I wrote medium meta again, but this time it’s funny
I Made $17.62 with This Article, and You Can Easily Copy the Concept
Follow the guidelines
Carlo Zero recently challenged me (and you) to share my Medium earnings. As I’m a kind soul and don’t want to make him cry, I decided to limit my divulgations to one story.
Funny enough, it’s already more than the cumulated amounts disclosed by Carlo Diet in his original article.
Is it a surprise?
Not really.
After all, I’m not simply a writer; I’m much more than that. I’m an editor. (It’s the fancy name Medium gives to people who click on the publish button for you when you submit to a publication.)
Being an editor means you get to write submission guidelines.
That’s where I’ll deliver on the promise I made in the title of this article
The submission guidelines for The Pub made $17.62 so far.
Here’s a link that will help you help me increase this number:
And here’s a screenshot taken by my grandma for your masturbatory pleasure (metaphorically speaking):
If you’re anything like Carlo Cherry, you might be consumed by self-doubt at that point. You might think submission guidelines aren’t for you because they’re hard to write.
Let me clear up these sad clouds floating in the beautiful blue sky of your brain by answering some of the most common questions.
Is it hard to write submission guidelines?
HA HA HA.
Sorry, I always laugh when I hear this question.
If people like May Nomore (Tantalizing Tales), Paul Fieldsofnightmares(Redemption Magazine), and Waco Laco (Doctor Funny) could do it, so can you.
Submission guidelines are one of the two easiest topics to write about; the other is „making money on Medium” articles. But I don’t recommend going as low as that if you want to be treated seriously in your Medium career.
What are the benefits of writing submission guidelines?
One word: power.
By writing submission guidelines, you finally have the chance to be despicably petty about the Oxford comma, mandatory tags, and any other topic you fancy.
The more restrictions, the better. Because I can guarantee you will find pleasure in scolding writers that don’t respect them. Only poetry can express the thrill of rejecting a draft for trivial reasons.
Pro-tip: find something people will always forget to do for optimal fun. For example, tell them that all tags should be exactly nine characters long.
Can you help me write my submission guidelines?
You bet!
A symbolic contribution to the SmillewFund will guarantee you my help for years to come. (For clarity purposes, I’ll add that the threshold for symbolic is $799.99)
Can you tag writers in the submission guidelines?
All right, that’s a tricky question, but the short answer is „fuck yes.”
Remember your goal is to make money with the guidelines, so you need eyeballs. Since your pub will likely be about an obscure subject no one wants to write about, I recommend tagging the shit out of the other writers.
Pro-tip: tag people, then edit your piece and remove their names. People will eventually block you, but they’ll first have to read the whole thing (make it long) to realize their name isn’t anywhere (insert evil laugh).
(Of course, I would never do that. Certainly not to Reuben Salsa or Simon Dillon. I know how they hate the idea.)
Can you add a FAQ to the submission guidelines to increase reading time and make more money by answering silly questions on and on without ever stopping, even if you really don’t have anything more to say to the readers of your articles?
That’s what Medium topest top writers call „fluff.”
Remember „quality is over quantity,” and don’t do that fluffiness FAQ fingy; unless you’re a Medium topest top writer, or a misunderstood genius, of course.
Link to the article mentioned in this article:
Link to submission guidelines mentioned in this article:
Link to the best submission guidelines ever written:
