Summary

The author humorously discusses their success as a top writer in the "Bullshit" tag on Medium, offering advice on achieving similar recognition by writing on niche, less competitive topics.

Abstract

The article, titled "I’m a Top Writer in Bullshit," is a satirical take on the author's achievement of becoming a top writer in a small, humorous category on Medium. The author, who also ranks highly in two other unnamed tags, emphasizes the ease of standing out in the "Bullshit" category due to its limited number of writers and stories. They mention other top writers in the category, some of whom they know personally, and suggest that by focusing on writing about "bullshit" or similar tags like "crap" and "nonsense," one can quickly gain visibility and potentially become a top writer. The author also reflects on the fun and lack of monetary reward in writing for such niche categories, advising readers to prioritize enjoyment over profit.

Opinions

The author views the "Bullshit" tag as a small pond where they are a big fish, implying it's easier to stand out in less popular categories.
They make light of the achievement, suggesting that with minimal effort, one can trend and be considered the best in a tiny topic like "bullshit."
The author pokes fun at the idea of writing about "bullshit" as a strategy for gaining recognition on Medium, while also acknowledging the lack of financial gain from such endeavors.
They sarcastically suggest becoming Jewish as a metaphor for being chosen or successful, but quickly dismiss this as a real piece of advice, emphasizing that the key is to have fun with writing.
The author seems to value personal connections and interactions within the Medium community, as evidenced by their anecdotes about other top writers in the "Bullshit" category.

SELF-HELP?

I’m a Top Writer in Bullshit

The secrets of my success

Bullshit — upper left. Burg — lower right.

I’m also a top writer in two other tags. Both will remain nameless, but one rhymes with “tumor” and the other rhymes with “spare tire.”

But, let’s talk about Bullshit.

You’ll quickly see that I’m a big bullshit fish in the small bullshit pond. There are just 1.1k bullshit-tagged stories and 852 bullshit-tagging writers. If you dare toggle over to the bullshit top writer line-up, you’ll see that it is sparse.

I’m afraid to make fun of the #2 top writer in bullshit (read that as you wish) because I don’t know Harry Seitz. Plus he’s actually done some good in the world, being a returned Peace Corps volunteer (save your receipts just in case you wish to return your own Peace Corps volunteer).

However, I do know bullshit writers numbers 3, 4 and 5 in some way or another.

Terry Trueman and I have broken bread together. He has caged animals killed for his dining pleasure, but that’s another story.

Laurel B. Miller reads my stories all the time and comments, like the decent human being she is. I, of course, consistently fail to reciprocate and will likely continue to do so. Talk about some bullshit.

William (Dollar Bill) Mersey is a curmudgeon from New York City who definitely knows what bullshit is. As a result, he refuses to speak with me. Well played WDBM. Well played.

If you’ve read this bullshit to this point, you definitely deserve a reward, and no, it’s not a gift card to have your head examined, although that’s not a bad idea.

Instead, the takeaway from this initial bullshit blast is:

Find a bullshit type topic or tag and write the shit outta it. You’ll be a top writer in no time. Thank you and you’re welcome.

Moving on:

With almost no effort at all you can both trend and be “best” in a tiny topic like “bullshit.”

It’s fucking great.

Here’s some of my bullshit that’s currently trending.

Racist Assholes
Hell — Can I Join the Club?
Lao Tzu — Does He Really Know What He’s Talking About?

In the “best” bullshit category (as determined by who-TF-knows?) comes.

Shitheads and Fucking Idiots — A Love Story
Chimps and Chumps — Monkey Pox News

So here’s takeaway bonus #2

Wanna trend and/or be the best? Pick a bullshit tag like “bullshit” and ride it like a rented redheaded stepchild (or whatever they say about things like that).

Both “crap” and “nonsense” are just screaming for writers. Just saying.

Finally (this proves that God exists) comes this.

Bullshit, and by extension, both “crap” and “nonsense” are fun. (Careful now, I’m following both “crap” and “nonsense” and may shortly start tagging stories accordingly. But, if you jump in there quickly you might just rise to the top of those steaming heaps.)

You’re not going to make any money here so you might as well have fun.

Yeah, being “chosen for further disembowelment” is a blast. So is, being a top writer in a recognizable category. But, both will get you bupkis.

OK fine you goyim, I’ll save you a trip to Urban Dictionary.

bupkis

Nothing, zero, zilch.

I put a lot of hard work into this project, and all I got was bupkis.

Here’s the 3rd takeaway, and really the best one.

Become Jewish.

No, not really. You have to be chosen, and it’s not all that cool even if you are, what with the cutting off of important things and the running in terror every now and again.

Instead, just have fun.

There now — for the three of you bullshitters who read to the bottom of the page — wasn’t that worth it?

More Burg Bullshit:

NyQuil Chicken Challenge and Other Fun Recipes

You can’t make this stuff up

medium.com

Tagging some other bullshitters cuz I can. And “YES!” I know that’s bullshit.

Christopher Robin, Reuben Salsa, Frank T Bird, Gunner Barrett, Kristine Laco, Jennifer McDougall, Toni Crowe, Carol Lennox, Uvebruce, Jason Provencio, Smillew Rahcuef, BichoDoMato, Daniel Burg, Kristen Stark

I Tweeted Michelle Obama

And She … Replied!

medium.com