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Abstract

reensdictofslang.com/entry/2z2oc6i">Bronx</a>, <a href="https://greensdictofslang.com/entry/zvxb47y#5e4dqfa">open your lunchbox</a>, and the topic will become trendy on Twitter, Google, and this platform.</p><p id="3c47">So trendy the Algorithm will pick up this article (<i>thanks to my SEO genius</i>) and send this biscuit in the air!</p><p id="ca97">Directly past the <a href="https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/where-is-the-edge-of-space-and-what-is-the-karman-line">Karman line</a> of virality, where even the stinkiest farts don’t smell (because it’s space, and you can’t fart in a spacesuit.)</p><h1 id="bfe8">Is there something to win?</h1><p id="87a1">No, but there might be something to buy in the future.</p><p id="9224">Remember Belle Delphine? Gamer Girl? In 2019, she started selling her <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/jul/12/belle-delphine-gamer-girl-instagram-selling-bath-wate">bathwater for $30 a bottle</a>. And she made more than <a href="https://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2020/12/05/meet-21-year-old-londoner-made-10-million-selling-bathwater/">$ 10 million</a> from it by the end of 2020.</p><p id="1c63">Here’s my pledge to you: <b>if this post gets more than 10,000 views, I will sell bottles of my farts.</b></p><p id="dba7">You know what to do.</p><p id="9267"><i>⁴²I’m not famous, but I did throw undies competitively:</i></p><div id="3f7c" class="link-block"> <a href="https:

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//readmedium.com/what-i-learned-from-throwing-undies-competitively-496286636d7e"> <div> <div> <h2>What I Learned From Throwing Undies Competitively</h2> <div><h3>If you’ve got a string of bad luck, bite your thong and keep on trying.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*tSYs1GJMAjdeRHk3b-dpxg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="59ac"><a href="undefined">Smillew<i></i></a><i> is a <a href="https://smillewrahcuef.medium.com/my-best-stories-be161bc71109">writer</a>, a <a href="https://twitter.com/Smillew_Rahcuef">tweeter</a>, and <a href="https://readmedium.com/5-things-i-do-to-maintain-sexual-tension-in-my-marriage-6607f17f9ec0">a serial masturbator</a>. He also enjoys <a href="https://readmedium.com/yoga-gave-me-the-best-blowjob-of-my-life-b39907214d2a">yoga </a>and <a href="https://readmedium.com/from-0-to-150-steps-how-staircase-meditation-has-been-good-for-me-7671b438ac47">meditation</a>. Some he does <a href="https://ko-fi.com/smillew">well</a>, some <a href="https://smillewrahcuef.medium.com/membership">not so well</a>, but he still <a href="https://readmedium.com/would-you-like-to-buy-my-course-on-nothing-4114450cbe0a">tries them all</a>.</i></p></article></body>

I Just Farted

No need for a subtitle

Ripping some pretty strong farts with my wife - photo by Cristobal Baeza

Yes.

I’m ready to go that low for clicks. Wouldn’t you do the same?

He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a fart.

The question is, am I famous enough to rip this one?

According to research by David B. Clear, Ph.D., only famous people can tweet something as stinky as I just farted and get thousands of likes, replies, and shares.

We’re here to prove him wrong.

We both know I’m not famous⁴².

But I don’t need to be famous to fart, nor for people to appreciate this exquisite wisecrack. I only need to get viral.

That’s where you can help, not by clapping and commenting, but by farting.

Ready, Set, Fart!

Wind the horn, cheer like you’re in the Bronx, open your lunchbox, and the topic will become trendy on Twitter, Google, and this platform.

So trendy the Algorithm will pick up this article (thanks to my SEO genius) and send this biscuit in the air!

Directly past the Karman line of virality, where even the stinkiest farts don’t smell (because it’s space, and you can’t fart in a spacesuit.)

Is there something to win?

No, but there might be something to buy in the future.

Remember Belle Delphine? Gamer Girl? In 2019, she started selling her bathwater for $30 a bottle. And she made more than $10 million from it by the end of 2020.

Here’s my pledge to you: if this post gets more than 10,000 views, I will sell bottles of my farts.

You know what to do.

⁴²I’m not famous, but I did throw undies competitively:

What I Learned From Throwing Undies Competitively

If you’ve got a string of bad luck, bite your thong and keep on trying.

medium.com

Smillew is a writer, a tweeter, and a serial masturbator. He also enjoys yoga and meditation. Some he does well, some not so well, but he still tries them all.