Kamala Harris, Busting the Narratives At Midlife

The new vice president, at age 56, is hardly invisible or irrelevant

Kamala Harris is about to make history on Jan. 20, when she will be sworn in as vice president of the United States — the first woman, a Black woman, the first Asian American, the daughter of immigrants. What few if any will be talking about at the inauguration or likely the rest of her term is her age. Harris is 56, an age when women supposedly become invisible and irrelevant (women actually become invisible much earlier than that, according to researchers).

Clearly, Harris is not invisible and irrelevant.

Throughout her run for Democratic president and then as president-elect Joe Biden’s running mate, Harris has unfortunately faced numerous racist and sexist attacks, which are likely not to disappear once she is sworn in. But one thing she has been spared is ageist attacks, most of which have been directed at Biden who, at age 78, will be America’s oldest president, and the typical narratives most women start hearing at midlife.

Harris doesn’t even make it in the top five youngest vice presidents. In fact, only 17 out of 48 vice presidents were older than she is. Of all the female Democratic presidential candidates in the 2020 race, only Kirsten Gillibrand and Tulsi Gabbard were younger. And at 56, she is about the average age of all our presidents.

In other words, solidly middle-aged.

Her age, however, does not seem to be a problem for anyone.

She’s a role model for women and girls, offering them “hope, validation and the shattering of a proverbial glass ceiling that has kept mostly white men perched at the top tiers of American government,” according to the Associated Press.

Again, her age does not seem to be a problem for anyone.

But it would likely be an issue if she were applying for a corporate or tech job or seeking a promotion or training in a current job — that starts working against women as early as age 40, according to research. Isn’t it ironic that Harris’ many years of experience is admired and desired as a vice president, but wouldn’t be admired and desired in business?

So, the fact that Harris will be vice president at age 56 and no one is freaking out about her age proves that women are most definitely not invisible or irrelevant professionally at midlife. In fact, they are just reaching their prime (or post-menopausal zest).

OK, well, what about romantically? Surely you’ve heard how older women have lost their desire and are no longer desirable. Nope. As I have written before, Harris was a never-married, childfree 50-year-old woman when she married Doug Emhoff, in 2014, and instantly became stepmom to his two children. And by all accounts, they have an equitable marriage — the kind so many women say they want but rarely end up having. So much for the message that older women aren’t valued in the dating and marriage market either, and that older men — Emhoff is also 56 — only value youth and beauty (that tends to be true just for men with gender-unequal attitudes).

Because smart, confident men, the kind that we older women want as partners or bosses or co-workers, know that older women have a lot to offer and they are not threatened by them. Now if we could only get the rest of society to see that, too.

Hey, I’m working on a book on changing the narrative about middle-aged and older women. Interested? Follow me here, on Medium, and on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, and let’s do this. You can also order the book I co-authored, The New I Do: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels (Seal Press), from your local indie bookstore (please do) or on Amazon. And we’re on Audible, too.

For more of the good stuff, follow Fourth Wave, where we’re changing the world for the better, one story at a time.

For more by this author, try: