How to Successfully Merge Your Semen Retention Practice into Your Relationship
Here’s how to avoid these 5 embarrassing mistakes
I had been working hard on my semen retention practice for a couple of years. Then I got into a relationship.
And I thought to myself, oh shit, now what’s going to happen?
It’s hard enough managing your sexual energy, but what about females as well?
This was very worrying and troublesome. I had gotten massive benefits from a non-ejaculation practice, but I haven’t done it whilst in a relationship.
Learn from my (embarrassing) mistakes to establish a sound practice.
Get her on side — sell, sell, sell
Although I had been doing semen retention for a few years, it had always embarrassed me to talk about it.
Now I talk to my mom about it, but not back then.
When I got into this new relationship, I didn’t tell her about practicing semen retention.
I had ejaculated during sex every time we had sex for the first month, and we were having sex every couple of days. Whilst I had the love bounce in my step from being in a new relationship, energetically I was drained.
And I knew it was because I was ejaculating so frequently.
#1. Mistake number 1 (2 & 3)
I thought, this has to stop. So, like a good CFO when the bank account has been drained of funds, I strategized.
The next night she was coming over to stay. I thought I would not ejaculate and see how it goes.
After dinner, we skipped watching a movie and jumped into bed.
My sexual energy skyrocketed, like a pub-adolescent teen. I lost all control. Immediately, my plan was falling apart.
After not long, I was inside her and I knew I was in danger of ejaculating. I thought it would be a great idea to go full yogi and do the uddhiyana bandha. Wrong!
“Are you ok?” she enquired in a weird voice.
“Umm yeah,” I nervously replied.
She is onto me; I thought. She must have felt me holding my breath and drawing my navel back to my spine. So I released the uddhiyana bandha.
Within 2 minutes of this exchange, she had orgasmed. I had ejaculated and sleep had descended over me.
Rookie mistakes:
- Not managing sexual energy — Sex energy is one, if not the most powerful force within a human being. It’s brought down the most powerful men in the world, ask Bill.
- Commitment — A semen retention practice is no laughing matter. You need to commit, man. You don’t commit; you fail.
- Get her on board — The biggest thing to be successful is you need to talk to her about your non-ejaculation practice. Explain to her the benefits.
Greater intimacy. During lovemaking, you open yourself up not just physically but emotionally. The sex will last longer when you don’t hence you will be in connection longer.
Longer sex. The longer the sex, the more pleasure she will enjoy. A win for everyone.
Multiple orgasms. Not to brag (but I will), but an ex-partner said she never had multiple orgasms before me because the guys died after ejaculating. But I could keep going, as I didn’t ejaculate.
Draino. Explain how when you ejaculate, you are losing huge amounts of energy and feeling drained not only after making love, but during the day as well. And how energized you feel when you conserve this precious energy.
#2. Mistake numbers 4 & 5
I was in a neo-tantra course in my early 30s, when during the talk, a girl piped up.
“So when does it (sex) end if he doesn’t ejaculate?”
After about 2 months into our new relationship, I explained to her the benefits. She somewhat understood and was on board.
Then we hit another snag.
She had happily had her 3 orgasms. Normally females will back off and rest a little, taking in the experience. But her body tensed up, and she kept going.
In response, my body became contracted as well. We awkwardly continued for a few minutes. Then stopped, and there was silence.
Oh Sh!t, now what?
I could feel another deep and meaningful convo coming on. I waited until I felt her relax.
“Are you ok?”
“Um yeah, I think so.” she replied nervously.
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t know when sex stops now and I feel I have let you down by not making you cum,” she tentatively explained.
Rookie mistakes:
4. Love-making length — Because when you ejaculate, you suffer the mini-death, and you cannot go again. That was the end of sex for both of you. Now, after she orgasms, you are still right to keep going.
Explain to her that sex can come to a natural end when you both feel it’s time. You will naturally develop and feel a rhythm of when the conclusion will happen. It’s not ruled by a stopwatch.
It’s unspoken, but understood.
5. It’s not her job — A woman wants to make her man happy. She feels satisfied when she has made you cum. She feels selfish because she has orgasmed, but you haven’t. Explain that you get pleasure during sex. And that you are happy not to ejaculate.
What to do:
- Communication — Talk to her and get her involved. Explain to her the various practices you will use.
- Commit — whether to not ejaculate at all or ejaculate only at a certain frequency. This is what I did. I committed to ejaculating once a month.
- Manage sexual energy — You are going to get stimulated in different ways in a relationship. And have less control over how much you get stimulated by another person involved. Read here to work with the Point of No Return to master your sexual arousal level.
Practices during Sex
There are several effective practices you can whip out of your tool belt during sex. They will help manage your sexual energy and stop you from ejaculating.
It’s important to explain the below practices to her and why you do them. Then when you do them, she knows what you are doing and how to respond.
Pause
The simplest is normally the best, and that’s the case with this technique.
When you are dry humping, losing yourself in foreplay or during sex, your sexual energy takes off like a steam train. You are headed straight to the Point of No Return in a matter of moments.
So you need to stop! Immediately.
Stopping will not ruin the mood.
Whispering in her ear, “just stop for a second.” She will respond in kind and give you time. Your arousal level will drop quickly.
You need only stop for a few seconds. You can then jump straight back into it.
By allowing your sexual arousal level to drop, it prevents ejaculation.
You will need to pause multiple times. Don’t be embarrassed.
As you mature, you learn not to allow yourself to get so aroused so quickly. Plus, she will thank you for not ejaculating after 3 minutes.
Withdrawal
When you are inside her and pausing didn’t work.
Withdraw your penis from inside her. You can either partly or completely withdrawal your penis. The full withdrawal is most effective.
Again say to her, to stop for a second. As you withdraw, your breath will lower and your arousal level will drop.
After a few seconds, after your sexual energy has dropped, you can continue.
With pausing and the withdrawal, I have found she will continue to run her hands over your body, so the connection is not broken.
Micro orbit
You need to get the sexual energy out of the groin area. If not, there will be a big build-up of energy and you will either:
- Ejaculate
- Left feeling very frustrated
During sex use the micro orbit to circulate the sexual energy.
If you are new to the practice, it may feel strange to do this while making love. However, in time it will feel natural and easy to use. I use it every single time I have sex.
To can learn it here.
Concluding thoughts
Sadly, this relationship only lasted 8 months. As she turned out to be a violent alcoholic. A story for another time.
However, I learned how to incorporate a semen retention practice into a relationship. For that, I will always be thankful.
A powerful semen retention practice is of benefit not only for yourself but also for your women. But she will only know this if you bring her on the journey. You do this by opening up the conversation.
As you explore your sexuality, so can she. You will find, if she is open to it, this exploration will bring you closer together.
You may sometimes spill your seed and she may find it hard to stop. But along the way, you both learn and grow together. And you find that a semen retention practice will be one of your greatest personal development experiences, ever.
