiction, current efforts to rebuild their life, and the therapeutic role of humor in overcoming suffering. The writer acknowledges the challenges of humor writing and the need for continuous development of their skill. They also highlight the importance of supporting fellow writers and express a commitment to elevating others, while aiming to prove themselves as the greatest of all time (GOAT) in humor writing.

Opinions

  • The author believes in their exceptional writing ability and considers themselves the best, expecting their presence to elevate any publication they join.
  • They value the role of editors who care about the content and the growth of writers within a publication.
  • The author initially did not consider money as a motivation for writing but has since earned enough to resolve past financial issues.
  • They express a competitive nature, driven by the desire to win contests and be recognized as a top writer, not just for the accolades but also for personal validation.
  • The author admits to making mistakes, such as lashing out at those who tried to help, and acknowledges the importance of apologies and forgiveness.
  • They see humor as a defense mechanism and a way to deal with personal suffering, suggesting that all humorists draw from a well of pain.
  • The writer is introspective about their past drug use and the consequences it brought, including living in their car and guilt associated with their Jewish heritage.
  • They are multifaceted, incorporating various media formats into their writing to create a multimedia experience for readers.
  • The author views their writing as a means to influence the cultural zeitgeist rather than merely as a source of income.
  • They respect and encourage other writers, particularly new talent, and see it as their duty to help elevate them, drawing inspiration from those who have done the same for them.
  • The author is self-aware about their work, recognizing when it is not up to par and using that as motivation to improve rather than giving up.
  • They are excited about future prospects, including starting a standup comedy career and continuing to challenge themselves in writing contests.

CRYING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK

Proving To The World You’re A GOAT When You’re Completely Fucking Miserable

Humor is a defense mechanism. Where there is humor, there is suffering

Image author

I came to Medium after receiving a lifetime ban from Quora. I wanted to write for the biggest and best humor publication there was, because I am the best.

I submitted my best story to Slapnuts and they said no. As did Jane Goodall's Hamper and the one with the pants.

A year ago MuddyUm was a ‘C’ publication at best. It didn’t even come up if you searched for humor. Two things Muddy had going for it was editors who gave a damn and Ryan Fan, who was and is the best all-around writer on Medium. I sent Susan Brearley one of my stories and I was in.

It didn’t matter where I wrote. I knew wherever I published, it would soon be the #1 publication, because they had me in it.

It was two months before I had my first hit.

When I say hit I mean it got 50 views after a month. I would cry if I put that much effort into a story that got 50 views today.

I expected to be a top writer in humor after a few stories. It took 70 stories and nine months before I earned my first humor top writer badge that I lost 3 days later.

Then I rage quit MuddyUm.

Susan ran a contest for the person who published the most stories. I didn’t give a shit about the money, I just wanted to win. I was supposed to make a list I didn’t get in on time. I said things to Susan that I still feel shitty for saying because she didn’t deserve that. She was one of the only people trying to help me.

I stopped writing humor for months.

What made me come back? Alex Cooper’s arrival to Medium. Alex has always been my rival. English humor vs. American. He asked what publications he should get into. I suggested The Haven and The Bad Influence and demanded he join MuddyUm. I want my work where it belongs, next to the best humorists in the world.

On a side note, people ask me why I don’t write for The Haven. Their motto is “Humor without being a jerk.”

Being a jerk is half my gimmick. Don’t ever fucking tell me what to do.

I came back to a much improved MuddyUm. They were no longer a ‘We publish anything!” publication. All the stories published were funny like they were supposed to be thanks to the new editors.

I’m not a writer, I’m a performance artist who uses writing as my medium. I do things the writers who write about writing tell you not to do. No two stories of mine are formatted the same. I don’t know how to make an outline. I like using pictures. I imbed media.

My goal is to take readers on a multimedia journey that sticks with them after they finished reading. It’s not about making money, it’s about infecting the zeitgeist with my art.

There’s a lot of people out there who think they are funny. Anyone can crack jokes, but creating pure humor from blank page is the most difficult form of writing. No one is instinctually good at it. It’s a talent that must be developed.

Humor is a defense mechanism. Where there’s humor, there is suffering.

In 2019 I stopped doing heroin. I never quit, I just don’t do it anymore. I once had a six-figure job, a house, dozens of girlfriends, and a couple of wives. I was a functional addict for a long time. Then wound up living out of my BMW with my dog.

Why did I turn to drugs? I had no trauma. My childhood couldn’t have been better. I don’t have an excuse. I guess I just like getting high.

Now I’m fortysomething and living with my mother again. I’ve ruined my life, betrayed friends, and enabled others' addictions for my benefit. On top of all that I’m Jewish so I’m bursting at the seams with guilt.

Today I’m getting my life back together. I made enough money writing to pay off all my fines and bench warrants. Tuesday I get my license back. A very special fan gave me a 1996 Nissan shitbox that I’m picking up later this week.

Good thing I’m okay with the size of my dick. Image author

I’m getting my shit together so I can drive to Hollywood and start doing standup. I’m an even better talker than writer.

GOAT stands for greatest of all time. I know how talented I am, now it’s time to show the world.

My recent attempts at writing humor were weak. I was ready to hang it up for a while. Then along came a man in a fuzzy black hat with one of the stupidest names I’d seen.

Smillew Rahcuef is good. One of the most unpredictable writers I’ve read. He utilizes satire, wordplay, and popsicle stick jokes while being able to tell a compelling story on any subject. Once he masters the Medium style he’s going to be a top writer for sure.

He asked me to enter his parody of the MWC.

When I started writing on Medium I also had all these crazy ideas that I tried to get other writers involved in that nobody wanted to do.

Now that I’ve made it on Medium, whatever the fuck that means, I feel it’s my duty to elevate other writers, just like Roz Warren did for me. One of the few writers here who doesn’t just have followers, she’s got fans.

I’d much rather be Sean Kernan or Ash Jurberg but I’m not. I’m this guy.

Meh, at least I’m not Portuguese. Sorry for the lack of funny.

Swc Meta
Humor
Addiction
Writing Life
Medium
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