Ejaculation Management: The Ultimate How to Guide to Solving Premature Ejaculation
Successful Lovers aren’t premature ejaculators. The number 1 reason men are premature ejaculators.
You can go from zero to (Sexual Super) hero in no time.
You ejaculate when your arousal level goes past the point of no return.
I took the approach with sex being focused on ensuring my partner and I orgasm. This attitude doesn’t work with sex and ejaculation management.
Your way forward to move beyond premature ejaculation is to understand your arousal level, how this impacts the point of no return, and some techniques that will bring you and your body back to a natural state.
Your issue around premature ejaculation could be due to being hard-wired to complete a job and/or from internet porn consumption from when you were a teenager (or even still today.)
Men like to get a job completed, we want to get to the finish line. There is a sense of satisfaction associated with getting the job done. Sex isn’t like a horse race, where whoever gets to the finish line first is the winner. Sex is the complete opposite.
When you were a teenager the potential shame and guilt from being caught masturbating (normally to pornography) drove you to ejaculate as fast as possible. Your nervous system then is wired to respond this way when you engage in sex with your partner or when you are masturbating now. Meaning when you have sex, your body ejaculates as fast as possible.
When your arousal level gets to a certain point, known as the point of no return, then no matter what you do you are going to ejaculate.
#1. What is Your Arousal Level
Merriam-Webster dictionary defines arousal as:
“A state of physiological and psychological excitation caused by sexual contact or other erotic stimulation.”
A key to dealing with your premature ejaculation problem is to become aware of your arousal level. More specifically the speed at which it escalates. Your arousal level means how sexually aroused you are or horny you are feeling.
Be aware of the feeling associated with being sexually aroused and how it varies through your sexual experience. Physically feel how your body is responding as you get more and more aroused. Various muscles in your body will contract, and your breathing rate will increase.
You may only feel the sexual energy only in your penis and testicles or maybe around the whole pelvis area or even through most of your body. All guys feel it differently and in different areas.
But you need to register how it feels and notice the intensity.
If you aren’t aware of your sexual energy escalating fast, you will ejaculate fast.
Your sexual energy varies, meaning you can be really horny or you can be slightly aroused, and most importantly anything in between!
Most premature ejaculators go from hardly aroused to their maximum arousal level extremely quickly. Then after ejaculating so fast, left feeling totally unsatisfied or possibly marked with shame and guilt.
#2. Point of no Return
The point of no return (PNR) is the feeling when you know you are going to ejaculate and there is nothing humanly possible you can do to stop it.
You could run around with your pants on fire but if you pass the point of no return, you are going to ejaculate and there is no coming back from that.
The graph shows your arousal level (amount of sexual energy) on the left, with 0 being not arousal, up to 10, which is fully aroused, at which point you ejaculate.
The PNR is at an arousal level of 8. This means when your arousal level passes 8 you are going to ejaculate and you cannot slam on the brakes to stop.
A premature ejaculator will allow their sexual energy to escalate very fast. They will go from 0 to 8 very quickly and then spill their seed. Very quickly, meaning less than a minute up to a few minutes.
Depending on how skilled you are at maintaining your orgasmic energy, there is a couple of seconds gap (if that) between when this feeling of knowing you are going to ejaculate and when you do ejaculate.
#3. How your Arousal Level and PNR work together
Understanding how your arousal level works and that you have a PNR, you are theoretically positioned to understand how to make permaculture ejaculation a thing of the past.
This is done by managing your sexual arousal level during lovemaking or masturbation.
When you are engaged in a sexual activity allow your arousal level to move in between 4–8 only. Meaning your sexual energy level will go slightly up and down, so as not to allow yourself to go straight up and over an arousal level of 8.
In so doing you enjoy the pleasurable sensations of sex over a prolonged period.
In the initial stages of practice, however, you will not want to go beyond 6. The reason is your experience is really low; if you get to 7 you will automatically shoot straight over your PNR at 8.
This is about energy management, not manipulation. This isn’t about doing anything harmful to you or your partner. But allowing you to extend and go deeper into an experience. In so doing, connect deeper with yourself and your partner.
Through various, easy-to-apply techniques, ejaculation will be a choice and not an automatic bodily reaction.
#.3 How to manage your sexual energy
Like riding a bike or car there is a lot to learn at the start. As such you can get stuck in your head a lot. But over time you will go from acting out on mental instruction to making more fluid adjustments based on how you feel.
Before deep diving straight into the secret techniques of ejaculation management, if you are in a relationship, talk with your partner about the advantage you have embarked on. Having her support will make things so much easier and more enjoyable. Remember it’s for your partner’s enjoyment too so they will normally be open to assist.
“What are you doing?” she furiously yelled out when I pulled out all the stops and brought out my array of newly acquired ejaculation management techniques — I stopped breathing then exhaled, my face went beetroot red, and I took the tip of my tongue to touch the palate immediately behind my teeth, I started contracting and relaxing my buttock muscles and I drew my navel to my spine.
To make matters worse I whipped it out from inside her (just as she was about to orgasm.) Hilarious now, but I assure you it was for her at the time. When a woman is in heat and about to have a mind-blowing orgasm, you don’t want to mess with that!
These are all extremely effective techniques, at the appropriate time. But if you don’t talk to your partner and let them know what is going on, keeping them in the dark creates confusion and distrust.
Let’s get down to business — techniques.
These techniques work with moving the sexual energy away from your pelvis area. This is a vital key in resolving your premature ejaculation problem.
Microcosmic orbit. This is the easiest and most effective place to start. Breathe in, and imagine the sexual energy that is located at the penis and testicles running up your spine and then to the top of your head. When you exhale, imagine the sexual energy coming down the front line of the body to your navel. When you have this down, you can take the tip of the tongue to touch the top of your palate behind the teeth. Continue to cycle in this manner.
Withdrawal. When you feel that you have got aroused too fast during sex and you are about to ejaculate. Immediately stop. Withdraw your penis and wait until you feel your energy level has dropped before recommencing sex.
Stop. The same as the above, but without withdrawing your penis. Simply stop when you feel like you are about to ejaculate. Then recommence having sex when your energy level has dropped. This can be used when masturbating as well.
Relaxation. You can use this simple technique when the addiction to immediately wanting to cum has dissipated. Beware of the sexual energy around the groin, especially between your legs. Holding your focus on this area, tell yourself to relax. Relax your anus and perineum. Immediately, you will feel your sexual energy release from this area.
Two other powerful practices are The Big draw and The Cool Draw.
Final thoughts
When you do ejaculate, you want it to be out of choice and not from an unconscious bodily compulsion. Alternatively, you can choose not to ejaculate during sex or masturbation and reap the many benefits of keeping your semen and vital energy inside your body.
Being in charge of your sexual energy has a commanding effect on others. Women are attracted to a man that is powerful and proactive as opposed to a man that cannot control himself and is reactive.
Learn to naturally regulate your arousal level for your and your partner’s sexual fulfillment. Sexual fulfillment is an important aspect of a dynamic holistic lifestyle.
