Summary

Mr. McQuonague, a stage actor known for never portraying a woman, faces a career ultimatum to play Mrs. Doubtfire or be ousted from his role, amidst a fantastical narrative involving centaurs and unicorns, reflecting his internal struggle with identity and conformity.

Abstract

The narrative titled "Last Man Standing" revolves around Mr. McQuonague, an actor with a steadfast principle of never playing a female role. After a performance, he is confronted by Tyler, who informs him that the show's producers demand he play Mrs. Doubtfire or face termination. McQuonague, who sees himself as a "player" and a "burner of sacred fire," is torn between his artistic integrity and the pressures of the industry. His dreams of being a centaur seeking vengeance for his wife's murder, aided by unicorns, symbolize his fight against conformity. Despite his resistance, he ultimately acquiesces to the demand, highlighting the tension between personal identity and external expectations. The story is a collaborative effort by Fox and Smillew, part of a series called "the Two Headed Horse Tails," which encourages participatory writing with alternating contributions of 50 words each, totaling 300 words.

Opinions

McQuonague views his role as an actor with deep significance, equating it to a sacred duty.
Tyler represents the pragmatic side of the entertainment industry, prioritizing commercial success over artistic integrity.
McQuonague's dream sequences are a metaphor for his internal battle with identity and the pressure to conform to industry norms.
The ultimatum to play Mrs. Doubtfire is seen as a threat to McQuonague's sense of self, particularly his masculine identity.
The collaborative writing concept of "the Two Headed Horse Tails" emphasizes the importance of creative partnership and the dynamic nature of storytelling.
The narrative suggests that even those who resist conformity may eventually succumb to industry pressures to maintain their livelihood.

Two headed horse tails

Last Man Standing

And the Horse He Rode in on

Mr. McQuonague, the only living actor who’d never played a Woman on stage, took his bow, lit his match, drew that longpuff on the elegant yet krap-smelling cigar which ended his every performance. He knew there was a trap door beneath his feet.

Flick-Light, Snap, and downward …

“McQuonague! What a show tonight! Amazing and tremendously remarkable. I loved it! Looooooooved it!”

“Cut the crap, Tyler,” McQuonague replied sending a long puff of smoke toward the stage. “What do you want?”

“They’re pulling the plug. If you don’t want to play Mrs. Doubtfire, they don’t want you here.”

“D’you know what it means to be a player up there?”, McQuonague motioned to the stage now above them.

“Aye”, responded Tyler, with his best Willem Wallace.

“And to be an ‘Adam’; you understand that as well …”

“Y’mean Eve’s husband?”

“Aye, to be a burner of sacred fire …”

McQuonague’s dreams interrupted his sermon. He was a centaur, galloping through the forests and moorlands, seeking to avenge his wife’s treacherous murder. The unicorns had pledged help. They would not be stopped. But as they approached the castle, he felt a pain in his hind leg.

“McQuonague? You drifted again.”

McQuonague shook the silver curls from his eyes, threw the still-burning Ashton Classy on the subfloor.

“The Horse-man again, dammit!”

“He’s who’s doing this to you,” exclaimed Tyler.

“No, it’s my connection to the beginning! I’s made a man, you wet-reed! You too! Don’t you still boil?”

“I BOIL! I boil so hard, McQuonague. But when will you put down the kettle and realize the Horse-man and his groomer need a stable and some tasty hay? You need to play Mrs. Doubtfire or we’re out. You understand?”

“My heart is free.”

“And?”

“Let’s do it, Tyler.”

This story was co-written by Fox (the artist) and Smillew (top writer in satire).

It was our 23rd tale! Here are the previous ones:

We call the concept the Two Headed Horse Tails.

As Fox (poet and digital art expert) describes it, Two Headed Horse Tails can be a tug of war. Two people (one of them could be YOU) are trying to get a tale into the corral, sometimes even against each other’s will.

Here are the rules (follow them or break them):

300 words total.
Someone starts and writes 50 words. Then the other takes the lead and writes 50 more. Till the 300 count is reached.
You can switch back and forth as to who starts the piece. (or not! We do.)

What about finding yourself another horse writer and giving it a try?

And now, a commercial for the publication — Microcosm. Tell us a tiny tale, filled with heart.

Updated Submission Guidelines

As we grow, our mandate grows with us

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