A PRIVATES PROMPT

It Brings Tears To My Eyes When Anyone Claps For My “Balls”

Lately my “Balls” has been getting a lot of attention, and it hurts … so good

Maybe instead of clapping you could just send a letter.

My “Balls” is getting the claps And others, they keep writing “raps” They go on and on Like bangin’ a gong Please gimme a break or just taps

Be gentle and write a reply Ur clapping brings tears to my eye Don’t pound ’em, instead Respond with “well said” Or highlight like Perlmutter, that guy

Or better still, write a story It will add to our glory Just tag my “Balls” The root of it all Then I can stop feelin’ sorry

The “Balls” saga had humble beginnings, here:

Then several writers of note: Krystal Mossbarger 🏀 Sally Prag 🏈 Deborah Camp ⚾️ picked up my “Balls” and ran with it.

Overnight, “Balls”, Googling “Balls”, Michael Burg balls and MANY other “Balls”-related topics went worldwide and are now threatening to go viral.

Imagine that … Threatening Viral Balls!

What’s next? Will Hollywood come calling?

“Saving Ryan’s Privates” That’s got smash hit written all over it.

Or, maybe it’ll be Bollywood (Too much of a stretch for ya? OK fine I’ll back off, but not without saying that “stretch” in proximity to my “Balls” doesn’t exactly thrill me to be the bone.)

Will there be a TikTok “Balls”-inspired dance craze? What’ll they call it, “The Swing?”

Note of caution, “The Twist” was taken long ago, but still I’m a bit nervous.

To my knowledge, here’s the present clutch of “Balls” stories (OUCH!):

Note that Sally Prag and Deborah Camp have pairs of them, stories that is. Krystal Mossbarger is limping along solo, but who knows?

If you too want to have a pair, then grow a pair and publish your own “Balls” story or stories. Even one will do some damage, I’m sure.

Frank T Bird 🎳 BichoDoMato 🎳 Reuben Salsa 🎳 Hogan Torah 🎳 Smillew Rahcuef 🎳 Gunner Barrett 🎳 Uvebruce 🎳 Oscar Rhea 🎳 Scott Younkin 🎳 Care to show us what you’ve got?

And, just in time for VD, comes this short, sad sack of a story: