BRAGGING TIME
I’m a TOP WRITER in Satire! YEAH!
The news came as a no-surprise this morning
I understand you don’t know me and have no reason to trust me. Let’s get that out of the way. Above is the slightly photoshopped screenshot as proof.
Why am I writing this article?
- To brag.
- To add the satire tag at the end and keep the badge for longer.
- To link to the stories that made an impact in the hope for additional views and moolah.
- To say thank you to the writers that inspired the articles. (Translation: to tag other writers in the hope of claps and comments)
The stories that made an impact
My MWC Acceptance Speech
- Written before Medium officially announced the results, I regularly read the article as a comfort for my loss.
- The best part is the kicker.
Inspired by the publication MuddyUm.
I Just Farted
- (I did it again)
- The best part is my pledge to sell bottles of my farts — conditions apply.
Inspired by David B. Clear’s comic strip about Twitter.
8 Reasons Why Boomers Are Funnier than Millennials
- Written to take advantage of the nonsensical — but actual — intergenerational feud, it didn’t work.
- The best part is that I wrote about farting again.
Inspired by the following boomers:
- The lovely Holly Holy
- The arrogant and grumpy Rocky Shores
- The naughty Emily (Little Miss Right Now)
- The disadejctivized Paul Mansfield
- The artful Art Bram
Someone told me to brag about it
Thanks to what can only be a mistake in the algorithm, BichoDoMato recently became top writer in creativity. Bolstered by the experience, he immediately wrote an article explaining how creative he was and why we should all listen to him.
The key — and only — takeaway is that you have to brag about your top writer badges.
Statistics for nerds — Top Writer in Satire is cheap
Three stories made an impact
As you can see and count for yourself, the numbers are pretty low. Only 102 fans/clappers and less than 800 views total.
End of bragging and tagging people.
Almost.
I also tag Reuben Salsa because there’s a chance he’ll get annoyed.
Oh! I also tag Hogan Torah because he told me I wasn’t funny recently. Here’s proof of the contrary! Take that, Hogan!
I feel like I might be tagging to many people here, so I stop. Tell me if you want to be added, though.