avatarLon Shapiro

Summary

The website content presents a humorous take on the art of crafting headlines, with a series of tongue-in-cheek suggestions for writers struggling with writer's block.

Abstract

The article, titled "It’s 10:00 PM. Do You Know Where Your Headlines Are?", humorously addresses the challenges of creating engaging titles for written works. It acknowledges the potential for original ideas to be twisted and misinterpreted, empathizing with the frustration this may cause other writers. The author offers a light-hearted solution by presenting a list of 12 absurd and comical headlines, each with a playful twist on common advice for writers. These headlines are designed to provoke laughter and encourage writers to approach their craft with a sense of humor, even when they feel stuck. The piece concludes by suggesting that readers who enjoyed the article might also appreciate previous installments, providing links to related content.

Opinions

  • The author expresses sympathy for fellow writers whose ideas may have been misconstrued, indicating a shared understanding of the struggles of writing.
  • The article suggests that a humorous approach to writing can be beneficial, as seen in the playful misinterpretation of headlines.
  • The author uses hyperbole and absurdity to emphasize the importance of creativity and flexibility in writing, particularly in the creation of headlines.
  • There is an underlying appreciation for the craft of writing, despite the humorous tone, as the author encourages writers to persevere and find their unique voice.
  • The inclusion of previous articles on the topic implies a belief in the value of continued engagement with the writing community and the subject matter.

PART FOUR

It’s 10:00 PM. Do You Know Where Your Headlines Are?

All your carefully crafted titles are at risk.

Photo by sankavi on Unsplash

Welcome to Part 4 of Carefully Crafted Headlines Headed Toward Medium Mayhem.

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3

I can’t imagine the horror other writers must feel to see how far these ideas have been twisted and misinterpreted.

My apologies go out to all of you.

But then I saw this headline:

What to Do When You Feel Stuck with Writing?

I took that as a sign to write funny headlines.

As always, I try to misread each headline as if I were half asleep, dyslexic, or high, change the fewest words possible and then let the story lead me where it will.

#1: Why I Chose to Change My Last Name After Marrying My Wife: EXTRADITION

(No subtitle necessary)

#2: 25 Things to USE When You Love Someone

(And the One Thing You Should USE When You Don’t)

#3: For the WAITER, Everyday is Groundhog Day

(Facing the blank PAYCHECK, the only sane choice is to do the work)

#4:Don’t Let Someone Else STEAL Your Next Scene

(SLEDGEHAMMERS: Learn how to make empowered choices.)

#5: We Weren’t Supposed to Be FIENDS, Except We Were

(No subtitle necessary)

#6: The Most Important Thing Medieval Poetry Can Teach You About FLOGGING

(No subtitle necessary)

#7: We Can’t Always FUCK Someone’s Mood

(And that’s okay. THERE’S ALWAYS TOMORROW.)

#8: Make More FARTS: An Unmistakable Signature

(No subtitle necessary)

#9: What I’ve EARNED After 4 Years of Being a Full-Time Writer

(Are you sure you want to quit your day job?)

#10: If I’d Known I’d Have to Give Up SEX, I Might Not Have Had Kids

(The hundred thousand unmentioned sacrifices that come with breeding)

#11: How to Find Your WRITHING Groove When You Aren’t Feeling It

SSSSSSix helpful tips to get back to WRITHING. PEOPLE JUSSSST DON’T UNDERSTAND THE SSSSTRUGGLES OF BEING A SSSSSNAKE IN THE GRASSSSSS. IT’SSSSS TRULY TRAUMATIC TO CONTINUALLY BE PORTRAYED AS THE BAD GUY BY THE MEDIA. I ACTUALLY PREFER BEING IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND AND HIBERNATING, NOW THAT’S IT’S SSSSO COLD. BUT NOOOOO, SSSSSSOME JERK HAD TO CATCH ME WHILE I WAS SSSSSSUNNING MYSELF AND I GOT SSSSTUCK IN THIS SSSSTUPID MOVIE ABOUT THESE GUYS WHO WEAR HORNSSSSS ON THEIR HELMETS. THE DIRECTOR SSSSAID, “WE NEED A SSSSSNAKE PIT FOR THE BIG TORTURE SSSSCENE!” I TRIED TO SSSSLITHER AWAY. I’M A PRIVATE KIND OF GUY LIKE THAT. I ONLY WANTED TO ESCAPE WITH A LITTLE DIGNITY. AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY TO LIVE MY OLD LIFE, ONLY I WAS FOILED BY SSSSSOME BOOT-WEARIN’ BEER-GUZZLIN’ POT-BELLIED HIPPIE POSER GRIP. HE WALKED ON ME WHILE MOVING A LIGHT REFLECTOR AND LORD DID THAT HURT. WHO WOULDN’T START WRITHING EVEN IF YOU WANTED TO GO BACK INTO HIBERNATION? SSSSSO WHAT IF I NIPPED AT HIM TO GET HISSSS ATTENTION AND GET THE HELL OFF ME? CAN I HELP IT IF I’VE GOT POISONOUSSS FANGS? HE TRED ON ME AND NOW EVERYONE WANTS TO MAKE A BELT OUT OF ME. TALK ABOUT VICTIM BLAMING. I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS SSSSSSHIT.

#12: How To Increase Your Self-Awareness Without MEDICATION

(It’s just a gift)

If this made you laugh, you might like these other humorous articles.

Writing
Headlines
Humor
Médium
Social Media
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